You Thought Wrong
by Londs
Summary: Becky is the shy bookworm and best friend with Remus. She also has a crush on Sirius Black, the heartthrob who doesn't even know she exsist, but that will soon change.
1. The Wedding

**I do not own Harry Potter **

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'It's impossible mom, it doesn't fit!' I said and looked at my mum referring to the emerald shoulder dress I was wearing. I had started to chew on my hair; it's a habit a do every time I get nervous. My mum Sarah, in particularly didn't like it and was staring to get angry with me as we stood in my room. My oldest sister Anna was getting married today, and I was supposed to be one of the bride's maid in this dress, however something must have happened since I last tried it on because I couldn't get it on.

'Don't worry about it, your aunt Jill is a very talented witch. Don't chew on your hair please Becky!' She said as I plucked out the long light brown straw in my mouth angrily.  
'Happy?'  
'It's your sister's wedding day. Try to act a bit nice, won't you?'  
'Well, I just discovered I'm fat so I think that qualifies for being in a bad mood.' I said determined

My mum stared at me and started to laugh. My mum! I stood there in with a wide open mouth. This was the woman who had given birth to me, the woman who had helped raised me and she was laughing at my misery? This was so not funny.  
'Mum, can you please stop laughing. So I like candy and perhaps eat a bit more than I should. STILL not nice to me to laugh that I've gotten fat'

Then my mum did the oddest thing , she hugged me. This is so confusing, I'm fat and my mum laughs at me and then hugs me? Seriously, I need to get a new family. I can see the article in The Daily Prophet. '16 year old girl left in abandonment and looking for a family'.  
'Honey, you 're not getting fat. You're getting curves' Oh…that is a whole different thing.  
'Well, you could just have said that in the start mum'  
'Oh, I promise you that it was much more fun this way. Well, hurry of to your aunt; she's probably in the garden.

My mum left in a hurry, mumbling something about the flower arrangements.

As usually my mum freaked out every time something happened and she freaked out about every little detail.

My room was tiny, with a bed, wardrobe, desk and a bookshelf covered with books. I don't think it ever would be possible for me to live without them. It's just the idea of letting yourself go into another place, another world that I love. You may say that I'm living…but how can I live when my mind is anywhere but my life? Absolute favorite authors of mine are Shakespeare and Dickens. I just live for those books. They are both muggle books and just can't get enough of them.

Suddenly realizing I needed to find my aunt Jill and I walked out of the room and down the staircase. Everyone was working up until the grand wedding. My sister had decided to have it in the garden which I personally think was a great choice. As I went into the kitchen, where people were standing now preparing the food for the grand feast and there were trays of beverages being prepared.

When I stepped out to the garden through the kitchen door I couldn't be anything more then amazed of how good it looked even though it was a completely mess right now with people walking around waving their wands, placing the benches and decorating with white roses. I never seen the garden look this beautiful and right in the middle of it I saw Jill.

As I walked to her I heard someone calling my name and I looked back, it was my sister Anna screaming from the window.  
'BECKY THOMPSON, what has happened tot your dress?!' Of course, the only person in the wedding freaking out more than mum was the bride.  
'Anna, calm down. Okay? It doesn't fit but it's getting fitted'  
'You have gotten fat?' She asked me. I tried all my power not to run up and smack her but then I remembered that she was the sister I actually liked.  
'NO. I'm getting curves, god damn it'!' She decided it was time to keep quiet since something else leaving me to finally get help from my aunt. She saw me come up and hugged me.

'Becky!' 'Now…what has happened to your dress?'  
'It doesn't fit, can you help me?'  
'Of course.' She said. 'Now which spell...ah I know' she said and waved her wand as she mutterd the words 'perficio opportunus'. I felt how the dress suddenly felt lighter on my skin and I could actually breath in it.  
'Thank thank thank you!' My aunt then put her hand over her mouth. Was something wrong? I looked and turned around in my dress put I couldn't see a single thing that was out of order.  
'What is it?'  
'You look like a woman, you're so beautiful'. My aunt wasn't the only one who seemed to have notice that since everywhere I walked people said how grown up I looked and I've to say…I enjoyed it even though when I looked at all my cousins and sisters' I felt as though I could never ever compete with them.

Soon the guests started to pour in and I and my other older sister Alva had the very lovely assignment to stand and give a fake smile to everyone who got in. We stood around a cup, which had been turned into a port key as we waited for the next guests to arrive.  
'I've no feeling left in my cheeks anymore' I said to Alva and she laughed. Not the kind of dorky laughter I had but a very light, soft and feminine laughter.

Today we both had been in a good mood and none of us had started to fight which we usually do after about one minute with each other. It's not that I don't love my sister…it's just that I don't like her and we're the complete opposite. She has blond hair that will get any guy and brown eyes. She had got her looks from our dad and was the only one of us three that had. Both I and Anna had dark hair like our mum although Anna had the same eye color as my mum, green and I had hazel color.

Alva is two year older than me and have just gone out from Beaxbeautons. I don't know why she had decided to go there since everyone in our family had gone to Hogwarts but she had now developed a French accent which made her EVEN more attractive to guys who already was drooling over her. Yes, she is the kind of girl that can get any guy she likes, social butterfly and amazing grades. See what I mean with opposite of me? I'm the bookworm that most people don't notice, especially not guys and even though I study as hard as I possible can I never get the top marks.  
''ave you seen the guys 'ere? 'ello hotties!' She said and I laughed, it was such an Alva thing to say.

There was a flash of light, and a dozen people had arrived. None of which whom I've meet before but I welcomed them to our house together with Alva. Anna was marrying Alexander Westfield, a nice bloke who owned a store at Diagon Alley. They were really perfect for each other, because Anna was like mum going all over protective and there chemistry was just so honest and Alexander was one of the nicest people on the planet. Alva and I moved to the next port key, which was a hat. I didn't notice that the hat was shining brightly and a few more guests arrived.

First, it was my grandma and grandpa of the people, some of Anna's friend and some from Alexanders' family, Mrs and Mr Potter with their son James that was in the same year and house as me at Hogwarts. He was Alexander's cousin and with him was the famous marauders was here. The marauders consisted of James Potter who was tall, handsome guy with jet black that always looked wild and was his thing he valued the most. In lines with his Qudditch broom and Lily Potter (the girl he stalked and was obsessed about) of course. He greated me with a fast hug. Then there was Peter Pettigrew, whose appearance couldn't be described in other words than mousy and also was the shortest of the guys. He was the follower of the guys, he greeted me with a awkward handshake.  
'REMUS!' I uttered as I saw who was next and ran to his embrace. We had been friends since second year when we had starting talking to each other after looking at each other for one year when we were the only ones left in the library. He has light brown hair and was the kindest person I've ever met. He smiled at me, which only emphasised the scars in his face which by now I was used to seeing.  
'I've missed you!'  
'I've missed you to Becky' I looked from the corner of my eye.

The next person should be Sirius Black and suddenly all I could think about was how he would greet me, a handshake? A hello? A hug? As I looked at the spot where the guys had seen him it was empty. I turned around to ask Remus where he was and saw him holding Alva's hand and kissing it. He was the most handsome and sexy guy I ever will meet.

He was known for his hearbreaks ways at Hogwarts, not being able to hold on to a girlfriend for more than one week and then dumping then. There always was a group of pathetique girls' following his every move, hoping to be the next thing for the week. To my horror, Alva giggled and put on her brightest smile.  
''Pleasure meeting you…?'  
'Oh, Alva' Alva said and giggled more. 'Can I escort you to your seat?' She asked  
'Most definitely' He said and they walked away together  
'I'm Becky by the way' I said quietly. I actually felt a bit disappointed, not because I would think he actually would ever notice me but because here I am, in what people say the most grown up I've ever looked and he doesn't even look, or rather notice I'm there. Not that I would want that. OKAY, so kill me. I've a crush on Sirius Black. Just the biggest heartbreaker at Hogwarts. But whatever, I mean it's not like he will ever look at me, or know who I'm. This is just a great example. Me, that is in the same house as him and grade at Hogwarts for six years and he doesn't notice me but then my sister who he has never seen he notice straight. I would absolutely kill to be Alva. She's social, noticed and amazing and oh, yeah she's with Sirius Black at this moment. And IF it should ever happen that Sirius would actually know of my existence it would be totally wrong because we're the opposite of each otherr. AND I mean opposite like jing and yang. But jing and yang work well together…damn. There is now way we could possible fit together. But how come then that all I can think about when he's near how much I want to feel his lips against mine, see him looking into my eyes, whisper something in my hear, and make me laugh. AND so I'm back again to hopeless romantic daydreaming that will never happen. I really do read too much romantic novels.

The ceremony was beautiful, it really was. I couldn't help but feel a bit jealous of Anna who had found someone who she could see herself spending the rest of her life with and making such a big commitment. The thought, to be honest scared me. Even though I read hundreds of book where the characters end up living happily ever after I know that is rarely the case. That's one of the reason I read because in there I can be drawn into a world where that it is possible for me to live happily ever after. As I was sitting at the table with Remus, James, Peter and my friend Erin Roberts. Helena had green eyes and brown hair that went to her shoulders. Sirius was sitting at the table beside us with his army of girls, Alva being one of them. All of the girls laughed at every word Sirius said and desperately tried to make him get the attention of them.  
'Merlin…they are so pathetique. I mean what can they possible see in him?' Erin said. Well, there is always the way he takes to girl as they are the only one, or his eyes that seem too look through your or perhaps his laughter that was like the voice of a angel.  
'You got me' I said and looked down at the food I was eating. The music had now started to play and all the girls was literally screaming over Sirius. At my table, James had gotten in quite a few honeyduke's butterbeers and was starting to get red. Erin, was moving around in her seat, obviously waiting for someone to ask to dance. Peter was looking nervous by some reason. Remus and I were quiet.  
'Do you want to dance Erin?' Peter asked her. So this was what he was nervous about. How cute!  
'Sure' she said and they went out on the dance floor.  
'So do you wanna dance Becky?' Remus asked me.  
'Remus… mate you can't leave me here all alone." James said  
'You certainly don't look so lonely to me with all those beerbottles' Remus said  
"Sorry Remus, but you know how much I hate dancing" It's a known fact for people who know me that I'm the worst dancer ever to walk on this planet. Everytime I try I break my partner's foot, or crash right into someone else. Mind you, these aren't the worst things that have happened to me while dancing.  
"Oh yeah, I forgot about that…"

As the night arrived the chilly wind did too so I went inside the house to get a cardigan as I passed through the dance floor I noticed that Sirius wasn't there or my sister. Erin and Peter were still dancing, although I've to say that Mary didn't look too thrilled to have Peter as a dance partner. James was in the corner singing drunkenly with Hagrid. The sound that came out I'm going have to erase out of my mind forever.  
I walked into my house and went into my room looking for my white sweater. After finally founding under my bed, where I also had found a old potions book from my second year at Hogwarts. Walking out of my room I heard a giggling sound from Alva's room. Since I've always been a very nosy person (it comes along with having two older sisters' that seem to know everything when I don't) I took a couple steps forward from my door, where Alva's room is visible. If the door was open I was going to be able to see what was happening. Stupidly she had forgot to close her door and I could see her sitting on her bed making with some guy. One of her hand went through his hair and that when I saw the person who my sister was now was sitting on the bed with. Sirius Black. I watched them, frozen where I stood. I had no idea what to think. I wasn't mad at my sister, because how would she possibly know that she was with the guy I had fallen head over heals for? And Sirius, well first of all he was Sirius so this was not unexpected plus he didn't even know I existed. But why did feel the urge to cry as though it was otherwise?  
Instead I took a deep breath, pushing all my emotions away and walked down the stairs to the party. As I sat down Remus watched me curiously.  
"Are you all right Becky?"  
"Yeah I'm fine' But I'm really not. I'm totally messed up. I'm falling for a guy that doesn't know of my existent.

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Pardon my English since it isn't my mother tongue.


	2. The Slytherins' Gift

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. **

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****The Slytherins' gift **

From the compartment I was sharing with Erin I waved to my parents on the 9 ¾ platform. I felt both very thrilled to start a new year and get away from my family for a while, not that I didn't love them but it was nice sometimes to be able to get away but then also a anxious feeling hit me, it was almost my last year and I didn't have one clue what I wanted to do with my life. I've always wished I was one of those person who just…knew. Erin was busy reading a muggle magazine. It was something about a man named Elvis Presley, whoever he was who had been found dead a couple days ago. As I gazed out on the landscape someone opened up the compartment door, it was all of the Marauders who walked in. I couldn't honestly believe that this was happening. Remus sat down next to me, and James sat down next to him. Sirius had in a quick movie sat down besides Erin, whose magazine suddenly didn't seem so interesting anymore as she was chatting with him. Peter was next to Sirius.

"I hope sixth year isn't as hard as everyone says" Peter said

"No. It's going to be worse," James said

"I'm just happy if I can go through it and survive to live" Remus said

"We all know you're going to get top marks in everything Remus. It's Sirius that should worry" James said and Sirius suddenly looked up from his conversation with Erin by the mention of his name.

"About what?"

"No comment" James said and laughed.

"Since this is our sixth year we just have to make our pranks better than ever." Sirius said

"Well, then we have to start now, don't you think?" James said and they smirked at each other." They were up to something and I had no clue what. It seemed like Sirius and James were the only ones who knew since they were the ones exchanging looks.

"I think we should give Regulus and his Slytherin friends a gift"

"Definitely" James answered and they walked out of the compartment together with Peter who followed them. Leaving the compartment to Remus who was rolling eyes, Erin who had quickly started to read the magazine and me. I couldn't help but wonder exactly what they were going to do and what they meant with a " clean gift". All I knew was that it didn't look good for the ones the prank was being played at.

"How they two haven't been expelled yet amazes me" Remus said

"Well…teachers usually just like to put on a punch of rules, and then threaten with punishment. Not a big fan of actually doing the work." I answered.

"Do you remember our last defence against dark arts teacher, Mrs Townshead?"he said

"Remember? Where do you think I got this scar on my elbow for. She is the only teacher to have ever dislike me. I mean, who wouldn't want a student who's quiet and does all the work?"

"She had probably failed in the class "how to behave with humans". So, what do you reckon our next teacher will be like?"

"Well…after Mrs Townshead it can only be better, can't it?" Suddenly the door to the compartment open quality and there James, Sirius and Peter ran in panting loudly. They went back to their seats as we other just watched them in amazement.

"Can you imagine their faces when they'll see what we have done?" Sirius said grinning

"Priceless" James said.

"I know I'll regret this later. But what exactly what were you doing?" Remus asked.

"Well, thank you for asking Remus" James said. "We went to Slytherins' compartment."  
"And put on the cloak" Sirius continued

"As we walked in when they went out to buy from the trolley. We went in" James said

"And then we took all the girls' clothes from their luggage and switched it with the guys" Sirius said. My chin must have been down to the floor. I can't believe that they actually did that. What if the teachers would realise what they've done? Remus seemed to be thinking in the same lines.

"And who's brilliant idea was this?" He asked.

"It was Peter here who came up with the idea" Sirius said as he gave Peter a clap on the back.

"I see" Remus said and made a murming sound, which sound much like "idiots".

During the rest trip I mostly read, not joining in the conversation. Every now and then a girl or group of girls would walk in our compartment and started to talk, or…drool is more of the right term because of Sirius. It was easy to see he liked the attention they gave him. He was even nice to a third year Hufflepuff who walked into the compartment, stood there blushing for a long time as she watched Sirius. When he asked her what her name was she ran away red as a tomato in her face.

Even though I was reading I could hear someone waking angrily in the hall. I looked through the window see Lily, she was probably one of the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She had dark red hair and beautiful green almond shaped eyes. It was easy to see how James could never let her go. She may not know it but those two are meant to be. Such a perfect love story they would make. Lily, the stubborn girl who the popular Qudditch guy falls over heels for. The guy asking her out, and she's rejecting him. Not a usual thing for him since he gets everything he wants. Thinking about it they are both stubborn as a donkey. It's a donkey match in heaven. James seemed to notice her too as he ran out.

"Pumpkin!" he said. She glared at him.

"So how has your summer been? Been thinking of me? Because I've thought about you every day"

"First of all, don't call me pumkin, it's a stupid nickname and I'm not you pumkin. And I know. I got the letters you sent me. Every day. Can you just please leave me alone now?"

"What's the matter darling?"  
"Argh" Lily said as she walked away from him.

I didn't actually say much for the whole trip…I actually don't think I said anything at all. I just don't think anything of what I said would intressted anyone, no not at all when I think about it. As everyone one got dressed in their school uniform I realised something when Helena decided not to button the buttons she usually did and her skirt was way shorter than it was meant to be. Helena was totally flirting with Sirius! First I thought it was because she didn't want to tell him to shut up. And I could tell by the look on Sirius face that he didn't exactly have anything against it. Not that I didn't think he would. I actually didn't care, there is no way I would actually have a chance with Sirius and Helena didn't know how I felt about Sirius…if I even felt something for a person I've never talked to.

As we got of the train I pulled Helena to the side.

"Do you like Sirius?"

"Is it that obvious?" She said and put on some lip gloss. This was so not the Helena that I shared secrets with and was silly with. She had changed. A lot. Or perhaps it could be me that had changed?

"I thought you didn't like him" I asked her.

"Well…you know people change" You don't say. I gave her an angry gaze.

"You don't get it do you? He needs someone that will control him, and which who he will love. It's a known fact that he has never committed to a real relationship. But with me, it's different" Helena said. WOW, was she really saying this? She had to be thicker than I thought. I may have a huge crush on Sirius but I know there's no way to change that guy. He's only going to hurt her.

"Do you seriously want to do this? Getting involve with Sirius is the perfect way to get a broken heart"

"WHY can't you just be happy for me?" She screamed at me and I took a couple steps back. I stood there watching her comptelety numb.

"Just because that you have never had a boyfriend doesn't mean other people can" She said and walked away pomporius to where Sirius was standing ( luckily not in the near range of me). Merlin, my best friend was a total bitch. I can't belive she had just said that. I was only trying to protect her. We had always had a very weird relationship and we often fought. That's how I had found Remus but sometime told me that this time wasn't like the other times. As I got on the carriage without anything that lead me to Hogwarts I sat together with a couple of Rawenclaws all I could think about was how lucky I was that Helena wasn't in the same house as me. As the Hogwarts castle came closer and closer I wondered what this year was going to be like.

After eating in the beautiful Great Hall I went straight up to the painting with the fat lady.

"Password please"

"Oh" I had totally forgot that I needed to ask the Head boy, Headgirl or one of the prefects for the password. As I waited as I was starting to fell a bit bad after eating all that food. This was my sixth year still I never seemed to remember not to eat too much on the arrival day. A headboy, Gavin Hill walked up the stairs with almost the whole Gryffindor house.

"How was your summer" He asked me

"Boring. And yours?"

"Really good actually" he said. Can't he just get on with it and open the freaking door?

"Choclate frogs"he said and the painting with the fat lady opened the way to the Gryffindor. So that was the password, easy enough, We walked in, and I was a bit smashed down by everyone running everywhere. If there is one thing I truly hate it's small areas with a large amount of people. It always made me fill uncomfortable. The common room was my favourite place in the whole castle. It was just something calm and warm over it and was for me holy. But when it was filled with people and therefore noise I couldn't handle it. As most people were standing in the common room I decided to go to my dormitory.

As I had started to pack up, but it was mostly laying on my bed reading when Lily walked in. She looked upset.

"Hey Becky"

'Hi Lily" I watched as she sat down next to the bed to me and buried her face in the pillow. I could hear her make strange noises. I wasn't sure what to do? Would she think it would be weird if I asked her what was going on? I whispered the words, "how are you" to myself. I've this thing that I've to say something quietly before saying it.

"Are you all right Lily?"I asked her and she looked up from her pillow. I could see her face coverd with mascara that was smudge all over the face and her eyes were teary.

"It's….silly really" She said and I waited for her to continue.

"Snape and I had a really big fight…" Wow, looks like my friendship wasn't the only one that hadn't been broken tonight. I stepped out of my bed and sat down next to her. I don't know why really I did it, but it felt like the right thing to do.

"It's not silly. People fight all the time and say things they don't mean. But it's normal to get upset" She looked at me, her eyes still full of tears.

"It's…well okay don't tell anyone this, right? But he's planning to recruit to Voldermort. You've heard about him right?" She asked me. It was not hard not to know who he was since he was written in the newspaper the whole summer. The thought of him me made me wanna just crawl into a little baby. But surely he wasn't as horrible as they said. And we have aurors. Lots of them. It will be all right.

"Yes, I've heard about him"

"So I told him how bad Voldermort is and he's stupid. I mean, even Potter wouldn't do that"I looked at her.

After a moment of silence, I decided to go back to my bed to read.

"Thank you Beck" I had to admit that I liked how she used a nickname on me. It made me feel like we were friends.

"What for?"

"For listening to me and making me feel better" I didn't know what to say. She was actually insinuating that I had done something right…and it really boosted my confident hearing her say this.

Alice, Mary and Dorcas Meadows walked in and when straight to Lily's bed where they all started gossiping. I continued my packing up and I could see Lily looking at me several times.

"Hey, Beck do you want to come here and talk to us?" She smiled and asked. I thought for a moment.

"I'm going to have to do my packing first" I lied. I was tired after the trip, packing up and eating. I just didn't feel like talking, I would just sit there saying nothing and I couldn't be bothered to do that. I slowly began packing, making it take longer then I wanted it to. It was mostly books I had in my bag. The lesson started tomorrow and I was starting to panic about all the work that lay ahead of me. Was all this studying ever going to be worth it I wondered. I've always loved getting "O" but it was just so much working getting there. For me the most difficult part was speaking up in lessons. I never did. I was just terrified that I would end up saying the wrong thing and everyone would laugh at me. I decided to give Lily and the girls a try. I mean, they might not care that I'm boring and perhaps they can make me talk. I looked around to see that all of the girl's had fallen asleep on Lily's bed. I smirked as I put on my pyjamas and went to bed. Maybe some other time I would talk to them bit right now I was going to sleep.

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Thanks for everyone who put the story on their story alert list =)

Hope you all enjoy reading this story so far. And soon there'll be some Sirius/Becky action ; )


	3. Late Night Talk

The first days of school had past, surprisingly fast. I was usually with Remus or Lily and until now I never really felt as though I had fitted in Gryffindor house together with all the others but the last days had proven that to be wrong and I had felt more welcome than I ever thought I would at Hogwarts. Sure, it hurt that me and Erin had lost all contact and that she barely even looked at me nowadays but I had also realised how bad she had been towards me when we used to be together. She was now with the 'Clones'. Which consists of Tess Johns, the blonde chick everyone there copied. And the clones were Bianca Stevens, Nelly Ripe and the newest of the crew, Erin. It was weird that the girl that I had been spending so much time with was now one of the people that we used to make fun of but it felt as though she had been together with them all along and that we had never been friends or that we had been friends many years ago in a different world. Meanwhile just after two days at school James and Sirius had gotten their first detention by tricking the first years that the vampires would at night come into the dormitory and see if there was anyone fresh blood the story continued that many first years had never been the same after their first nights at Hogwarts, they're like dead bodies just walking around.

It was dinner and I was sitting between Lily and Mary in the Great Hall at the Gryffindor tables'. The teacher started from time to time to us students around the hall to see if any mischief had been done, I grabbed some chicken wings and roasted potatoes.

"Lily I just can't. Frank and I are best friends, I know he doesn't look at me as anything other. And besides, if I say that I'm in love with him then he's just going to think I'm crazy or if we do get together what will happen if we broke up? I would lose one of my best friends" Alice said, looking around to make sure Frank couldn't hear what she was saying and shook her head so hard that her short brown hair looked all messed up after.

"Alice, trust me I know Frank sees you as way more then a friend"

"What do you think?" Alice asked her eyes looked into mine. I didn't realise she was talking to me at first until Lily discretely and soft pushed her elbow in my stomach.

"Me? Well, why don't you try to make him jealous and get a boyfriend or something" I suggested as I took bit of the chicken.

"That is genius" Dorcas said.

"I like this idea" Mary said with a grin.

"Perfect" Alice said

"Who knew you could be so mischievous Beck" Lily said with a smile

"I just need to figure out which guy to make Frank jealous with"

"Oh, what about…Tomas in Rawenclaw?" Mary asked

"Too boring, I need someone that will make Frank jealous and who isn't going to be hurt that I used him"

"How about...Remus?" Dorcas suggested. I almost choked on my food, just the idea of someone flirting with Remus was hilarious because he would not realise that someone was actually flirting with him.

"It wouldn't work. Remus and Frank are friends so Frank would go all ballistic on Remus who doesn't deserve it. How about Alex in Hufflepuff? I mean he is the captain, has good looks and he does seem to forget about girls rather fast" Lily said.

"We've hit the jackpot!" Alice said smiling.

"Becks are you going to Hogsmeade trip about a couple weeks with anyone?" Lily asked.

"No?" I asked confused.

"Good because we're all going to the Three Broomsticks and you've no choice but to come" She said. It was ridiculous how happy this made me that she has asked me to come along.

"I got to work on the Potions essay, sorry" I answered, and this was true. My worst subject was Potions so I needed to spend a lot of time on the essay I just didn't have time to take a Saturday off.

"Please, the essay isn't due about one week after that. I'll help you if you need" Lily said making a very cute pair of puppy eyes.

"Yeah, come with use Becky." Alice said

"Otherwise we will haunt you in your sleep?" Dorcas said

"You have no choice" Mary said. I was amazed that how much they wanted me to come. I know I am boring and people usually thought so too and didn't look at me other than the shy bookworm.

"Okay I'll go to Hogsmeade with you guys" I said with a smile. How could I refuse?

Later on in the night I couldn't fall asleep. It was like my whole body was full of energy and every time I couldn't lay still. I decided to go down to the common room to read a book, after that I might be able to go to sleep. I didn't want to wake up the girls by turning the light on. In my white pyjamas I grabbed the book, I decided for "Emma" by Jane Austin. One of my favourite book, it's just so perfect when Emma and Mr Knightley finally gets together.. As I walked down the stairs it was pitch dark but as I got closer to the common room I realised that the light was on and someone was there. My heart beat felt as it has just beaten 100 heartbeats in one second when I saw who it was. It was Sirius Black. As in the guy I've had crush on, sitting right in front of me. I couldn't do this. He was the only one there and I just couldn't handle it, meeting him or talking to him. I liked it what It was now, impossible and just in my dreams. I might as well try to get some sleep. I began walking up the stairs again but because it was so dark I didn't see exactly where I was going and before I knew I had fallen down the stairs. So much for being discreet. Sirius had turn around and as soon he realised what exactly had happen ( the me falling down part) and started to laugh. Merlin I had just made a fool of myself in front of Sirius Black. I groaned as I picked up my book and started to walk up again. Try not to fall this time I thought for myself. Suddenly someone was behind me and I turned around.

"Sorry I laughed, I just…needed a laugh" he said as I stood there, and I probably should have been either 1) going completely mad over him laughing and then saying that he just needed a laugh when he's one of the biggest pranker in the school and laughs 24/7 or 2) Gone ecstatic and try to flirt with him. I felt none of these things I was just amazed he had talked to me; I couldn't care less what he was saying. I gave him a weak smile and continued up.

"So, are you transfer student or something? I've never seen you around here and you're way to old to be in first year" Wow, this was how invincible I was for him. He actually thought I was a transfer student.

"This…uhm, is my..uhm, sixth year" Wow, I've actually managed to sound stupider than I thought was ever possible to be. The word just didn't seem to come out of my mouth.

"Really? Well, then we should get to know each other" He said and smiled. How bored can he be? Not that I had anything against getting to know him – the opposite but I couldn't help but to feel a bit suspicious. He took out his hand.

"Sirius Black"

"I…know. I'm Becky Thompson" Did my voice actually have to sound this shaky? Why can't I've a lovely sweet voice like Lily or Alice had.

"So, why don't we go down and have a chat? If you weren't intending to go down and up again I mean?" he said with a grin.

"I can talk" I said in a low voice. It was just so surreal, everything and I wondered if this wasn't a dream.

"Great" He said and we walked down and he sat down in the couch. Slowly and very awkwardly I sat down next to him.

"So, Becky tell me a bit about you family" He asked and his gray eyes looked into mine. Wow, they were the most stunning colour of gray I've ever seen. I only seen them at distance and when he turned around I always let my eyes go down to the floor.

"I've to older sisters and my parents. I…have a big family, you?" I asked. I was proud I had gotten out that sentence out of my mouth

"Well, I've a little brother and my parents. All of them hate me, and I hate them because I'm the only in the family that has ever been in another house the Slytherin. They loathed me before I went to Hogwarts and now they pretend I don't exist because I don't have a pride over our pure blood family" I hadn't been prepared for that answer. I couldn't do but anything to fell a bit jealous that he could sit here and say his own thought while I just rambled on.

"Family doesn't always know best" I said 'Family doesn't know best?' Wow. I think I'm getting stupider by the minute.

"No they don't" He said with a smile

The rest of the night, or well morning we talked or to be fair it was much more Sirius who talked while I said a few sentences sometimes. It all felt so surreal, this thing doesn't happen to me. This is the things that happens in books. Every word I said I was afraid I was going to say the wrong thing. It was weird though, one part of me just wanted to disappear and be invincible and another one wanted nothing else but to stay.

Days after I was still in an "awe" moment after the night. Many had been asking me why I suddenly was in such a bright mood and smiling every minute of the day. I just smiled more in reply saying nothing about what happen. It was just something I wanted to keep for myself.

I was walking along the old corridors with Lily during lunch break and we're chatting as we turned in a corner where two people were making out. One with brown hair and one with dark brown hair.

"Merlin, why don't these people just get a room" Lily muttered.

"Because then what would we gossip about?" I said putting on a ridiculous sweet and innocent voice . Lily laughed as we walked closer to the couple making out.

"Got a point there…oh wow no surprises there it's Sirius with some girl" Lily said and I started now at the persons making out. She was right. It was Sirius and….ERIN? Not that it should come as any surprise for me that they had a connection in the train but seeing them make out was just…absurd. It was funny actually, how Sirius seemed to now have made out with every girl I know except for me.

"Disgusting Black" Lily said as we walked passed.

"There will come a point when I will see you and James doing this Lily so get used to it" He said putting on a smile

"Very funny" Lily said as we walked away from them. Not far away she made a quick movement and her things fell on the floor.

"Perfect" She said and bend down. I bent down to help her. I could here someone walking near us.

"Well, hello love" A voice said behind me. It was Sirius looking at me. Even I, who was probably worse at realsing someone flirting with me than Remus realised that love meant me. My cheeks turned a brighter red colour than Lily's hair.

"…h…i" Gee, was I really this pathetique. Luckily Lily had fixed all her things and put it in her bag.

"Sirius why don't you just go and bother someone else will you, like I don't know the girl that you were just sticking your face into" She said.

"Well, the girl name is Erin and she had to leave. Therefore I'm going to bother you" He said. Lily grabbed my hand.

"C'mon let's go and leave this pathetique excuse for a man alone"

"Hey, I heard that" he shouted as we had started to walk.

"WELL, that was kind of the point"

* * *

This chapter feels so wrong, I didn't get the emotions I wanted and gah. Ah well. It's totally diffrent from the plot I was planning to do at first but I think this is a better one actually. The other one was really really cliche. Not that this was a cliche as well..but not as much xD

This is as fast I could possibly write it, had a lot of studying to do this week or well I always have a lot of studying to do. A tip; Don't do the IB study if you aren't like Hermione xD

First of all, THANKSSSS to everyone who has reviewed, put this story on their favorite list, alert list and to everyone who has read!

I really would love to know what all of you think of the story so far, it would mean a lot!

Firecat8: Thank you so much first of all for reviewing. That is so cool that Becky is like you =D I've actually based her on myself :)


	4. Up's and Down's Of Life

I don't how I do it. How I can just look at Sirius being with Erin. They were the latest gossip and everywhere I went I heard people talking about it or I saw them at dinner, lessons or just corridors in general have intimate moments together. I was tired off people all around me hooking up with him and it not being me. But then again, why did I want to be that girl? It was Sirius Black for crying out loud, it couldn't end up other than that he would break my heart. I'm starting to believe I'm a masochists or something. It felt as though the talk with Sirius had just been imaginary.

It was the time for the first Defence Against Dark Arts meeting. The tension was in the air as all of us Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs were waiting for Mr Clark to come into the classroom. Even the Marauders had shown up early, or well they were probably just excited as they as usual tested every new teacher. What we heard of all the other students he seemed to be a good teacher who knew what he was doing but also very demanding of his students. In my thoughts I didn't even notice him walking in to class with a surprised but delighted smile on his face. He had dark skin, very short dark brown hair and brown eyes. He was if I had to say it myself, good looking for his age. EUW. I can't believe I just thought that. He's a teacher for crying out loud.

"Hello sixth years. I'm your new Defence Against Art Teacher Mr Clark. Today I w-" He started and then saw Sirius hand waving. "What is it Mr - ?"

"Black. And I was wondering if I could go to the bathroom" So the test was starting now. Mr Clark glared at him, looking almost as he was about to laugh.

"Is this a joke?"  
"No. I just really need to go"

"Well, you may not go, I'm in the middle of instructions here. I'll let you go when we're practicing if you have to." Wow. That answer was perfect, that had to be passed on that one. The lesson continued with Mr Clark explaining the danger with different kinds of spells to protect and use when in combat. Peter began talking loudly with James about the next qudditch game. Mr Clark suddenly stopped talking.

"You're Mr Potter and Mr Pettigrew I presume? Unless you feel like you have some information you want to share with the rest of the group about this subject then I suggest you'll listen" The guys went quiet. "Good" he said and continued to talk. I have to say I really liked this guy. He could even make the Marauders quiet, only something that McGonagall could manage occasionally.

"Now we can start practising. I want to see what you got so I'm getting you into groups of two. I will trust you to split into groups by yourself" He said and immediately everyone started to divide into groups. I really hated group work, I never had someone to be and it was just embarrassing having to ask. It was just easier if the teacher made the groups instead of a poor girl left out side. Suddenly Dorcas was standing I front of me. Her red glasses matched the colours of Gryffindor.

"Becky, do you want to work together?" She asked

"Sure" I answered. I was speechless. This was the first time someone had ask me to be in the same group.

We started to duel. I've never been good at attacking spells, but I've to admit that I'm quite good at defending. This Mr Clark saw.

"Extraordinary work Ms - ?"

"Thompson" I answerd. Sirius and James who were in the same group had ran to his desk where they put a note on the desk and then went back to duelling. I had no idea what the note would say but whatever it was, it was not something along the lines "I'm sorry" or something like that.

"Okey, let's get back to our seats now" He said and everyone sat down, the Maruders where almost jumping out of you. Mr Clark moved to his bench and saw the note. His was completely stunned and he stood still as he started to laugh.

"Who wrote this?" He said and showed the note. In scruffy handwriting the words "I love you" could be read. Everyone in the class started to laugh.

"If I see something like this another time you'll get punished. In two weeks I want a 6 minutes presentation from all of you about the three deadly curses." NO NO NO NO , if he thinks I'm going to speech in front of the whole class he got another thing coming. There was a loud groan from everyone.

"You may be dismissed" He said and everyone walked out. I stood left in the classroom and walked to his desk.

"Mr Clark…do you think it's possible for me not to have the presentation in front of the whole class?" I asked knowing that the answer would be no.

"You don't like speaking in public?" he asked busy as he was organising his papers.

"No"I said and he looked at me.

"I'm really sorry, and trust me I would not have anything against you no speaking in front of the class . The thing is tough; if I make an exception for you I'm going to make a exception for everyone else." He said.

"Of course" I said and walked out. I felt like disappearing from the face of the earth. Just the thought of speaking in front of the class terrified me. Everyone was going to look at me and analyze everything I said. Why couldn't I just be as one of those person with confidence enough to speak in front of a class without worrying what everyone thinks.

Someone was trying to wake me up. I groaned, I wanted to stay in my sleep and it was a Saturday! I opened my eyes. It was Lily's green eyes that looked back at me.

"About time drowsy head, the trip to Hogsmeade is today and there's only half an hour before we leave. Meet us in the Great Hall after you ready so we can eat breakfast?" She said and I nodded. The four girls left and I reluctantly got up. Why had I agreed to this? I thought for myself as I picked up a pair of jeans, a blue t-shirt and a long knitted black cardigan. Tiredsome I walked to the Great Hall.

Lily looked so happy and hyper I wondered if she had been slipping in something in her morning coffee, Alice was really excited she looked really cute today with a alice band in her light brown hair, Mary was calm as always she always stood out the girls in her blonde hair and blue eyes and Dorcas also seemed a bit tired like me her black long hair was pony tail. when I sat down next to them at the Gryffindor table. There weren't a lot of people left in the Great Hall, many had already eaten or some like the "plastic" never ate breakfast. It was hard for me to get through the breakfast, I just wanted to get this day over with I really didn't feel like going.

After the breakfast all us students from year three to seventh gathered outside where Mrs McGonagall stood. As usually in a tight hair do and in a serious face.

"I hope you all understand what a great privilege you've that can be outside Hogwarts. We trust you all to know that you aren't allowed to buy out for the other students AND you're NOT allowed to duel" She said and looked at Sirius, James, Peter and Snape. "Any questions?" she asked. James raised his hands.

"What about figthting?" McGonagall glared at him and decided to ignore him.

"Any other questions?" She asked. This time Sirius raised his hands.

"What is it Mr Black?"

"Can't we just go now?"

"No questions? Good then we can all go now" .

I had always loved the quiet moments at Hogwarts when the others went to Hogsmeade more than the trip itself and so I forgotten just how cosy and warm Hogsmeade was. Students walking happily through the streets, music hearing loudly and the smell that came from The Three Broomsticks. I was still surprised that that they had asked me to join them, they had never asked me before and in my mind I wonderd if this was all a big set up.

"I'm sorry guys but I'm going to go with Snape. I meet you in The Three Broomsticks later, okay?" Lily said and left with her dark red hair swishing as she left. I guess Lily and Snape weren't fighting anymore. I was glad that Snape actually had someone to be with that could make him smile, it was easy to see that every time he saw Lily it was like a light appeared in his eyes.

"So where should we start?" Mary asked

"Maybe Honeyduke's?" Dorcas suggested.

"Perfect" Alice said.

We walked into the candy store. It was probably the most uplifting and crowded store in Hogsmeade. It was just such a lovely atmosphere with people laughing and the brightness was everywhere. The first time you walk in it totally stuns you with all the different sorts of candy and the smell is just wonderful. I decided to get some Chocoballs and Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, both of them were my favourites together with the liquorice wands. I walked out waiting for the girls to come out when Remus appeard.

"Hi Remus. How are you? I asked.

"Hi. I'm good. You?"

"Good"

"Do you think they would mind if they steal you?" He asked with a smile.

"No?" I answerd confused. "Good" He said as he took my hand and lead me through the main street of Hogsmeade.

"Remus, wher are we going?" I asked. He didn't answer me back. After a while he stopped and I realised where we were.

"Why are we at the shrieking shack?"

"Because, you're one of my best friends and I haven't spoken to you alone for a long time" He said and gave a smile. That he considered me as one of his best friends made me feel god about myself. I smiled back

"Let's start talking then shall we?" I said.

As it started to get darker we decided to go to the Three Broomsticks and meet the others. I wasn't a big fan of the Three Broomsticks, it was too crowded and too loud. As we walked in I saw Dorcas, Alice, Mary, Lily, James, Peter, Sirius and….Erin. Crap. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't brave enough to actually sit next to Erin. Especially when Sirius was right next to her.

"You know I just remembered I need to start writing my Defence Against Dark Arts speech. See you Remus" I said and ran out.

I walked the usual way back to the castle alone. The chill was colder than ever. Suddenly I heard steps behind me, I didn't think of it to much.

"Going back this soon?" A cold voice that I recognized fast, It was Tess staring at me with a grin. Her green eyes looked into me.

"She probably misses her books. The only thing that will ever love her" Bianca said. I pushed out the thoughts I head about calling them every bad world under the sun and giving them a taste of their own medicine.

"Look she is trying the ignore thing. How original. Not" Nelly said. AS if she knew anything about being original. My steps grew faster and longer, and so did theirs. I thought for my self, only 10 minutes left. Only 10 minutes. Couldn't a teacher come soon? This was so the time.

By some miracle I managed to get to Hogwarts without taking out my wand or punching them.

The rest of the week didn't get better, every moment they had Nelly, Bianca, Tess and Erin shouted out things about me as I walked past them, or they simply stood and talked looking and pointing at me and they also spread a lot of rumors. They drowned every feeling I ever had and more than every now I turned to the books and shelled myself. I know that getting back at them would get worse so I held my tongue. I worked as an robot basically.

It was dinner and I sat at the Gryffindor table reading while eating. If life was just as in the books. Tess, Erin, Nelly and Bianca were walking towards me or Sirius who was sitting beside me. Erin sat down in Sirius lap.

"Are you really sure you should eat that much Becky. I mean you have always been a bit on the chubby side but I'm starting to worry" Erin said and the girls laughed. My whole body bubbled up. Why me? Why me of all the people?

"Don't you have any self-containment?" Nelly said

"It's obvious she don't" Bianca said.

"The only boy who –" Tess started but stopped when I raised up from my chair she stopped. Sirius was watching me, and so did everyone else in the whole hall. Tears started to burn down my cheeks and I ran out stopping at the staircase to sit down at the side. I knew everyone could see me but I just needed to calm down. Then one of the people I never excepted sat down next to me.

"Don't worry about them love they're just a bunch of stupid girls" Sirius said. He smelt like a mixture of grass and jasmine. It felt as though I couldn't breathe anymore. The tears slowly stopped pouring down my cheeks that were turning red again to the world love.

"I mean if Tess jumped off a cliff the others would follow without blinking. Rawenclaw my ass" He said. I gave a weak smile. "They are pure Slytherins"

"You do realize of them is your girlfriend?" I said after a while.

"Do you really think I would want a girlfriend who treats people like that?"  
"Do you really want me to answer that question?" He laughed. I couldn't believe I just attempted a joke.

"Maybe not" He answered. "Now go to the bathroom and get yourself cleaned. You look like a mess". It was just so easy to follow his instructions and that what was I did.

* * *

Thank you so much for everyone who has reviewed! It just makes my day.

Okay so I've done a drawn a pic of Becky you can see it here if you want xD .?photoID=23105515&prev And as said I'm going to upload a better qualitiy pic soon xD

And also, I'm not going to be able to write until about 2 weeks. Just so you know.


	5. You Were Here All The Time

**Sirius POV **

"Erin, it just isn't working. Us" I said and looked her in her blue eyes. We were standing in the hallway. Her eyes became more watery for every second.

"Sirius just give me another chance. I know we can work it out" In a way it amazed me, girls practically stood in line for me even though they knew I would dump them eventually. I took her hand.

"Erin, listen to me. We just don't work out as a couple. It's not your fault, okay?" That was not 100% true since the a part of the reason or well the main reason is that she was picking on Becky. Becky who is completely innocent, quiet and hasn't done a thing to Erin. That's just low. Especially when you know that Becky is just the kind of person to get heartbroken by something like that but haven't got the guts to stand up for herself. Wow, for not knowing much about Becky I seemed to know a lot about her.

"Sirius! " Erin shouted at me.  
"What?"

"Will you?"

"Will you what?"

"Will you give me another chance" Merlin, not this again. I guess being nice just didn't cut it for this one.

"Here's the thing, I'm breaking up with you. Just trust me that this is the right choice" I said. She was crying now. I don't like it when people cry, it makes everything so awkward and uncomfortable. I hugged her until finally the lesson started,

This has to go down in history books because I'm in the library. It feels weird being here. But I couldn't convince Remus to do my homework. I figured I can find some Rawenclaw girl to do it for me.

I got my eyes on a Rawenclaw girl with black big hair and decided to go and ask her. As I walked to her my eyes looked around the room and I saw Remus chatting with Becky. What? When did this happen. I decided not to ask the Rawenclaw to do it and I sat down at the table pretending I worked as I watched Remus and Becky. When Becky went I walked to Remus.

"You know Becky?" I asked. He looked at me.

"Yes? I've known her since second year"

"Really? Is she always so shy?" I asked

"Please don't say that you – who knows the name and face of every girl at Hogwarts hadn't noticed her until just recent" He said as he ignored my question.

"Maybe…" I said.

"So you mean you didn't notice her all these years? Or at her sister's wedding that we were on this summer? Or on the train ride here to Hogwarts where she was in the same compartment?" Hang on, I remember the wedding clearly because I hooked up with a really hot girl there who was sister to the bride but I never saw Becky and I know that she wasn't there on the train ride, I think.

"Does Becky have two sisters and one of them is long, blonde and has a French accent?" I asked.

"Yes"  
"Are you sure she was at the wedding?"

"I know she was at the wedding"  
"And the train ride, you're 100 % sure she was there?"

"Yes, but you obviously was to busy flirting with her then best friend" Another surprise.

"Becky and Erin was best friend?" I already knew the answer.

"You know this is starting to become a very sad conversation" How can I not notice a girl right in front of me? I wonder if she noticed me.

"Knight to E4" James said. We're sitting in Gryffindor's common room playing chess. The whole room was crowded. I loved it most like that. It was just hard to think and you only concentrated on what you did. Peter and Remus was sitting on the couch as I played wizard chess with James in front of the fireplace.

"Bishop to Y7"

"King to S8. Check Mate" James said with a grin on his face.  
"I'm bored" I said

"No no no. Sirius you can't leave while we're playing I'm winning"

"Yeah, so?"

"SO, why do we always do what you want. I'm tired of it. I'm NOT your bitch" People around us looked as though we had been in a heated argument.

"You know you're my bitch"  
" What should we do?" James said  
"The possibilities are endless, we can go down to the kitchen and make them give us some beer and food? We can try and find Evans for you so that you will be rejected once again. We can come up with a prank for Sirius"

"Or you can study" Remus said who sat in the coach doing homework.

"Homework?" James said despise in his voice.

"Remus…how dare you?" I said

"He…said….study…"James stammerd.

"We need to run from this mad man" I said and we quikly ran off away from Remus who had shrouded his shoulders and went back to studying.

As we ran around the common room, with nothing better to do James – by accident of course crashed into Lily.

"Lily, how lovely to see you"James said and bowed.

"Pleasure as always" I said. She gave an angry glare.

"You're eyes light up my day. Your hair is red as my heart. Every time I see you I get lost for worlds. Your lips are as soft as velvet. Meet me Friday night at midnight on the qudditch pitch" James said in a sing song voice. I was close to break out in laughter because that was the worst poetry ever.

"First of all, that was the worst poetry I've ever heard. Second, the heart isn't red and third and lastly I will NOT go out with you for the one hundred million time"

"Actually this is one hundred ninty thousand time I believe" I said.

"Whatever. Just go" As we walked away, because even James knew that being longer would make Lily jump up her chair, tie him to a bed and leave him, oh he wouldn't actually mind being tied upto a bed. We went back to Remus and Peter.

"So you decided to come back to the mad man…everyone always does" Remus said with a smile.

"Yeah yeah yeah" I said. James suddenly jumped up and down.

"Eh…James you're jumping up and down. You're not a bunny even though you appear to think so"

"I just had a genius idea"  
"What?" Peter asked

"I'm getting to that part now, thank you very much. What haven't we done in a while?" Uh, he needed us to think. How dreadful.

"Skipped classes?"  
" No"  
"Drew whiskers on Peter while he's sleeping?"  
"HEY"  
"Sorry Peter but it's just...hilarious"

"No that isn't it"James said  
"Charm the food of the teachers?"  
"No" James said, now annoyed.

"I GOT IT. Put bras on and dress up as girls and go to the girl's bathroom!"

"WHAT? When have we ever done that Sirius?! You suck at guessing"  
"Just tell us James" Remus said

"We haven't had a Party!"

"You know that is so true"  
"I know"  
"We need a party. A big one. And we need to plan it soon"

The next days we all planned for the big party. We decided to have it in the weekend. I just knew that this party was going to be great and a lot of fun.

It was lunch break and since Remus was in the library studying, James played Quidditch and Peter needed to send a letter to his parents I was all alone. Me, Sirius Black. It was killing me. I couldn't find anyone inside the castle so I decided to walk out to the courtyard, within two minutes a group of girls had came and started to talk to me.

"What music do you like?"

"You look really good in that hair style"  
"What is your favourite colour?"

"It's…"I saw Becky sitting alone in the corner of the courtyard.  
"Sorry girls, but I've to leave you" I said and they gave a questiong glare at me. I walked to Becky and sat down as she gave a surprised face expression.

"Hello love" I said and she blushed. Her blushing was the cutest thing I've have seen she turned the same colour as a tomato. It was just fun to see how every time I said love she always blushed like that.

"Hi…" She said timidly. I don't think I can ever understand that a person could be so timid. In a way it was quiet annoying. But there was something special about her. I couldn't but the world on it. I could just speak to her in a way I couldn't with any other girl. First time I meet her I told her about my family, something that I rarely speak of. Very rarely. It felt as though she listened, and I really needed someone like that that night because I just found out that Regalus had started to think about recruiting Voldermort. She's like James, Remus and Peter. A good friend.

"Have you heard about the party this weekend?" I asked and she nodded but something told me she wouldn't be there.

"So what are you doing?" I asked her as I saw her notebook.

"It's for the defence against dark arts presentation"

"Oh yeah that thing. I'm just going to make up something as I stand there"

"How can you do that? For me it's hard as it is just talking in front of that class. And I would me even more nervous…if that is possible if I didn't know what to say" Wow, improvement of the speak.

"If you want to you can say the presentation to me. Might make you fell better when you're in the class" Her hazel eyes looked back at me and she bit her lip a bit.

"Do you really want to?"  
"Of course I want to my love" I said and laughed as she went tomato again.

* * *

I could update sooner than I thought becauce I'm completley snowed in here in London. Big chaos. Nearly none of the tube lines work and there are no buses. And food in the stores are running out of food because they haven't got there supplies xD And NO SCHOOL!!!. YaY! So that's what I've been doing to keep myself entertained, except from snowball fight with my brother xD Funny actually, I just visited my home country Sweden this weekend ( which is known for it's snow ) and now when I got back it's just covered here, I've lived here for 5 years and it has never been this much snow ;P

Anyways, as you might understood I made this is Sirius POV. This is because I just felt I needed to give you answers to questions like: what does Sirius think of Becky and so on. It's shorter than my other chapters but I just got stuck and couldn't figure out what more to write xD

The link of the picture I drew of Becky didn't seem to work last time so I'm linking it once more for those of you who want to see. And since I don't have any scanner the picture isn't the best. If this doesn't work I will just link the link on my profile. xD

.

And I just thought I should make some clearifactions. Becuase I seem to have written Becky's sister Anna husband with two names, Alexander and Edward. His name is really Alexander. And I also wrote Becky's name with two descripitions in the first chapter. Long and light brown and also as dark. Her hair is really long with a choclate brown. I just love the name choclate brown XD

Thank all you for reading and than you so much firecat8 who has written many warming and kind reviews!=D


	6. Trouble

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER**

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My eyes were fixated on the sheet in front of me. Mary's words disappeared into air as she was standing infront of the class holding her presentation in the Dark Arts Class. My whole body shook. I looked at the clock on the wall and I knew there would be time for everyone to do their presentation this lesson since many already had done theirs the last lesson. Mr Clark had agreed for me to do is later with the others who hadn't been able to do it last time. I wanted to sink through the ground and disappear. I hadn't noticed that Mary had finished her presentation.

"Very good Ms Macdonald" Professor Clark said from his desk in the corner.  
"I believe it's your turn now Ms Thompson" He said and looked straight at me. Please let me wake up from this awful nightmare.

"Actually…I'm not feeling to feel. I think I've to go to the Hospital wing" I said, and crossed fingers that it would work. He gave me an gaze that said i-know-you-don't-wanna-do-this-but-you're-doing-it-sooner-or-later and I sighed and as I took my note as I walked through the desks of students. It was the walk of death for me and I felt how everyone looked at me. I was amazed I had been able to walk in front of the class as my legs felt as spaghetti and would split. I held my paper, which was impossible for me to read since my hand shook so much. I looked down at the floor.

"I'm holding a presentation about …uhm…uhm" Everything had gone blank in my head. I just wanted to run away from here.

"It's…about…" I panicked, I couldn't even remember what I was talking about. I looked through the classroom and faced the eyes of the class. They all looked bored, had they really been this bored when the others talked?. Suddenly my eyes fell on Sirius. Sirius, whose gray eyes were look straight at me. He mouthed something. I suddenley recalled having the presentation in front of Sirius and little by little it all came back to me.

"The Crucio course, which is one of the three forbidden courses" My hand wasn't shaking anymore and my legs no longer felt as spaghetti.

The rest of the presentation went well, every time I forgot what to say I looked at Sirius and remembered. It was still a relief to go off and sit in the comfort of the chair. Lily, Mary, Dorcas, Alice, Remus and James all gave my thumbs up. Sirius gave a big smile. There was only one person left after my presentation and I couldn't concentrate on that presentation either. I was just to happy I had made it through mine.

"That's all presentations. Class dismissed" Mr Clark said as I was packing my books down in my bag. I didn't notice Mr Clark walking up to me.  
"That was excellent Becky. You had nothing to be worried about" he said and smiled as he walked away. I walked out the classroom, a bit shaky not actually believing what had happened. I felt as if I could do almost anything I wanted.

It was the following Saturday night and loud music could be heard from the bed in my dormitory. I lay on my bed reading Romeo and Juliet for about the twentieth time. I was sucked in by every word in the book written and could sit for hours, just reading it. Suddenly Lily, her dark red hair that fell on her shoulders and wearing muggle clothes and had on a pair of jeans, a green top that matched her eyes and a white cardigan. Next to her was Mary, her blonde hair that went to the shoulders in a red jumper dress with a white cloak over.

"Beck please come and join us" Lily said. Just the thought of me downstairs made me laugh. I wasn't much for parties. Too loud music, too many loud people and it was a party.

"So many people have been asking for you" Mary said. I couldn't help but to make a "hmpf" sound. Since when has people missed me?

"Please Beck" Lily said doing her puppy eyes. Damn those puppy eyes. Who was stupid enough to envent those anyways?

"I can't. I'm in the middle of the book" I said. It wasn't a good excuse, but it was a excuse.

"Well, read it downstairs" Mary said. When they looked at me I couldn't help but to be convinced.

"Fine" I said, and held on to my book as I got myself up from the bed. The two girls grabbed each of my arm and fast walked me down the stairs, afraid that I was going to change my mind which I probably would had. In the common room, there was almost pitch dark except from some candels. The rock group Dark Knight's music was playing loudly in the room and almost everyone was dancing. Everywhere there was empty bottles on the floor. I had to be careful not to step on any. I sat down in the armchair. I took out my wand which I had placed behind my ears.

"Lumos" I said and the wand lit up and I started to continuing reading the book. Remus had appeared in front of me.

"I didn't actually think they could make you come down" He said smiling. I tried to make out what he as saying but the music was playing to loud.

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU"

"I SAID IT WAS AMAZING THAT THEY MANAGED TO GET YOU DOWN"

"WHAT?" Remus started to laugh as he walked closer to me.

"I said, I'm surprised that Lily and Mary convinced you to come down"

"It wasn't easy" I said smiling.

"So, Romeo and Juliet?" He asked and I nodded.

"I prefer Hamlet"

"Hamlet's good. But it's just so amazing story in Romeo and Juliet. They loved each other so much that they couldn't live without another. That kind of love never exist in real life"

"Becky, you must be one of the most cynical teenagers ever" He said and laughed more. Lily walked to us.

"So are you having fun?"

"Oh yes, Remus and I were discussing how love doesn't exist nowadays" I said and couldn't hold a smile.

"That sounds…fun?" Lily said confused. And of course, when you see Lily you know James isn't far away. He was walking, not very straight to us holding a honeyduke's beer bottle.

"Lily, my true love" He said and put his arm around her. She immediately took the arm away.

"JAMES POTTER. Can you for the millionth time stop it" She said stamping her feet.

"I could. But why?"

"James, an advice for tonight would be not to try and flirt with Lily" Remus said. James rooled his eyes.

"This is why I've Sirius. Where is he anyway?"

"Fooling around with some girl on the coach what else?" Lily answered as-a-matter-of'-fact with a tone that showed that she thought you be mad to fall for him. I couldn't argue.

"I bet you're happy I don't do that Lily" James said. Lily looked at him and then me.  
"Sorry Becky, but I can't be here any longer with Mr No here" When she left James looked at us.

"I know she loves me" He said.

"You know what. I take what I said back – Love does exist in real life" I said, jokingly to Remus and he laughed.

Midnight had arrived and the music was playing more and the music had gotten louder for each hour. I was on the last pages of Romeo and Juliet. After much practice I could now stop myself from crying in public after reading a book. I decided to go the dormitory now.. I got up from the chair and was about to walk up the stair when Sirius came, holding a empty beer bottle in his hand.

"Beeeckky, I've not seen you" He said. I panicked. Drunk people always made me uncomfortable.

"Mhm" I said and tried to walk up the stairs but he continued to speak.

"Romeo and Juliet?" He said as he watched my book. I nodded.

"Why are you reading that sentimental crap?"

"Because that sentimental crap was written by a man who definitely knew what he was writing" I answered. I had just started a debate with Sirius. I couldn't believe it. And I had managed to say it without stuttering or stammering. Sirius had clearly noticed it to.  
"You know what. I might borrow that book someday" he said and I suppressed a laughter.

"Someday…"

It was Sunday afternoon and I just walked out of the library. As I walked out Peter was walking towards me. I expected him to just go past me but instead he started talking.

"Becky, we've been looking for you. Come" He said. I was confused but I did as he told me and followed him to the clock court yard where Remus, James and Sirius were standing. I had no clue what they wanted me to do.

"There you are" James said and they started to walk. I had no idea what was happening and didn't realize they wanted me to follow until Remus made a hand sign to me to show I was supposed to come with. I hurried up to Remus.

"What's happening?" I asked

"We're going to Hagrid's. We thought you might want to tag along" He said. I had never been to Hagrid' hut. Just seen it from outside, and since I quite liked Hagrid I was quite excited. We walked past the bridge and came to the area of where the Forbidden Forest was. Hagrid's hut was just a couple meters away. It was small but very high. There was pumpkins being planted for Halloweeen, probably and sunflowers. We came to the hut where Sirius knocked on the big door. Out came Hagrid. He was more than third of my size and I was a bit over the average height for my age. He had a big smile and his beard was as tangly as ever.

"Hello boys, oh' I see yer brought some nice company. Welcome Becky. I goe and make some tea" He said in a warm voice and opened the door to the hut and we walked in. The hut felt like something from the little teaspoon lady story where everything was distorted. We sat down in the coach and waited for Hagrid who was the tea.

"A tip, if Hagrid offers you some food just say you've just eaten or something" Sirius whisperd in my ear. I found this quite hard to believe, his cooking couldn't be that bad. After a couple minutes Hagrid was back with tea for everyone and something that looked like a brick of stone. He handed out the tea.

"Anyone want some homemade cake?" He asked.

"Sorry Hagrid, I'm just had a big lunch" Sirius said

"Yeah, same here" Peter said

"I'm on a diet…Qudditch" James said.

"I'm really sorry Hagrid but I'm saving myself for a big dinner tonight" Remus said. Hagrid then looked at me and I knew I didn't have the heart to say no.  
"I'm actually quite hungry, give me some picee of that cake" I said and smiled. Hagrid shine up and gave me a big piece on a plate. I took a bit. Not only did it look like a brick it tasted like one and had the same consistent. I decided to take nano small piceces every time.  
"So how has It ben goin' in school?" He asked.

"Good. We have only gotten six detentions each" James said and smiled proudly.

"'ow is the new Defence Against Dark Arts teacher then?" He asked.

"He's really good actually. Knows his stuff. I think we can actually learn from him"Remus said.

"You don't need to learn Remus. You already know anything there's to know" Sirius said.

"Yeah, you can probably teach instead of the teacher" James said jokingly.

"I feel so bad for the students" Peter said laughing.

"Those students would be so doomed, I wouldn't let my kids into that class " James said. Remus pretended to be hurt. I know the guys were only joking since Remus would make a perfect teacher.

"Are those pumkin's for Halloween Hagrid?" I asked

"Oh yeah, I've ben growin' so that the will be big for Halloween" he said.

We stayed at Hagrid's for a couple of hours. I had barley finished my cake though when we left, but I couldn't help but to feel like it was worth it when I saw his smiling face. When we walked back to the castle it was starting to get black. As we walked back to the castle I saw Snape in the corridor. All of the guys lit up. I couldn't help but to realize how this was going to end in a disaster.

"If it isn't little Snivelleus. " James said with a smirk.

"Out in the corridors." Sirius continued

"All alone" Peter said. I looked quikly at Remus who looked distraught but he stood still.

"What do we have there?" James said looking at a black book Snape held in his hand. I couldn't help but feel bad for him. It was three against one.

"You wouldn't dare" Snape said and drew out his wand.

"I beg the differ" James said as he also drew out the wand.  
"If you ever touch this book James I'll make sure you suffer " Sirius and Peter broke out in laugther.

"Oh, Snape you're soo scary. Why would we be afraid of you?" Sirius said. In ten seconds Snape mutterd the worlds "Impedimenta!" Snape shouted and James fell on the ground on his four feet. James determined drew out his wand.

"Furnunculus!" James shouteded and boils started to spread on Snape's face.

I heard steps around the corridor. It was McGongall and panic went through my body.

"HAVE I not told you boys, several times DUELING isn't allowed in the corridors never" She looked around and saw me.

"Becky? I've to say I'm appaled to find such a behavior from you"  
"But madam' Becky and Remus wasn't-" Sirius started but McGongall drew out her wand and waved it towards Snape whose face stopped growing boils and after ten seconds his face was back to normal.

"Go to the headmaster's office, all of you." She said frustrated . Some of her hair in her bun had come lose.

"NOW. You know all where it's by this time. And I will be take 20 points for each person. That's 20 points from Slytherin and 100 points from Gryffindor" I had never been so ashamed in my life. 100 points is a lot. I dreaded what the rest of the house would say.

"I'm sorry Becky to get you in trouble" James said as we walked to Dumbledore's office. I had never been there so I had no clue what to expect.

"It's fine. It's not like Snape wasn't cursing you " I said quietly to James as Snape was walking in front of us. The rest of the walk was quiet .None dared to speak a world and suddenly we came to a corridor with a statute of phoenix bird.

"Exploding Snaps" Sirius said without doubting and the phoenix bird turned and changed into a chair. I couldn't help but think how cool this was even though I was going to the headmaster's room for a punishment. Walking up a stair we came to a room which had a big door with lion as handles. I presumed this was the office. Snape banged on the door.

"Toad" James mutterd as he was kicked on the foor by Remus.  
"Do you want to get in more trouble?" He asked and James gave an angry stare. The door opened by magic. The office was incredible, filled with different magical things every where and painting hanging on the wall of the old headmaster's. Clearly the other persons had been here several times before because they were nowhere near the impressments I had and the walked into as if it just was one of the corridor. Dumbledore was sitting in his desk. Six chairs were in front of it. I started to get nervous as we were getting closer.

"Sit down" Dumbledore said with a smile. His piercing blue eyes looked as they smiled at us, his beard and long hair silverly glistening in the dark and he was wearing a red cloak with blue stars.

"I hear you've been in trouble again boys" Dumbledore said in a light voice. "I must say I was surprised to see you here Ms Thompson but new friends usually cause new situations"

"Professor….you're not going to but this on a record?" Snape asked carefully.

"No, however I must advice you to keep close at this time. Darker time is closing and we sometimes must turn to people we didn't thought we would. You can leave now. Except for Becky, I'ld like to talk to you" He said and the boys walked out, with James, Remus, Sirius and Peter looking anxiously back at where I was sitting. Dumbledore walked up.

"I just want to say that that it must have took a lot of bravery to change friends. Something however, that we're once in our life meant to do. Just don't get to carried away to do anything stupid to impress….a certain someone" He said, and I swear that he blinked one eye too.

"T-hank you professor" I said, rather shaken. Did he really meant what I thought he meant? Did he know what I felt for Sirius? That was just to bizarre. He nodded for me to say that it was okey for me to go and shaken I walked out of the office.

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First of all, thanks to the people who has reviewed, put the story on story alert, favoristed and so on ;) Means alot :)

Uhm, the update was longer than I thought it would but I've break now so I will probably have a bit of free time :)

Firecat8: Omg, I loooove you for the comment about my English. Hahaha i feel so proud. Actualy, when I started this story which was like last summer I had never gone to a English school and I just started one so I'm happy there are some results of that xD Thank you, I wanteded it to be funny, but I tend to have a very..weird humour so I'm glad you thought it was funny:D And thank you for introducing the story to your friend I'm happy she likes it too!:D


	7. Confrontments

I'm a genius, I really am. Because the advice I gave Alice seemed to work. She has been a lot at the Hufflepuff table and made friends with Alex Reed, and I've to admit that he was pretty darn cute with his blonde hair and blue eyes. Not that I would have any chance because not until now in my sixth year have people in my own house start to notice me. It had also started to come to the time in the term where you feel everything is hopeless and there's no point in studying because everything goes crap. The only subject that I managed with good grades on my report, essays and presentation was Defence Against Dark Arts and Arithmancy which I had always excelled at, it was the only subject which I was good at. I was more often in the Gryffindor common room than the library nowadays and I was in the common room finishing off my homework when Alice stepped in through the portrait of the fat lady and as she gazed around the room saw me sitting at the window and walked towards me. I have to say that it did surprise me, but I was also quite honored.

'Hi Becky' She said and sat down.

'Hey' I said back. My mind went through things I could say to her, but nothing that made any sense at all. Then it accured to me – Alex.

'So how has it been going with Alex?' I asked her, and a big grin appeared on the face. Frank Longbottom sat just beside around the fireplace but at the mention of Alex he looked at us. Alice saw this too and grabbed my hand as she grabbed me to a empty corner. It is such a simple thing that people don't get makes someone feel special. It was the first time someone had done it to me.

'About that…there is a thing I might have left out…'she said. What was that supposed to mean? I tried to put it together but it didn't work out.

'What?' I asked.

'Well…I made a little agreement with Alex.' She said mischievously.

'Like what…?' I asked her, now terrified of what she would say

'That he'll pretend to date me, or just be with me if he can go on a date with you' She said.

'WHAT' I screamed and the eyes of the people in the common room directed towards me. Firstly, WHAT. Secondly, what guy would possibly in his correct state of mind would want to date me? Maybe I heard wrong.

'Wait, Alex is pretending to go out with you so that he can get a date with me?' I asked confused to confirm what she had said.

'Yes' Alice said and nodded. Wow, so many things I wanted to hit Alice with right now and nothing near me. Me on a date? The thought was quite entertaining. There was no way I would actually do it.

'Sorry Alice but I can't do it' I said. She looked at me with a blank stare. I was positive she would start debating until I actually would accept the date.

'Okay' She said with a slight disappointed voice. Did she had to play this trick on me? I was so weak for this, it worked every time. However, it was really unfair that she had done something like this without me being asked. She seemed to get what I was thinking.

'It's unfair I see, but you've to be the one to break it to Alex' She said. OF course, this was her master plan. But I could see where she was planning at. So now I just needed to dump a guy that I haven't even talked to. And here I was thinking my love life is dead.

'Okay' I murmured. I could totally do that. If someone just gave me some more oxygen mask and I was on my way.

'Stir into the caldron, clockwise eight times then add the chopped daisy roots' Lily instructed me. It was Potions and we were doing the shrinking potion. It was a fairly simple one for people who were good at Potions. I however was not and I couldn't understand how I landed myself in the position of actually being in the one doing the stirring. Snape was also in our group and he seemed to comment everything I did, not that I had anything against that because I didn't want to be the one to mess up the potion so that the we would get a low grade. Our potions teacher, Mr Slughorn, an plump man with a walrus mustache came by to check our potions.

'Try adding a bit more leech juice' He said as he passed by and Lily rapidly put in some more leech juice. Mr Slughorn loved Lily, but then who can't love her? I always convinced myself I didn't want to be in the Slughorn club but I had to admit that I wouldn't have any against being picked out of a couple other students.

'Becky!' Snape said

'What?' I asked

'You've stirred eight and 1/3 now times' he said. I quickly stopped stirring.

'Okay, now it says that we should be finished' Lily said and slammed the book. Snape took his pen in a tube as Lily hell over the potion on the pen. As the potion bubbled the pencil was…sharpened? I wanted to sink through the floor. Just because I stirred a bit to much the potion didn't work as it should have and now Lily would probably never want to work with me in Potions more.

'I'm sorry' I said

'It's fine Becky, it's not your fault' She said

'How can it not be? She stirred it to many times' Snape said. I have to say that I was surprised by his reaction, even though ever since I started to be a bit around the Marauders he seemed to act much more cold to me. Or well, cold in difference to not noticing. I got slightly hurt by what he had said, and Lily had noticed.

'Well who was it that put to little of the leech from the begging?' She asked and put her hand on her hips. Proffesor Slughorn came by us again. He gave Lily and Snape a disappointed look.

'Better look next time' He said

'I'm sorry, I was not thinking so I happened to stir a bit to much' I said and he looked at me.

'No worries, no worries it happens to the best' He said and it actually made me feel a bit better,

'Well, class dismissed everyone' He said happily and I qukily grabbed by bookbag and put on my cloak before he would change his mind and give me some detention or something, not that I actually think that he would.

'I need to go now to my muggle studies class. See you' She said with a smile. I couldn't' help to wonder why Llly, who was muggleborn would need to take muggle studies. I found myself standing in the entrance at Hogwarts with nothing to do. And then A certain blonde hair guy walked down the stairs. Wasn't that ironic? I had been pushing this all week but I knew I couldn't hold it for much longer.

'Hey Alex, do you uhm have a moment?' I asked nervous. He looked at me with his green eyes.

'Yeah?'

'Alice told me about your "deal" and I'm sorry but I can't do it' I told the thing quikly in order to get it crossed of my list.

'Well Bye' I said and started to walk. He grabbed a hold of my arm, shit shit shit. What if this was all a joke? And he never had agreed or done this deal?

'Why not?' He asked. This question took be me by surprise. Why not? Because I'm so stupid that I'm waiting that Sirius Black would discover me? Because I don't believe he wants to go on a date with me and then he is here asking me why not? Am I not supposed to be part of the Gryffindor house, the house of bravery.

'I..don't know' I answered him honestly back after moments of thinking.

'So, if we spend some time together I might convince you?' He asked.

'I guess…' I replied. He took my hand.

'Then let's go'

We lay down at the grounds around the Black Lake, our with almost dipping in the water. In the sunlight it accrued to me how just good looking he was and how absurb this all was.

'What's difference between a battery and a woman?' He asked me suddenly.

'Uhm, I don't know?' I said confused

'A battery as a positive side!' He burst out and started to laugh loudly. The joke was the most sexist one I ever heard and I was in shock of what he had just said. Alex seemed to judge by my look just what I was thinking.

'C'mon that was funny!' He said after he was finished with laughing.

'Uhm…sure' I said.

'Let me tell you another one' No, no and NO but since I had no clue what to do after no I sat quiet after he told one sexist joke after another.

'Becky, this has been great' He said. What? Great? Great would not be the world to describe this hour. I nodded, thinking that this would be it but Alex leaned forward, so close I could smell his breath. What does he want to do? I thought for myself. All this made me uncomfortable. I had never been this near a guy. My question was answered when he kissed me. Or more like smattered me in his saliva. I was in so much shock I didn't react to it. If I could I would have pressed his body away from mine as fast as I could. They say you never forget your first kiss…well I certainly hope I do. From the corners of my eyes I saw Sirius, Peter, James and Remus all looking intensely at me. Merlin, they were thing I was some skank. Tears were starting to fill my eyes and I raised my self up, saying nothing to Alex who were sitting there surprised and I ran to the castle, somehow managed to get into the common room and up to the dormitory before the tears came pouring down.

I didn't realize that I had fallen asleep and was woken of the sight of Mary, Lily and Alice sitting around my bed.

'Did we wake you?' Lily asked carefully

'No' I answered honestly

'Do you mind me asking what happened' Mary asked and I realized how awful I must have looked. I decided to tell them, and so I did. I told them about the date and the kiss, I even said that it was my first one, something that I never had told anyone else. I left out the part about the marauders.

'Oh my gosh, Becky I'm so sorry. If could just have talked to Alex myself. I had no idea he was like that, he was never like that when he was with me, if I did then I'ld never let this happen' Alice said and I knew she meant it. Lily hugged me.

'Oh honey, your first kiss and it just had to go that wrong' I couldn't actually believed the reacted more to that I had never kissed a guy, I mean I was expecting them to act as though I was a nun.

'You know what you need now?' Mary asked. I shook my head in answer.

'Food. They are still serving dinner now in the Great Hall' She said and as soon as she said the world food I could hear my stumach scream for food. I went up to go the the Great Hall.

'Beck, let me fix you up a bit it will be fast' Lily said, and even though I was hungry I couldn't argue because I knew how horrifying I must look. She took napkins from her bag and took off all the running mascara in my face then she put some kind of crème on.

'Finito' She said

'Since when you speak Italian?' I asked her.

'You du nat know I em from Italy, eh?' She said in a horrible Italian accent with a big smile.

'Believe it or not I don't' I said and pushed a smile out of my face.

There wasn't very much people left in the Great Hall, just two Slytherins, five Hufflepuffs, no Rawenclaw and four Gryffindors which happened to be the Marauders.

'Actually I'm not that hungry' I said trying to sneak my way out.

'Bullshit' Alice said. And how much I didn't want to sit beside the Marauders afraid of what they would think of me I was even more hungry. I sat down beside James.

As I started to eat I realized just how hungry I had been. My plate was soon empty again and I was going for my next one. I was in the mood for some soup; I looked and saw that the soup was placed next to Sirius who was sitting the most far away from me.

'Sirius can you give me the bowl of soup I asked?' I asked him. Irritated he gave me the bowl of soup and immediately gave me a cold stare. What's with him? I wondered. I was the kind of person a overanalyzing everything a person did.

The rest of the week Sirius treated me with in the same manner. I was really hurt. A voice in my head screamed that he might have gotten feelings about me when he saw me kissing Alex but another said I had ready to many books.

It took eight days before I finally decided to confront. It had took that long because I couldn't help but wonder that it might just be imaginarily and I would look stupid if I was wrong. What if he had never liked me in the first placed and he was growing tired of me and that's why he acted as he did? If he had feelings for me, which seemed to be the most unlikely thing ever it scared me to death. Isn't it funny that I might be standing in some dream coming true and I'm scared of death that it just might. But now I couldn't wait anymore I needed to know what was bugging him. So after a transfiguration class I grabbed a picee of his robe and steered him to a empty corridor. He looked confused.

'I want to know why you've been acting so cold towards me' I said and I was surprised how steady and determined my words came out. Maybe because I had been practisning having this conversation the last five nights.

'When I saw you kissing Alex then it all became clear' He said and his gray eyes looked at me.

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*Dum Dum Dum Dum*. What will Sirius say? And I didn't make the cliffhanger intentionaly but my hands hurt so much I couldn't write anymore. I swear.

Thank you every one for putting the story on alrt and favourtising it and all that. I would LOVE some more reviews though, not that I don't appreciate the ones I've been given, but I know that there are much more people reading that reviewing because I'ld love all your thoughts on this. So basically, plz review. And I'm really desperate since I promised my self never to beg for reviews. XD


	8. What a Match

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER**

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Oh merlin, was this is it? My whole body was shaking. I could feel my hair raising up and my heart pump faster and faster. But this couldn't be right? I must be daydreaming because how else would Sirius Black ever like me? The invisible brown haired girl that always had her nose in books? Then it accrued to me, I wasn't Becky Thompson invisible longer I was Becky Thompson, just me. I looked into Sirius eyes, When I did I realized how terrified I was. I don't know if I was terrified because he might say he was falling for me or terrified because he might not.

'You and Remus are perfect for each other, and he really likes you so I don't understand why you're making out with some guy it's so unlike you' He said. BOOM. BANG. It felt as though I had internally been turned up side down. How stupid was I? Believing that Sirius Black might like me? The thought was laughable, I really do read too much romance books, where else might I have gotten that twisted idea from? And would I think it would have a slight chance of surviving?

'Remus and I are just friends, just friends okay? And neither I nor he intend to be something else. For the other thing, why do you even care if some guy kissed me?' I said. The last thing had just bounced of my mouth. I wanted to take it back, but I couldn't.

'I-I just meant that you don't know the uhm, whole story between me and Alex' I continued and someway or another I was nervous when I said that.

'What's the whole story then?' He asked. If I were some mega cool confident chick in one of those books I would have said something along the lines with "Not your business Sherlock'. I bet he would have liked that actually, and then I wouldn't have been invisible for him for six years. But that wasn't me.

'Believe me, through the date I wanted to leave and I was just about to when HE kissed me. I didn't kiss back or anything, and I was too scared and well uhm, that's what you saw' I said. There was a moment of silence and he caught me off guard when he took my hand.

'I'm really sorry Beck. I well, I fell really stupid' He said, I didn't say anything back.

'How about I go there and kick his ass?' He said, trying to lighten the mood. Would he really do that? It kind of freaked me out. I didn't want anyone to get hurt. Sirius chuckled.

'Love, I'm joking. Although if you would like me to I would do it for you' He said, with a serious voice. Merlin, why does he have to say love all the time when he knows what it does to me?

'No no n-o, please don't' I said he gave a smile and put my arm around his shoulders. I was almost paralyzed. I thought that the hands had taken me off guard this was just…like a falling star from the sky that hit you from nowhere. I guess this was his was of saying sorry and merlin it worked to well. In the presence of Sirius Black I was smitten.

'So where shall we go?' he asked

'You decide' I said, because I know that if I would pick place I would spend the time thinking if he thought it was good or not. He thought for a moment.

'Kitchen' He said.

'Kitchen?' I asked confused. He smiled.

'Follow me' He said and we started to walk. My hands were still around his neck. Everywhere we went girls looked where staring jealously at me. I didn't like this kind of attention, it made me even passed Lily who looked as though she thought she was seeing double. I had no clue where the kitchen was so I just followed Sirius until I had lost myself somewhere around the castle. We then came to a painting with a pear and he stopped. This was odd I thought and then the strangest thing happens – Sirius tickled the pear. He had softly taken off my arm around his shoulders so it was now leaning safe against my robe. Then the painting opened.

'Behold Hogwart's greatest secret' He said as we now where standing in front of a large kitchen with mostly house elf working making food. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It seemed surreal. Then many of the house elf turned to look at us. The house elves had big tennis balled shaped eyes, tiny starving bodies, big heads and ears that also where really big. They were adorable.

'Oh, Mr Black here again I see. And who is this young lady?' Said a one of them which was wearing a pink apron and had long lashes. Clearly a girl.

'This is Becky. And Becky this is Zelda' He said and the Zelda was now eyeing me, and if I was not mistaken I thought it was a bit of jealousy in her eyes. Even the house elves couldn't resist the charm of Sirius, how very ironic.

'Hi' I said. I had meet house elves but we had never had one in my family. My mum thought it was too cruel. I couldn't complain.

'What do you want Becky?' Sirius asked me.

'Maybe some uhm, coffee?' I said.

'One coffee and one scoop of chocolate ice cream' Sirius said.

We sat down at some seat in front of the kitchen island.

'So how did you find this place?' I asked.

'Ah, a very good question which I'm afraid I can't answer at the moment.' He said

'Sound mischievous' I said.

'Oh I promise you it's' Sirius said and Zelma was back with a plate which she had on a cup of coffee and a bowl with a scoop of chocolate.

'Thank' I said to her and she gave me a smile as she went back to her ordinary habits in the kitchen. Sirius began to eat his while I waited for my coffee to get a bit colder.

'You want to know something?' He asked, with a flashy smile. I had decided that it was time to start drinking the coffee.

'What?'

'You're the only girl I've ever brought here' He said . I choked on my coffee.

'Uhm, w-hat?'

'You're the only girl that I know wouldn't tell this to anyone' He said and I nodded. Because he was right, I wouldn't.

Halloween had come fast, it was a Thursday and there was a certain an excitement hanging in the air as the door opened for the dinner in the Great Hall. In the ceiling there was pumkin that I regonigsed from Hagrid's hut, there were hopefully not real skeletons in the corners, spider webs was placed in the windows and there was music from 'Eternal Vampires' playing. At the teacher table Dumbledore looked happier than ever chatting to McGongall who to the honor of the day had a spider on her hat. I sat down at the Gryffindor table, next to Dorcas and Remus. I had caught myself staring at Remus a lot the last couple of days. I wanted to feel the way the way I feel about Sirius about him. It would just be so much easier, Remus was stable, loyal and we're one of the same while Sirius was a heartbreaker who never could commit to anyone for a week except his friends and he was the total opposite of me. Although I always had the feeling Remus was hiding something from me, but that was just my imagination. So why did I just had to pick the guy totally wrong for me? I noticed that Remus had one of those days when he was on a low. He almost didn't eat anything of his food. I took some pasta.

'Remus, do you mind me asking what's up?' I asked. What I didn't realise was that all of the Marauders suddenly stopped talking and looked surprised at me. Remus fork dropped to the plate and he stormed out. Merlin, why did I had to be that stupid and asking what's up?

'Becky, it isn't your fault' Peter said. I looked surprised at him.

'How can it not be?' I asked.

'Because, well Lupin has a …furry problem and well today they problem is particularly bad' James said. What he said just left me more confused. Did Remus have a…rabbit?

'Should I go after him?' I asked

'No!' The guys said.

'You see, going to him now would be like going straight to a dragon' Sirius said.

'Okay…' I said, now I was much more than confused.

'So Becky, going to cheer on us at the Gryffindor team this weekend' James said and he flickered his hair.

'I…don't like Quidditch' I replied. James jaw floor almost fell to the ground.

'Beck, I think you gave James a heart attack' Sirius said.

'Do people like you…exist?' James asked in shock.

'Yes?' I had never got Qudditch, it was dangerous, boring to watch and there was no point in the game. I would never tell James this.

'How…is it…possible?' He said and I shrugged my shoulders.

'Because maybe they don't think life revolves around a golden ball?' Peter suggested

'NO., NO that's possible. Becky, have there been some cases of mental illnesses in your family?' He asked..

'…no' I answered.

'Have you been to a match?' He asked

'No' I said.

'Then you'll come next weekend, make sure Becky is coming Sirius' James instructed.

'Ay ay captain!' Sirius said

'Do you know how the game Becky?' James asked me. I had no clue where he was going.

'No'

'Then, I'm going to teach you' he said. Wow, I can't wait! Or not.

'Is he kidding?' I asked Peter and Sirius

'IF there is one thing I never joke about it's qudditch' He said smiling.

'And let's not forget get your magnificent hair also' Peter said.

'Becky you know that you just agreed to one hour of James talking about Qudditch?' Sirius asked.

'Unfortunately I do realize that'I said

I was standing in the owelery writing a letter to my parents. I had just gotten a very IF YOU DON'T REPLY THIS WE ARE GOING TO THE SCHOOL letter by them and had decided to reply.

_Dear Mum and Dad_

_Nothing has changed. Teachers are dropping tons of homework and test on us. Rivality between all the houses is still here , especially now when quidditch has started._

_No, nothing has happened – I'm not dead, I'm not dying and I'm not in a coma. It's just balancing school work, peers and family which is really hard at the moment. I haven't forgotten you._

_Say hello from me to Anna, I hope the honeymoon was good._

_MUM don't worry the food here is good as always, I'm not starving, I've actually gained weight._

_Hope you're good_

_xoxo_

_Becky_

I looked around for a school owl, I saw a black one that looked impatient for something to do. I gave the letter to the owl, who I could read now the name of the owl was called Era. I gave the address and Era flew away. As I walked out from the owlery, a place which I didn't tend to be in for too long since the stink of owl spillery came straight into my nose. As I walked out I saw Lupin coming in, he looked out of breath. For the last days he had been acting very strange against me so I decided to do the same to him.

'Becky I'm sorry. I'm…' He started

'You're what?' I asked cold.

'I want to tell you but, it's just easier like this' He said. I gave him a blank stare.

'Please, can we go back to being friends' He asked

'You have always been my friend' I said and gave a smile. I could never stay mad at a person too long.

It was the big day. For James and everyone on the Gryffindor team. To be frank I didn't expect much out of the game then being able to skip the last one. James had for one hour sat with me and talked the instructions of quidditch.

'So, the game is about the chasers trying to score in one of those hole things that the keeper protects. Then there are the bludgers that can stop the chasers from scoring. The bludgers are controlled by the beaters. Then there is the snitch, which if the seeker catch it will get 150 points and that will stop the game' I said to Sirius. He smiled

'Full mark' he said. I was wearing my Gryffindor scarf, that I had never used before. The Gryffindor were playing against Rawenclaw. Right now the both teams started to go on to the pitch. As I looked around for Lily I saw that a fifth year Gryffindor girl with blonde curly hair was now standing in the arms of Sirius, my heart stung. Then I could see the familiar dark red hair and I waved to Lily as she made her way.

'This is going to be boring' She said but something in her tone she sounded as she was getting quite excited.

Suddenly a voice filled the stadium, it was a dark guy that I reconigsed from Hufflepuff I didn't know his name.

'And that match has started. The question everyone is asking themselves this match if Gryffindor can live up to their old title as champions last year.'

The match continued with an instant goal from Gryffindor. The match was beginning to get a bit interesting. Sirius and the girl were now in the middle of kissing each others neck and I looked away.

'OH, James Potter, the famous beater from Gryffindor just saved Rawenclaw from getting a goal' He said. I got excited by the mention of James name. The match continued on, but Rawenclaw had started to catch on. Both Lily and me were leaning over the bar to get a closer look of the match.

'95-90 to Gryffindor but there has been no sign of the sni- 95-95 Olsen just scored for Rawenclaw' He said and there was now a building tension. Would Williams, Gryffindors seeker find the snitch in time? My eyes followed the seekers and I saw to my horror that something had caught Rawenclaws seeker eyes. Was it possible the snitch? Williams seemed to have seen this to because she was now going in the exact same reactions. Everyone wondered what would happen next, Sirius and the girl had even stopped their make up session. Lily and I were cheering, or rather screaming along with all the others Gryffindors.

'WILLIAMS CAN DO IT, WILLIAMS CAN SHOW THEM. GRYFFINDOR FOR THE CUP'

'Rawenclaw's seeker went now in a wicked fast speed and before I knew it he had fallen of to the ground. There was a gasp in the audience and the cheering stoopped.. Willimas had taken her advatnge and now went straight after the stitch. It was fifty seconds later when the voice could be heard through the speakers.

'GRYFFINDOR WINS'

One thing was for sure, I was definitely going to the next game.

* * *

*Goes into hiding* I'm sooo sorry guys, I want Sirius and Becky to hook up as well but it's just not time for that yet =) And it won't be some story about how Sirius sees Becky kissing another guy and then suddnley relaises his feeligns because I want something more...hm worthy? realtionship ;D Okay worthy wasn't the word I was looking for it but whatever xD

I'm really glad of all the positive feed back. Thank you guys!! :D

Argh, I knew there is something else I was going to say. OH, a book and movie tip: the boy in the striped pyjamas. It's a amazing book which I think they made justice of in the movie ( the guy who plays Remus Lupin in the HP books is one of the actors in the movie but perhaps you already knew that).

And I've just been given this comment to this week'And I thought I was the biggest Harry Potter freak' by one of my classmates, haha. I feel so proud.

Take care, and I'll try to update asp but I got the feeling I'm not going to be able to do that next week. But you never know...;D Oh I just realised what I was going to say, I've started writing a Charlie W/OC fiction, and also a Rose/Scorpius for that matter so I'll probably upload one of those when I got the time.


	9. Tinkerbell

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER

* * *

'Becky the bookworm

Walking all alone

Pathetic

Nobody likes her

Everyone just say bad things about her

Because the only friend Becky the bookworm has

Is a work of fictional crap' Peeves sang as I walked to the common room. I gave him a glaze where I said what I thought about his so called, song writing skills but he only sang louder. I tried to ignore it, it didn't work. What he said always stuck in my brain and that was mostly because he always said was a thing I always had in the back of the brain. I hated that when someone sad something bad about me I could never let it go and it was all I thought about. What if everyone that I befriended this years talked bad things about me behind their back? What if I was just a plaster they wanted to get ride of?

Peeves had now disappear and gone off attacking a poor first year. I walked to the portrait of the fat lady.

'Chocolate frogs'

'Password has been changed' she said coldly. I had totally forgotten that they had changed the password earlier this term. I was starting to panick trying to remember what it was

'Snitch' I said after a while and the portrait opened.

It was a school week night so of course everyone was sitting in the common room. Lily was sitting on the floor in front of the fire place, studying, Mary and Dorcas was playing wizard's chess and Alice was in the armchair petting her cat, Dexter. I sat down next to Lily.

'Becky do think Alice is fat?' Lily asked me, completely random. How can anyone think Alice was fat? If Alice was fat then I had to be obese or something.

'No' I said confused.

'SEE no one thinks you're fat Alice' Lily said determined. Alice sighed. Apparently she didn't think so which was completely ridiculous. Lily started to lecture Alice about her weight. That was when I saw Sirius, James and Peter holding a black potions book as they stood together in a group . A book that looked exactly like the one Snape had protected when he started to attack, or well attack and attack rather defend himself although that wasn't correct either against James.

I decided to see what they were up to. I stood up and walked to them. I was a bit afraid of what they would think of me intrduing on them but I could always make up some lie about me needing to ask them for homework…

'Hi guys. What are you up to?' I asked unsure. The guys turned around and looked relived when they saw me.

'Just you' James asked relived, I nodded.

'We stole the book from Snape.' Peter said as James and Sirius grinned.

'But why do you want to have to have a murky potions book?' I asked, confused.

'Ah, Becks…Becks…Becks this is not a just a murky potions book' Sirius said happy.

'What is it then?' I asked confused.

'This is our weapon against Snivellus' James said

'Again, not really following' I said

'Snape has written loads of useless things in this, as how to make a potions easier. However there are some good things, some really good things' Peter said

'He has developed new spells, that we can use against him. It's brilliant we don't need to o anything because he has done it for us unconsciously.' Sirius said. I wasn't big on rule breaking, and this was a major rule breaking. I always thought rules where there to control us, and a society without lose wouldn't work. I can't even lie. So to hear that they were planning to use spells they didn't even know how they worked was making me fidgety and panic. How can they even think about doing something like that?

'You do realise using these spells can get you in serious troubles. I mean first of all, you be expelled and second you might go to Azkaban' I said, trying to get the message across of what I thought without sounding to persuasive, but even I could hear how mommy like the words came out.

'Don't worry your sweet head about it love' Sirius said, and automatically I started to blush again. It drove me so mad, why did he insist on calling me that when he knew in the end I Iooked as red a the colours on my uniform. And why did he think he could being of the hook by calling me love.

'It's not like none of us is ending up in Azkaban' James said and smiled. I didn't say anything though I just walked back to Lily who was still giving Alice a whole speech about being happy with her body.

I had never got that about love. That somehow mysteriously a shining knight would appear and you live happily ever after. Maybe I had read to much novels so that I didn't believe what it said anymore, maybe I was totally in denial I actually believed it or maybe I was just a pathetic cynical little girl. All I knew was that every time I saw Sirius with his pick of the week girl it drove me mad.

I was standing, glancing at the sky. The stars shine in the darkness. It wasn't very late, most people were eating in the Great Hall. I had just decided to gaze into the darkness. I was starting to feel the wind blowing in my face. I was all alone. I liked being alone, the silence and being able to just think without hearing anybody's voice or being crammed by people then all I can think about how annoying that is.

I suddenly saw something lurking my way, something quite small and furry…Mrs McGonagall? As it got closer and closer I saw that it wasn't something human. My body tightened it was some sort of animal, and you never knew what sort you might end up meeting here with Hagrid as game keeper. My hands gripped the grass, I don't know why I did that it was just a reflection. As the animal came closer and closer I saw the most adorable dog I've ever seen. It was quite big and black. It caught my eyes, I thought it was going to run away but instead it gave me a…grin? If that was possible. It ran towards me, and I started to panic. Was this dog going to attack me? I remembered a story my dad used to tell me to scare me up when I was small about how he gotten a big chunk of thigh off by a dog attacking me. It took two years before my mum finally convinced me he was just making stuff up. I didn't know what to expect but it was certainty not the dog standing on it's too feet and kissing me on the nose. I laughed and gently pushed the dog away.

'You silly dog' I said teasingly. The dog put it's head on my thighs. I petted it in the ears, it went ecstatic and started to roll around for several minutes on the ground until it started to turn on to it's back, showing it wanted me to pet it on it's stomach as it barked a bit.

'And what makes you think I will pet you " I said, giving the dog a fake hard stare. The dog, on it's back looked at me with puppy eyes. How in the name of merlin can a dog look so cute.

'Just because you're so irresistible bet you know that too' I said in a jokingly voice. The dog barfed happily and I started to pet its stomach. I've never seen a dog get so happy, after a while my hand could dam.

'Sorry, no more petting for you darling' I said and leaned back on to the ground. The dog turned changed its position and now placed the head on my stomach.

'You really can't get enough of me, can you?' I said. I decided I wanted to give the dog a name.

'Are you a…Cookie?' I asked, the dog immediately made a angry barf, I took that as a no.

'Star?' I asked unsure the bark that followed was even more angry and the dog jumped up from my stomach and rolled around.

'Apple!" I happily exclaimed as the dog looked even more frustrated.

'Tinkerbell. Yes, Tinkerbell it's' I said and the dog didn't even try to protest, it just kind looked as though something had been lost. The dog went back to having it's head on my stomach.

'It's got to be so easy being a dog. Not any complications, you can just be' I said dreamy and looked at the dog.

'Oh my merlin, I'm speaking to a dog. How low and sad can a person get' I said infuriated at myself. My stomach started to ache, I hadn't eaten since lunch and I decided that I should go back to the castle. I got up, and I looked at the dog. I gave it a last petting behind the ears. My body stiffened when I meet the eyes of Tinkerbell, it was the exact same colour of grey as Sirius. I felt something in my hair, I looked up. It had started to snow.

I walked in the darkness back to the castle, leaving the dog for herself there. I felt really bad for Tinkerbell but my stomach told me to go back. It was the most amazing thing when you went in to the castle from outside because it just felt so warm, so light and comfortable. I went in to the Great Hall and there were many people still left eating at their house tables. I sat down at the Gryffindor one next to Dorcas. I was just starting to eat, **putting the fork with the meat in my mouth when James and Remus came.**

**'Have any of you seen Sirius?" Remus asked **

**"No" Mary replied**

**"I haven't seen him during the dinner" Alice said. At that moment Sirius walked in through the doors to the hall. And what's more was that he apparently also had been out since he was covered in snow. **

The weather had made students more anxious in the lesson, they wanted to go out and mess around in the snow. The teacher started to get inpatient of student's having no concentration in class when there was just a couple month left of school. It was getting really cold to walk around in the castle in just school uniform.

I sat in the library studying with Remus, usually it was he who helped me but now it was Arithmancywhich was my strongest subject.

'So, if you do that then you'll see that it equals 10' I explained to him.

'Thank you Becky' He said

'No problems' I said and smiled.

'Hey, do you know what Sirius, James and Peter is up to?' I asked. I had been starting to worry these last days because every time I saw them they were hiding behind that potions books and I knew they were planning something big. Big which meant something very mischievous and could get them in loads of trouble.

'What do you mean?' Remus asked.

'What I mean is that they're planning something in the way they're now chatting each other in the corners' I said firm. Remus looked both relived and angry at this.

'I'm sure it's nothing big' He said but something in his voice told me he wasn't sure.

'They have been using Snape's book' I said, mostly to my self but Remus heard this.

'The potion book? Uhm, I need to go see you Becky' He said in a hurry and picked up his bag and left. I had no clue what had just happened. Had I said something? I didn't like when people just hastily disappeared. I was just about to continue the homework when Lily sat down in front of me where Remus had sat.

"I think I'm falling in love with James" She said. My jaw fell to the floor.

"ARE YOU JOKING ME?" I screamed, not realising that we were actually in the library. But of course, Mr Harper who was the librarian knew this and went straight to us. He was a old man with grey hair.

'Girls, this is a library. Get out now!" he said strict and none of us dared to complain. When we went out Lily broke out in laughter.

"Th…is i..s. sooooo f…unnnny" She said, not getting any breath

"SO are you and James a couple?" I asked

"That's the funny part. I was just messing, the idea of me falling in love with James is absurd as Dumbledore in a bikini" She said. I was silent for a moment thinking of what she just said. I started to laugh hysterically in the middle of the hall to Lily started to laugh more when she saw me laughing and suddenly we were almost rolling around on the floor.

* * *

1) I'm really sorry this wasn't longer but I couldn't think of any scene or words to add. I promise I will make the next one longer

2)Yes, I did rename Sirius to Tinkerbell becuase it was just a opportunity I couldn' t miss

3) Something weird happend so that some of the text is in bold. I didn't do it on purpose xD

And oh, another clearification. I didn't realise I had put two name for Becky's bitchy friend, Helena and Erin the correct one is Erin. I'm sorry with all these double name it was just because I had started to write another story that had that intro and the characters had others name. However I decided not to but I used the scene for this story so that's why ( Thank you James For Me )

That's all, Hope you're all good =)


	10. In The Middle

It was around midnight I was in my dormitories together with the other girls and playing truth or dare. I had never liked that game, it made me uncomfortable so I was just sitting on the side. I mean, there's better ways to find out about a person life than with a stupid game and it also made you feel insecure if you got asked 'how many guys have you kissed' or if you were made to do something.

'Lily, truth or dare?' Dorcas asked.

'Truth' She answered.

'Do you…have a thing for Snape?' Dorcas asked.

'NO. How many times do I have to tell you…' She said pretending to be annoyed. Lily now looked around.

'Alice. Truth or dare?' She asked. Alice thought for a moment.

'Dare' She answered.

'You shall kiss…Frank' Lily said with a grin on her face.

'Please Lily…'Alice pleaded

'If you don't want to do it, don't do it. But do you realise what a opportunity this is? See, you kiss him, if he kiss you back he loves you if he doesn't you just say it was a dare.' Lily explained.

'That doesn't sound to bad actually' Alice said thoughtfully.

'But we all now there is no way Frank can resist Alice' Dorcas said

'Alice and Frank sitting an a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g' Mary stared to sing. I went to the window. It was a wonderful night. The half moon lit up the night sky. There was a howling. I jumped.

'Did you hear that?' I asked them

'Hear what?'Alice asked

'The howl' I said

'Are you sure you just not going mad?' Lily asked. I thought for a second, I probably just imagined it.

'Ah well, I'm calling it a night, I'm dead tired' Alice said.

'Sound like a plan' Dorcas said and it didn't take long after until the light went off and we were all sleeping.

The following day was a Saturday. It was one of those cold snow days and you just wanted to stay inside. I was first one up, I lay in my bed for a while and decided to get up and dressed. I went for black jeans and a deep purple sweater and I put my hair in a ponny tail. As I walked down I could hear people screaming for the common room. I thought it rather odd that I hadn't heard them. I slowly walked down the staircase.

'HOW CAN YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT' It was voice I recognized, it was Remus so the other people had to be the rest of the Marauders I presumed but what the heck were they arguing about.

'YOU didn't hear what he was saying' Another voice said, I could probably recognize it from a group of thousand people.

'I don't care. That doesn't make you right to throw him right into his death. If it wasn't for-' At that moment I had pressed myself so hard against the wall and lost my grip and for the second time in a couple of months fallen down the staircase and now interrupted when Remus had been speaking. They all looked at me. Remus looked furious it was quite frightening actually I had never seen him like that, James looked as he was in a battle with himself, Sirius looked determined and Peter…didn't look anything different or maybe a bit sad.

'How much of that did you hear Becky?' Remus asked me looking straight at me. He looked worse than I've ever seen him.

'Uhm…not much' I said, it was the first time Remus had made me feel insecure. He suddenely decided to leave and he went passed me and up the staircase, James came after. So I was alone in the common room together with Sirius and Peter.

'What was that all about?' I asked, but I didn't expect any answer

'Don't worry your sweet head about it darling' Sirius said, and of course I went all tomato again. I could sense a annoyence in his voice, I didn't know if it was me or the fight.

'So you wanna join me and Peter for breakfast?' He asked. I shrugged my shoulders as a yes. As we walked out of the common room my eyes went to the notice board. There was two new ones since I last checked. One regarding a Hogsmeade meeting occurring soon and the other one was a list where you said if you were planning to stay over the winter brek at Hogwarts. I knew I wasn't going to stay here. I always loved spending Christmas with my family, that was what made Christmas…Christmas.

A few moments later I was sitting in the Great Hall eating breakfast together with Sirius and Peter. I had discovered it to be quite irritating to eat breakfast with Sirius because all of these girls immediatliy created a group over him. He was enjoying it too I could see. .When James and Remus came in there was a big tension hanging in the air. Even though I had no clue what this was all about I defintley knew that this wasn't to blow over after a day. They sat down as far as possible from us. It annoyed me I didn't know the reason why the Marauders all have decided to hate each other. The thing was that everything was fine yesterday so it must have been something during the night I realized.

After one week there was to groups dividing, it was me, Sirius and Peter and James, Remus and I'll have to say Lily. What really trigged me was that Lily obviously knew what the whole disagreement was about and I didn't. But me and Lily were still friends, luckily it was more of she just being with James and Remus a lot but we still talked, sat next to each other at lessons and so on. What really killed me was Remus. We didn't speak to each other anymore and he defitnatly avoided me. I presume it was because I was spending so much time with Sirius and Peter. It felt weird and akward being in the middle like this. I had just kind of been dragged in and it felt to late to stop. I hated fighting. It made me nervous, insecure and just depressed.

It was lunch break and me and Sirius were sitting in the common room. We're all alone, most people were eating, studying in the library or perhaps in the grounds although I doubted it. It was strange how normal having a conversation with Sirius had gotten. Sure, I still stutted and made a fool of myself but it was just more natural to talk with him.

'Are you staying here on Christmas?' I asked him as I was reading a trangsfiguration book.

'I was going to spend it with James. Now I don't know' He said. I looked up from by book, I didn't want to ask him if he wanted to stay with my family but I was terrified he would say no, and also if he said yes he would have to meet my family and therefor, that's something I didn't want to happen. I decided to someway or another I needed make the Marauders friends again.

'And you?' He asked me

'I'm spending it with my family' I said.

'Would you mind helping me with the transfiguration homework?' He asked.

'Sure, you're actually going to do homework?' I asked with a sarcastic tone.

'Me? Not doing homework? Now, that's a horrifying thought' He said jokingly.

'All right I'll help you.'

The rest of the break I explained it to him, and I was shocked to see that he caught it up very quikly.

'Wow, you're a good learner Sirius' I said, a bit embarrassed over making a compliment.

'No, you're just a good teacher Becks. Seriously, you and Remus should team up and take over the school' He said, my cheeks started to flush.

'Thank you. We better go to class now' I said and he nodded as I picked up my bag.

'Oh, Becky what do you say about going to Hogsmeade with me?' Sirius asked nonchalant. It felt as if my heart stopped. Was…Sirus asking me out on a date? Nah, that couldn't be.

'Ehum, just you and me?' I asked timidly.

'Yes' He said firm. I almost dropped all my things. I was in shock.

'So what do you say?' He asked me after a while when I was just acting like a lunatic staring in shock at him.

'Y..Yes' I said, my cheeks started to fell more red now.

'Great, I've been wondering how to ask Denise Thatchard in Hufflepuff and I relaised the best way to make her go out with me is by making her jealous. And since you're like the only girl I know here who is a real friend, one of the few girls that hasn't flirted with me you won't take it bad' He said and started to walk. I was standing still in the commonroom. WOW, I had once more totally misinterpited a situation and it was ironic how wrong he was about me. Didn't it show that I was falling for him?

It was a Tuesday morning when I started my plans. All of us had Defence Against Dark Arts so my plan was to first of all steal James and Remus, or Peter and Sirius books whatever what was easiest for me. Because everyone had assaigned seats, or well not as much assaigned as it was more of the seat you pick at the begging of the term you'll need to sit the whole year and because of two of them wouldn't have their books they would need to share with the other two. I was proud that I had discovered this master plan.

So, when everyone had gone to breakfast I excused myself saying that I just needed a couple minutes to read so Sirius and Peter could go without me. The Gryffindor common room was comptletly empty. I don't know why but I decided to tip toe to the guys dormitory which was on the top of the stairs. I

opened the door and went in. Thank merlin for the person that made it possible for girls to walk in the guys dormitory but not the guys to walk in to the girls. All about old fashioned statements. I knew where they all slept. First, Frank to the left, then beside Frank, Remus's bed, next on to the right of Remus was Sirius, the right one on Sirius side was James's bed, then Peter's bed next to Peter was Richard Wilson's bed. I saw Remus's Defence Against Dark Arts book laying on his bedside table so I went their and took it.

I saw James' book laying in his luggage. As I dived to grab it someone opened the door I quikley dove under one of the beds. From under the bed I could se someone's shoes although I couldn't make out who it was. Then afterwards came a pair of ballerina shoes, a girl's shoes. Their bodies got closer and closer until they were only millimeters away from each other. Then it was quiet until they started to kiss. Euw. I was turning my head around when I saw a pink bra lying beside me. HOW the heck would…oh, never mind.

'We probably should go back to the breakfast now' A voice said, and I was surprised I had been sure that it be Sirius's voice…but this was Frank's. But wasn't he in love with Alice? They were perfect for each other. I wanted to get up and smack him.

'Eh, a couple more minutes won't kill them' The girl said and I almost screamed of joy – it was Alice. Then I relaised I be stuck here for more minutes and the joy killed. At least they weren't in the next level because that be awful. After exactly five minutes and 45 seconds they were done making out and they left the dormetriy.

I crawled my way out of the bed and I saw whose bed it was, it was Sirius'. It was Sirius' bed that had a pink bra under it. Not that it didn't surprise me, he was known for it but it just took me aback a bit. I collected my feeling and I focused on why I came here in the first place, the books. I heartless digged out the defence against dark arts in James' bag and took it. The plan was starting to feel stupid. I put both Remus' and James' books in my bag and I left the dormitory and went down to the great hall.

Mary ran towards me with a big smiled as I walked into the hall.

'Where have you been? Alice and Frank got some news. Come!' She said and grabbed my hand and lead me to the Gryffindor table. Frank and Alice was sitting holding hand and both had a smirk on their face.

'Becky, there you are. Frank and I are a offical' Alice said, I've never seen her look that happy. Now I had to act I didn't now about this. No biggie, if it wasn't the case that I've never been actress.

'…Wow….that's great' I said putting on a fake smile. They all seemed to be fooled because everyone smiled happily back and Alice said 'Isn't it?'

It was fourth period and that meant defence against dark arts. I had both the books in my bag which meant it was a bit heavier but I could manage. I walked into the lesson. Many people was already there including James and Remus. I sat down next to Dorcas. If I sat down beside James and Remus Mr Clark might say that they should read with me. That totally screw up the plans. The classroom was full now, only two seats left beside Remus and Peter. It was working better than I expected. Sirius and Peter came in, they took a look around and realized they had no choice but to sit down next to them and they did, they all looked mad. Mr Clark stepped in to the classroom.

'Hello class, page 45 to 62' He said. James and Remus raised up their hands.

'What is it Mr Potter and Lupin?' He asked

'We can't find our books' James saidn

'Books do have a tendency to act as though they have legs sometimes don't they? Well I suggest Mr Potter share with Black and Mr Luipin with Pettigrew' Mr Clark said. CLING CLING. JACKPOT. I'm so good at this.

I never expected the marauders to be friends again after the lesson, and they didn't. The key thing was that they had to work together and couldn't ignore what they was saying. This was an improvement.

I was walking in the hallways, I just had my last lesson and I was looking for something to do. Remus was coming towards me. I just hated not being able to talk to him and this coldness that was between us now. I decided to confront him, something I hated to do but I just needed to do it.

'Remus' I said and he looked at me and stopped.

'Please tell me what this fight is about or at least talk about it with the others, it's so hard being in the middle like this' I said. He gave me a glace back.

'You don't understand what happened.' He said

'Well then, help me too' I said

'I can't I just can't. What Sirius, Peter and James was cruel, mean and stupid' he said

'Well then aren't you mad at James?!' I asked confused.

'Because he understand what was so wrong' He said and walked away. I wished I hadn't gotten involve in all this.

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Firstly, thank you for alll the reviews and the favourising and alerting. Readign the reviews make me so happy and is what makes me contiune writing so an extra thanks to that =D

Next Chapter is going to be in Sirius POV.

I don't know how soon I'll be able to update. It feels like there is going to be a lot of work next week but not unbearable.

Movie Tip: The Black Baloon

Booktip: The Millenium series ( The girl with a dragon tattoo, etc ) It's a really good criminal book series I think. But many people doesn't like crimes =) I do though and even though the english is really horrible translated from swedish it's a good book =)

Thank You!


	11. Hot and Cold

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Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER

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**Sirius POV**

I sat by my self in the common room, I didn't like siiting on my own and wonderd where Becky might be. There were many other people room but not many I actullay wanted to speak to. James and Remus were sitting and playing wizard chess. We still weren't on speaking terms. It was weird, how just that one night that the whole dynamic of the Maruaders, the invincible marauders had changed. But it be over soon, right? Sooner or later one of us had to say that we were just stubborn and stupid and everything be back to normal? We never fought. The whole Remus being a werewolf and we all helping him had made us tight and I couldn't' actuly rememeber the last time we had fought with each other.

I wasn't good with boredom. I constantly needed to do something to keep myself entertained. As I always had James, Remus and Peter do fill in those empty spacese I was feeling so restless I was almost exploding to do something. Anything. I even study….I'll try to study. If I had a hot girl teaching me. Speaking of hot girls, there was a really hot fitfth year girl walking towards me. Her name was Tara. I knew the name of every girl in the school. I can't decide if that's good or more sad thing to know. She had a beautiful smile on as she sat down next to me. Looks like I won't be bored for too long now.

It was really cold. Snow had since long time come and the landscape was covered in white. As per usual McGongall hold her speech before we went to Hogsmead. Was it possible that woman had come up with even more rules after like a hundred years? She can even make something fun like going to Hogsmead fun. But to be honest she wasn't that bad. She was the first one to ever punish me. My parents had kind of given up on me so they don't bother. They don't bother with anything about me. I'm like air to them, so I treat them as air too.

'So remember to keep in groups. No snowball fights, we don't want to ruin the windows of the shops.' She said as final words, although she probably knew no one listend and there defintley will be snowball fights.

'So should we go?' I asked Becky who was standing beside me, she gave me a nod and we started to walk. I had gotten closer to Becky during this fight and one thing I soon realised though that she probably always will be shy and timid. It didn't bother anymore. She is just being her. I 'm not sure if she likes me though, but it has been nice to have someone like her around know. She's one of those persons that listens and observers.

We got to the Hogsmeade Village. I really liked it here. Especially now at Christmas when it lit up when it got dark, when you got drink warm choclate, there was offers on christmas food and presents, you could hear people singing and the decorations that was colourful. I've never been much for a christmas person since all of the Christmases I had in my life have been filled with arguments, all of my family coming for dinner at christmas and the best present my parents have ever given me was me being locked in my room the whole christmas. Which is kind of saying something. And I was ten years old. Since coming to Hogwarts I spent all of my christmases at the Potter family but I guess this year I just have to stay at the castle. I didn't mind it too much, Hogwarts was my home and where I had my own family.

'So where do you want to go?' Becky asked me.

'You choose' I said, I had a feeling she was going to say "I don't mind, you choose"

'Well, where to you think Denise will be?' She asked med. Wow, she went right to the point didnt't she?

'Madame Pudifoot's but there is no chance I'm going inside there. Let's go to Dervish and Banges' I said and for a moment I thought she looked relived when I said we weren't going to Madame Pudifoot's.

'Sounds good' She said.

Dervish and Banges is quite a big store. It is located on the end of the Hogsmead village and sells magical instruments and other stuff. I liked it there, there wasn't too much people but there still people enough that it was hard to find a quiet moment.

We looked through the stuff there for a while I eneded up buying a new snekoscope and Becky bought a foe-glass. We started to walk up the street again and passed the Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop.

'Becky, can you just wait outisde for a sec?' I asked her as I had realised I needed to buy her something for christmas.

'Sure?' She asked puzzled. I didn't want to leave her by herself for too long and I walked in the store rapid. There wasn't many people. There was classical music playing. This was perfect I thought. I looked around, trying to find a good quill but I didn't know what that would include. There was a rater large man sitting behind the counter.

'Hi, I need some help' I said

'What do you need help with?' The man asked bored

'I need to buy quill for my friend for christmas present so I want one of your best' I said.

'We have a peacok quill if that may intrest you?' He asked me. I thought for a second. No, that was defiantly to extravagant, Becky wouldn't use it.

'Something more subtle' I said

'We got a green and purple humming bird feather quill' He said

'That's perfect'

I payed for the quill and went out to Becky I could see that see that she was cold.

'How about going to The Three Broomsticks?' I asked her knowing it would be warm there.

'That sounds amazing' She said and I smiled, I noticed she didn't have a scarf on so I took mine off and twirled around her neck. She looked terrified.

'I thought you were cold' I said

'T...hank you' She said

The Three Broomsticks is absolutely with any doubt the best place at Hogsmeade. It has a warmness, is always the most crowded place, loud music and of course honeyduke's beer. We walked in to the store, with the usually pinging sound in the door as we walked in. It was crowded with many students and teachers sitting around the tables chatting happily to each other. A thin curly red-haired woman walked to us.

'just two?' She asked

'Yes' I answered and she showed us to a table with two seats we orderd to hot choclates'. Becky to off her jacket and sat down.

'You know, I'm starting to feel the Christmas spirit' I said and there was a interpret of a smile on her face.

'Really, and what has made you in that spirit?' She asked me

'Oh, a bit of this and that' He said

'Mysterious are we?' She joked and I laughed. Becky barley made jokes, this must be the second I've heard but when she did it always made me smile. I wasn't sure if it was because of her jokes or the fact that she was making a joke that made me happy.

'Yes' I said and the waitress came back with the drinks of hot chocolate. She gave me a sweet smile and tried to flirt with me but I ignored it.

Our chocolates had cooled down and increased when Becky suddenly stiffened at her seat.

'What is it?' I asked her.

'Denise is there' She said as her eyes went to the entrance. I looked the same way, and yes there was Denise. Denise was a wavy black haired athletic sixth year Rawenclaw, absolutely gorgeous. Her brown eyes looked at me and then Becky. She was with a bunch of her friends. The waitress showed them to a table really close to ours. She gave me long stares. I realised if I needed to make her jealous I must do it now. Becky's hazel eyes glared at me full with insecurity. I leaned forward and I put my hand over Becky's, which were surprisingly warm and soft. She was shaking. Did Becky really find me so repulsive?

I could feel Denise eyes looking intensely at us and as I leaned even more forward Becky lost her balance and fell off her chair, since I was holding her hand my body fell down to and I landed over her. She was pursing her lips tight, her cheeks getting redder and redder by the second. She smelled of honey and sweetness. I could see how embarrassed she was but to joke around I leaned over her body a bit longer. I decided to stop her misery and I stood up. She was still on the floor so I lend out a hand which she hestantitly took and dragged herself up. She must really not like me. Denise was looking at us with her jaw on the floor. I started to laugh when I realised why, she couldn't from her angle see exactly what had happened so for her it just looked as though we decided to have a make up session on the floor which was just…absurd considering how Becky felt for me.

My plan had worked in any way, Denise was definitely jealous.

'So aren't you going to her now?' Becky asked. I thought for a second.

'No, let's go out' I said. Denise just didn't seem so important anymore. Becky looked befuddled but she took her jacket and we walked out. She probably thought this was part of my plan to get Denise. It was now dark outside and a lot more chilly many people had started to walk back to the castle.

'Should we go back?' Becky asked and I nodded. As we started to walk I groped in the snow and made a small snowball. I aimed it for Becky's jacket and it hit. She turned around.

'Hey' She said and there was a certain playfulness in her tone. I made another one and aimed it for her jeans.

'You know Mrs McGongall told us not to throw snowballs' She said in serious voice. You know, Becky could totally be Mrs McGongall's daughter.

'Since when does anyone listen to that rule? None has ever gotten in trouble for it. And besides we can't actually hit and store windows here' I said and Becky looked more relaxed. I walked towards her, she went quiet and we started to walk again. After five minutes she bent down to retie her shoelaces. I was standing in front of her and I could feel something cold in my hair. I turned around to see Becky standing with a big smile on her face with snow in her hands.

'You're so going to regret that' I said joking

'Really?' Becky said with a smile on her as she shaped the snow to a ball and hit it on my jacket. This time I dived in the snow again and made snowballs, Becky did too. We ran around in the snow throwing snowballs at each other. At the end we were both covered in snow in our hair, face and clothes. We stopped when our bodies started to ache and we were wet. I put my arm around her.

'I didn't know you could be so mischievous love' I said as she blushed for the second time.

It was just three days until the break. That meant that we students were kind of going hyperactive and even the teacher didn't care too much or well most teachers there are sadly those whom enjoy torturing teenagers.

It was Charms and Mr Flitwick was assigning us in groups. I couldn't hear what the assignment was just that he was dividing us into groups, boring. I hated when teachers put us in group as if we were 10 years old. I liked being in group but not if I don't get to choose.

'Sirius Black' He said I looked up.

'You work with Mr Snape' he said calmly.

'What, what?!' I asked. This got to be karma. From previous experiences I knew complaing about your partner to your teacher never helped. Snape reluctant sat down beside me.

'So what is it what were are supposed to do?' I asked him.

'Did you listen to a single word Mr Flitwick said?' He asked me annoyed, I shock my head.

'Great…just great. Is there anyone more arrogant and self absorbed than you and Potter?' He asked. To be honest I couldn't even be bothered to slap him.

'You should know that Potter saved your life. If it was me, you wouldn't be here' I said in a low voice.

'That makes me feel so much better' He said sarcastic.

'So' I said

'So what?'

'The bloody assignment'

'We're just supposed to do the aguamenti charm but I guess that too hard to you' He said

'Is not' I said

'Is too'

'Is not'

'Prove it' He said. Is he going to change his mind or what? I drew out my wand pointed it at the bowl in front of me. As I was waving my hand and about to say the charm my eyes stuck on Becky. She was doing the charm together with Mary. It then accoured to me that in a way Snape and Becky where alike except from the fact I actually liked Becky, she was not a loner but she liked being alone which Snape did also, she always had her nose together in a book and she was just…different from everyone one else. I didn't compare them to be mean. It wasn't as if I didn't like her because I really did. She grown on me and there's no way Snape would ever in this galaxy be considered be my friend because he was an annoying twit.

But the fact was that how horrible it sounded it could have been Becky that was the victim in the shrieking shack. The person that could have died because of a stupid prank. I started to see now how stupid this fight I had with Remus and James was because I really hadn't gotten argument. Snape could have died and even if he wasn't special to me, he might be special for someone else. The more I thought of it, the more I realised I have been acting like a stubborn stupid git. Snape was beginning to sound more human by the second.

'Are you going to do it or try to pose so that more pathetique girls will cue for you?' Snape asked and he was suddenly not sounding so human any more.

'Aguamenti!' I said and waved. Nothing happened. Snape's annoying laughter was audible.

'Yeah…I was meaning to do that'

I decided right after class to talk with Remus and James. I saw them going out of class and I ran after them. They looked back.

'Remus. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for risking Snape's life. Sorry for doing a prank at your and Snape's expense. Sorry for, well just being an arse really' I said. He looked at me, stunned.

'Want to to join us and go to Hagrid?' James asked after a while. I looked at Remus, I wanted him to not be mad at me too.

'Yeah…come' He said

'You forgive me…just like that?' I asked him. I was surprised. I never thought it work.

'James joke were getting boring' He said relaxed and gave me a smile as James hit him playfully in the arm.

It was the last dinner before the break. Dumbledore had just had his speech and everyone was going in for the food. I looked at James' empty plate.

'James, mate why aren't you eating?' I asked him.

'I'm saving myself for dessert' He said as if it was the most obvious thing.

'I'm not even going to ask question about your freakish diets' I said. I felt happy. I was spending Christmas at the Pottter's and everything had gone back to normal.

'Who are coming to the ball at your house James?' Peter asked. Every New Year's the Potter's had a ball at their house and it was legendary almost.

'Well, you guys, a bunch of boring people and oh, Becky is coming' He answered. James didn't have a habit of inviting people from school excepts us there since well mainly, his parents was there. But yearly he did also ask Lily, who shocking always said different variations of no.

'Her sister is married to my cousin, beside she's cool' he said when he saw surprised our faces. He was doing his usual habit of redirecting his hair.

'I forget that whole cousin sister thing, that's right of course she should be there' I said.

'Did you ask Lily this year also?' Peter asked James.

'Of course I did and she said there's not a chance in hell. You know sometimes I wonder why I try. But then I see her' He said in a dwell. Lily had stopped being with Remus and James again, probably because the fight was over and the reason I think she had been socialising with them was because she was appreciate over what they done for Snape but now went back to hating Snape again. James was convinced that she had sent him some kind of sign that she liked him by doing this.

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It's soo hard writing from a guys pov. And I hope my English is readable since I wrote most of this story like 1:30am. =P And yay, the fight is over!

THANK YOU, THANK YOU too everyone who has reviewed. You're amazing. And also thanks for everyone putting this on alert and favourousing it. And thanks for everyone who has taken time to read the story:D

I've no clue when my next update will be. I'm a bit busy this week. Probably will for a while. But break is here soon, 2 weeks of nothing.  
And oh, if anyone cares; I've started with like a short short story story called "Close Up". Did that make any sense at all?XD It's just diffrent short stories with various genres, pairings, eras, charcters and so on:D


	12. Dream World Photograph

Disclaimer: I do of course not own Harry Potter.

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From the compartment on the Hogwarts train back to Kings Cross the contures of the mountains sooner and sooner started to fade. I was sharing a compartment with Lily, Mary, Alice, Frank and Dorcas. Alice and Frank sat most of the time kissing or gazing in to each other eyes, saying that how they miss another. Lily had just started talking about how Muggle's spend Christmas.

'Wait, so you mean that one person actually dresses up in a red suit, fake beard and pretend to be someone and give people presents?' I asked her

'Yes, although when you put it like that it sounds very strange' Lily said

'Well that's because it's' Dorcas said

'And you are celebrating it because some guy was born then?' Mary asked confused.

'Well, it wasn't "some " guy. In the bible…'Lily started

'That's the book that tells about some one named cod who created earth and all living things, right?' Dorcas asked

'It's God and yes there it says he created and all living things. And in there it also says that one night God made a woman called Mary pregnant' Lily said and everyones eyes went to Mary.

'I'm not pregnant' Mary yield.

'Anyway, the book says that Jesus, who is the child of God was born on Christmas eve' Lily said calm

'Are those muggles on some drug or?' I joked

'No. Maybe. A few. Probably. A lot. Majority' Lily said and at that time the lady came with the trolley of candy.

'Anything from the trolley?' She called out. Lily and Mary went out to get some candy I was just about to do that when Dorcas grabbed my hand.

'Don't you dare leave me alone with those two' Dorcas said pointing at Frank and Alice who was busy embracing each other.

'All right, wasn't like I was dying for candy' I said honestly

'Thank you'

Mary came back by her own.

'Where did Lily go?' I asked

'Oh, she had promised Snape to sit with him' She explained.

The rest of the train ride was quiet and calm. We finally arrived at the 9/4 platform. I was happy to spend the Christmas with my family, I had missed them a lot. I said good bye and merry Christmas to Dorcas, Mary, Frank and Alice and then went on to go off the train and searched for my family on the plaform. I could see my mum's familiar brown coat, my dad in his buissinuess clothes and Anna pregnant. WHAT. I had to look again but there I could see my sister with a large tummy which meant that she was no doubt pregnant. I walked to them.

'Why didn't you guys say anything?' I asked a bit mad

'Because we wanted it to be a surprise for you that you're going to be a aunt' Anna said and smiled. I hugged her.

'I guess a congratulations is in order' I said

'Thank you' She said. My eyes went across the platform. I could see Sirius standing with his brother and James on the platform, Regulus and his parents. Regulus was like Sirius also handsome but he had a more cleaned and I guess more snobby look about him. I saw Mr and Mrs Black hugging Regulus proudly. Then Sirius, who looked out of place said something. His parents just gave him a quick dirty look and said something fast. Sirius didn't want to spend christmas at his house, he was spending it with James' family and I couldn't say I blame him for it when I saw how is parents treated him. Sirius and James then walked away leaving the three who started to move and walked out of the platform happily. Suddenly Remus was infront of me.

'Merry Christmas Becky, I see you at the Potter's ball' He said and hugged me.

'Merry Christmas you too' I said smiling and he walked back to his family. My parents hadn't anything against Remus, the opposite in fact. They were constantly making jokes of how me and Remus would make a cute couple. I didn't notice Sirius and James coming.

'Hi Becky' James said.

'Hi' I said. My parents looked suspecting at both James and Sirius.

'We just came to say happy holidays and that you can't in anyway lure you way out of the ball' Sirius said as he hugged me. Merlin, how I wished the hug could last forever. I never wanted him to let go. But life is unfair. James did the same thing.

'Have a nice Christmas you too. I'll see if I can come up with some excuse for the ball if not then I won't have any choice' I said. They both smiled and walked to Mr and Mrs Potter but my dad sadly thought it was time for him to say something.

'If any of you boys hurt Becky then I'll personally make sure you'll end up at Azkaban' He said. I buried my hands in my face. Please. Tell. Me. He. Didn't. Say. That. But judging by Sirius and James reaction it was way to obvious they had.

'No sir' They said and quickly walked away. I couldn't say I blamed them.

'So now we don't only have to deal with Alva's admirers but yours too?' My mum said with a smile

'Please. I do not have admirers. They are my friends' I said persusasive.

'Becky, I think we all know what "friend" mean' Anna said jokingly

'Not you too'

Christmas day was here in three days. I was sitting at the breakfasttable with Anna and I put another spoon of ceral in my mouth.

'So, about that guy you liked' Anna said. I almost chocked on the cereal.

'W-hat guy?' I asked. Please don't say Sirius. Please don't say Sirius.

'You know; the tall one the other day with dark brown hair. Very handsome I must say' Anna said. Shit. That was definetly Sirius.

'I have no clue what you're taking about' I said, but even I could sense the lie ain my words and my cheeks were also starting to get warm.

'Sure you don't' Anna said tantalising. I don't get it; how can Anna and Dumbledore see it both so fast but Sirius not?

'So do you want to go to Diagon Alley now?' She asked me and I nodded. I walked to my room, chaning from my big pyjamas t shirt into a brown skirt, washed pink jumper and purple cloak. I brushed my hair quikly and went down to the living room to see Anna standing in front of the fireplace. My parents where both at work and Alva had a new boy friend and had apparently moved over here. Anna had her own house with Alexander but she was her often, probably because Alexander worked and since she was pregnant mom and dad could take care of her here. It was weird to see Anna having a big stumach every time I saw her now and I was excited to become a aunt.

'Ready?' She asked me and I nodded. She grabbed a handful of the floo powder, stepped into the firplace as she dropped the floo powder and exclaimed

'Diagon Alley'. When she had disaperd I also took the floo powder that we had over the firplace in a jar, walked into the firplace as the floo powder dropped to the floor I said ' Diagon Alley'.

I had never got the thing with floo powder. It was quick, sure but it made me dizzy and naoucious, It was a relief when I finally landed in the fireplace of the Leaky Cauldron. I stood up and cleaned up the dirt on my clothes. I saw my sister waving in front of me, I waved back. We said hello to Tom in the bar and then went on too the empty hall with the brick wall. Anna grabbed her wand from her bag and let it touch on certain bricks of the wall. The wall opened and in front of us was Diagon Alley. I loved the small little shops and the people hurrying to buy presents. There was the cinnamon smell in the air and Christmas songs playing.

'Okay, I need to go to Alexander's store. Want to meet me there in a two hours?' She asked me I nodded and we went our separate ways. I was in the hunt for Christmas presents.

I had a cooking book for mum, wine glasses for dad, a diadem for Alva, a cloak for babies to Anna and also a maternity book, a vintage ring for Lily, some kind of thing to clean the broom with for James and ink with rainbow colour's for Peter. It wasn't the best presents but it was only so much money I could spend and I didn't even know if all of them would get my Christmas present. The only ones left was the hardest ones, Sirius and Remus presents. Sirius because I wanted to give him something nice but not to nice that it would be obvious I liked him and Remus because I wanted to give him something nice that didn't cost too much. I walked along the road. No store caught my eye. I was starting to get impatient. I walked into the book store again. I loved the bookstore and I looked around the shells. I laughed when I saw the book "How To Charm A Witch". I resisted the urge to buy it. As I continued I saw a brand new book, it was a Defence Against Dark Arts. It was perfect. I payed for the book, now it was only Sirius's gift remaining. I bit my lip. What was I going to buy? I didn't have enough time. It was even ten minutes past the time that I was supposed to go to Alexander's store. Well, he probably hadn't bought me a present, right? I walked to Alexander's store. It was quite small but with a lot of people in it. I saw him behind the counter with Anna. He smiled when he saw me.

'Oi, hey Becky' He said.

'Hello' I walked to them

'So did you find everything you need?' My sister asked.

'Well, everything but one present' I said. That's when my eyes went to the counter desk. I could see a photography of a rainforest. When I looked more I could feel the sound and the smell of it too.

'What is that?' I asked poiting at the photograph.

'Ah, that is what I call dream-world-photograph. You see when you look at it will show you a place you desire to be at that moment.

'Really?' I said fascinated.

'Do you want it?' He asked

'Are you sure you don't want it?' I asked

'Totally. I can just look at Anna and I have the dream world I want' He said and looked into Anna's eyes.

'Awe' Anna said and they kissed

'Euw. Public display of affection' I said and they stopped. Anna laughed. Alexander handed me the photo.

'Thank you Alex' I said

'No problems'

'I'll just go with Becky and pick some stuff then I'll see you at home' Anna said and they kissed again. Teenagers, what can you do?

I had found the christmas present for Sirius, the Dream-World-Photograph.

I woke up on Christmas day with excitement. There was not a noise outside. I could smell the porridge from downstairs. I quickly got up and put my morning frock on. I ran down the stair to the kitchen. My mum was standing making porridge, my dad and Alexander was in a discussion, Anna was looking out through the window and Alva was reading Witch Weekly. Under the three there was a bundle of presents.

'Merry Christmas Becky' My mum said and hugged me.

'Merry Christmas you too' I said. I hugged everyone and wishing them a merry Christmas. My mum was ready with the porridge and we all sat down the table to eat it and drink coffee.

'I've checked and there's a lot of presents to you Becky' My mum said.

'Really?' I asked

'Let's just hope one of those boy haven't given you a ring because then –' My dad started.

'Dad, I'm pretty convinced I won't get a ring in the near future' I said.

'Look, outside. It's snowing!' Alva said. I looked out, and very well it had started to snow outside. It was normal that it be snow around the Hogwarts castle but here it wasn't. The snow usually came in January or February and it didn't last long.

'Well, I think it's time for the presents' My dad said.

We had a tradition of everyone putting in their name in a hat and the person that got drawn had to give out the presents. It was Alexander. Alva had turned on music and it was a nice feeling to be sitting all gathered, listening to music, drinking coffee and seeing the snowfall.

I got several books, robes, clothes, a bag, jewellery, a small perfume bottle from Lily, a armband with a berlock of a heart by Remus that's has got to be expensive and a photograph with me and the marauders in a really nice frame from James. There was only one gift left.

'Let's see who this too? Oh, it says "to Becky" "From a serious person"' Alexander said confused. I smiled. I couldn't believe Sirius has got me a present. I ripped the wrapping paper off. It was a quill. But not one of those cheap boring ones. It was shimmering in blue and green. There was a note. I read it.

_Because you're the cutest thing when you blush. I hope you like it, I'm not used to buying girl's present. //Sirius._

My heart melted. Sirius just said I was the cutest thing.

'Hey, what does it say?' Alva asked.

'Oh, nothing' I said

'Nothing? You are as red as dad when he has been in the sun. Let me see' She said

'No' I said firm. Alva was faster than me, she grabbed it and read it.

'Sirius…Sirius, why does the name feel familiar?' She said. Because you and him made out and merlin knows what? I took it from her and marched up to my room. It was strange, I hadn't been mad at Alva when I saw her with Sirius but now afterwards everytime I saw her I couldn't get the picture out of my head and I got annoyed at her easily.

I was in my room, reading one of those book I gotten from present when I heard something pecking on my window. I looked to see an brown owl. I walked up from my bed and opened the window. The owl placed it self on my shoulders and gave me the letter.

_Becky, I was thinking and…do you want to go to James' parents ball with me as a date? You don't need too, I mean it's okay if you don't want to. Hope you had a nice Christmas._

_Remus_

Go with Remus as a date? The thought felt like ice in my stomach. Would this ruin our relationship? But it was silly of me waiting for Sirius like this…and hadn't I gone through this discussion already? It had ended up with me getting some guy's tongue thrown in my mouth. But Remus wasn't like that. I didn't have any romantic feeling towards him, but then maybe if I go one a date I will change that?

I was confused and I didn't know what to do. I could always ask Anna. But she wasn't here. My mum wouldn't understand. That left Alva. Alva would for certain tell me to go with Remus. I started to bit my nails, a habit I had when I was nervous. I plucked the courage to grab the quill I've gotten by Sirius and I wrote my reply.

* * *

THANK U, THANK U again, all of those who has reviewed, alerted and favourised. It means a lot. And thanks everyone for taking time to read.

It was weird writing about christmas when it was sunny outside. And in Sweden we do celebrate christmas different than in a lot of diffrent cultures so therefor some of the christmas things are probably not consitant to how British celebrate theirs.

Hope you all will hava a nice easter =) As said I'm having 2 weeks of easterbreak / springbreak and all of my friends are away so I'm going to be able to write. A lot.

Movietip ( because I love giving these ) : Changeling. It's with Angelina Jolie and it was a reallly good movie. Be aware though; it's very tragic and you'll probably cry ;P


	13. Ball

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

During the days between Christmas day and New Year there had been a dozen reports of people disappearing. It was no doubt the work of Voldemort. People had been scared before of him but these days it was like everyone assumed that he or his followers would jump up on the street and murder you therefore many streets where empty, and the muggles where also scared since these reports made headlines at the muggle newspaper's. But of course they didn't know who was behind it or that these 'mysterious murders' where the work of magic, even though they had a bunch of theories in the paper.

I was standing in the mirror watching myself and my hazel eyes looked at the contour of the person in the mirror. It was the Ball tonight. My hair was let loose; I had just brushed through it. I never used make up but I stole some mascara and lip balm from Alva. The dress was quite a old one, although I never used it. It was loosed with a bow in front and in a light brown colour. I was certainly not one of those pretty girls, I wasn't cute either, I was never pleased with how I look. I thought my clothes to be ugly, I didn't like my mouth, I was too flat chested and my wavy chocolate hair was a mess sometimes. So therefore the expectations of me suddenly one night turning into this gorgeous creature over a night had after many years grow tiresome and I didn't try anymore. Tonight I looked decent. I would certainly not be turning any heads but I didn't want that either, I would just blend in. I liked blending in.

I grabbed my black cloak and I walked down the stairs to the living room. In there was my parents and Alva. They were all playing exploding snaps. There looks turned to me when they heard me. They had already change for the ball and was all dressed up in nice clothes. Alva looked stunning in her red strapless dress that made me jealous just by looking at her.

'You look very nice' My mum said and smiled. My dad nodded to her comment.

'Thank you' I said.

Alva's eyes went up and down, scanning me.

'Please not with those shoes' she said after she was finished scanning me.

'What's wrong with my shoes?' I asked her looking down at my black comfortable flat shoes I always wore.

'It's a ball Becky. Wait' She said and ran off. My dad and mum both shred their shoulders, saying that they didn't know what Alva was up to. Alva came back with a pair of golden metallic high heels in her hands. I could see where she was going with these. And no way could I wear those shoes.

'Alva. I've never gone in high heels' I said and she looked at me with a smirk.

'Really? Who was it that last Christmas tried on all my high heels and walked on a line with a book on the head?' She said.

I was so busted.

'Well there could be a number of people…' I explain, she rolled her eyes.

'Look it isn't that hard' She said as she took of the boots she was wearing and put on the heels. She started to move on a line walking down and forwards. Her blonde hair swishing as she did.

'See how I move my hips? Now you do it' she said and took of her the shoes and waved them towards me.

'Alva. No' I said

'Just try it, if it doesn't work then you don't need to wear them' She said pleading

'Fine' I said, mostly so I could be able to go as quickly as possible. I put them on and imitated what she did.

'Wow, that book on your head thing must really work' She said when I had stopped and was finished.

'So I don't look like some clown?' I asked her nervous.

'No. You can have them, they are too small for me anyways' She said, and the first time this break I didn't care about she had done with Sirius.

'Okay kids we need to go now' My dad said as he and mum had gathered around the fireplace. Alva was just walking towards them

'Alva' I said

'Yes?' She asked

'Thank you and you look amazing tonight' I said and she smiled back.

First dad took the floo powder and said the address to the Potter's, then Alva, then mum and lastly me.

As soon as I had come to the Potters the first thing I noticed was the music. It was classical. People were walking around the mansion in their dress robes. My family, including Anna in a yellow a – line shaped dress that showed off her belly and Alexander.

'You all look lovely' Anna said and smiled

'Thank you'

'C'mon everyone we need to say hello to the host and hostess' My mum said and we all followed her as she tried to find Mr and Mrs Potter. We walked up a big staircase of marble. I had always presumed the Potter's had a lot of money but this mansion must have cost a fortune. At the top of the stairs there was two doors that had been turned at the side. The room on display was full of people dancing, mingling and Christmas decorations. In other words; unbelievable. It didn't take long until we found Mr and Mrs Potter. It wasn't hard finding anyone when we had Alva with us who caught everyone's eyes. Mrs Potter was wearing an earthy coloured dress and smiled at the sight of us.

'How lovely you all could come' Mrs Potter said. She looked at me.

'Oh Becky, Remus is waiting for you at the punch table'

Remus as in Remus my date Remus.. I nodded and excused myself as I went to search for him. . It was easy to spot him. He looked adorable in his robes, his light brown hair glimmered and his amber eyes. He gave a smile when he saw me and we hugged. I had no clue if I was getting myself into something very stupid and embarrassing.

'Thank you for the present' He said

'You too, I love it' I said and showed my wrist with the bracelet on. Remus was about to say something when James and Sirius came. They also hugged me, and once again I felt as thought I didn't want to let go of Sirius. It is hard to be so near someone and not being able to say what you feel for that person.

'Sorry to interrupt your date' Sirius said with a glimmer in his eyes. Could it…be…that Sirius and James had convinced Remus to go with a date with me? Nah.  
'But thank you for you lovely gift' James said, his jet black hair lying messy as usual.

'Thank you too' I said to James

'I truly loved mine' Sirius said and gave me one of those smiles he had that could melt through my heart.

'Glad you like it. I loved yours too' I said.

'Well Padfoot let's not disturb this radiant couple' James said. Okay, I was sure they had something to do with the note now.

'Do I sense that James and Sirius had something to do with asking me out as a date?' I said pushing out a smile. Remus cheeks went a but red, not tomato red as mine do but a very subtle one.

'They helped me pluck the courage' Remus said, I nodded and at that point Mr Potter put his wand to the neck and informed that it was time to eat.

The first course was a toast with melted goat cheese wand a sweet glazing.

The main course was roast and potatoes with gravy sauce. To be honest, I've never been a fan of roast.

The dessert was without a doubt the best thing on the menu, and that was cheesecake.

It didn't take a long time after the dessert that the music started to play, now not classical to some thing more pop.

'Is it a sure bet you'll decline if I ask you to dance?' Remus said his eyes looking to mine.

'I'm afraid so' I said, and I was honestly sad. It was just that there wasn't a bone in my body that knew what rhythm is, it's in my genes. At that point Sirius and James came running.

'If-anyone-ask-for-us-we're not here' James said breathing hard.

'What have you done now?' Remus asked and they both gave out innocent expressions. If they could ever have innocent expressions.

'US? Doing something we're not allowed to like put goat cheese in a woman's bag…make the non alcohol punch…not so non alcoholic or perhaps giving the DJ a cd with rap music? Never' Sirius said

'Please tell me you didn't' Remus said.

'No comment' James said.

'Aren't you afraid you get caught?' I asked them and they gave out a laugh.

'Becky, you see it doesn't ever mather anymore' Sirius said

'Because even if we didn't do a thing. We get blamed' James said

"But that's…awful' I said

'No that's what you get after pranking people several years. OI, Padfoot the eagle is closing in I reapeat, the eagle is closing in' James said and Sirius looked at him.

'James, how many times do I have to tell you. We're NOT part of the FBI' Sirius said and gave a fake sigh.

'But…you said' James said pretending to be sad, but as soon as the "eagle" or in this case James mum went closer they ran away again.

'I swear, there are days when I wonder how I befriended them in first place' Remus said and I chuckled. From the corners of my eye I could see something so awful even Voldemort would kill himself if he saw it. It was my dad doing the moves for 'Staying Alive' because the song had started. I let out a gasp of horror. ...again. Remus had seen something was wrong with me.

'What has happened?' He asked. I pointed in the direction of my dad and buried myself in my hands. I could hear Remus give out a light laughter.

'It'.funny' I said and he grabbed my hand.

'Come' He said and I did as he said. Because no way I wanted to be in the same room as my dad anymore.

He took me through the room and there it was an door. Sweet, I could just escape. Great plan Remus. We walked down the stairs to the garden. There was light to lit up the amazing garden, it was full of different flowers and trees.

'Wow' I said as we passed pond with frogs and leafs.

'Becky, there is kind of a reason why I brought you out here' He started.

'Yeah to get my escape from dad' I said and smiled.

'No, not really' He said nervous.

'T..then why?' I asked. His eyes looked at me as he pressed his hand tight against mine.

'Because' He said and he got closer to me. I could hear my heart beating. My lips parted, and we kissed. His kiss was unlike Henry's not creepy. It was nice, sweet and comfortable. We stood close to each other, just looking and didn't say a word. Then suddenly he looked lightning struck.

'I'm sorry Becky' he said, and this was an rather odd comment to say after a kiss.

'For what?' I asked him hesitant.

'Because I'm being stupid, the moment just caught up on me' He said and I couldn't help but be a bit mad.

'Remus. I'm tired. I'm tired of whatever you are hiding from me. I'm your friend, you shouldn't have any secrets from me' He looked at me, and it looked as though he was thinking it through. He probably did that for three minutes before uttering next word.

'Not here, I don't want to ruin this night for you. I tell you when we get back at Hogwarts' He said and he left walking away. I was left standing alone. I was astonished I convinced him. And then I started to think about the kiss; it was nice, and I had to admit that I wouldn't mind doing it again. But what did that mean; had I given up on Sirius? And how did I feel towards Remus? I had always considered him as a friend but friends kisses aren't supposed to be enjoyable, right?

For the past 16 years of my life I had been without any boyfriend and now every thing just fall down like rain. What was I supposed to do? And what was Remus secret? Would it change my opinion about him? I started to realise why they say love is complicated. I couldn't just push my feelings for Sirius away, but he didn't have any feelings towards me, whatsoever which made me just feel stupid that I had started to crush on him in the first way. Let's say he did feel the same thing towards me then he still be the guy who had broke almost every girl in the school heart, so why did I believe that foolishly first of all I even have a chance and secondly that I wouldn't get my heart broken.

With Remus it was different. He obviously likes me, which I had been blind to see and maybe I can convince myself that I can feel the same way for him. He's safe. He wouldn't hurt me, and I know that we did fit well together.

What have I got myself into? I pulled my self together and made the way towards the ballroom. In there people where still dancing, I looked around not sure what or who I was looking for. James and Sirius walked towards me.

'Do you know what happened to Remus? He just said goodbye and left. Did anything happen when you two where outside?' James asked worried. I looked at them both, studying them.

'Well…we kind of…kissed' I said and I could fell my cheeks going red.

'Really?' Sirius said interested, with a grin on his face.

'See I always know you two are meant for each other' He continued. Was he really that oblivious to my feelings?

'But why did he ran away? ...Not that I'm questioning your kissing method Becky' James said.

'No offence taken. Well…I think it's because he said he would tell me his secret when we got back' I said and the two boys gave out two very different reactions; Sirius looked as though he had seen Dumbledore in a dress and James gave out a small smile.

'So…he's going to tell you?' Sirius asked sounding a bit disturbed.

'Yes' I asked, a bit nervous now at this point my mum came.

'We're going now, dad just said he is going to do the balloon dance' My mum said, and she didn't need to tell me twice. I said goodbye to the boys and we hurried of to the fireplace. I felt confused, worried and everything that had happened tonight seemed surreal when left.

* * *

Oh yes. You read right. Becky and Remus kissed. ;P Remus is the cutest thing, isnt' he? :) And oh yeah. Becky's dad whole dancing thing. I'm sad to say it's based on my dad. He...unfortunely quite recently in a resturant with people, went up on the table and started to dance with one of the guys working at the resturant, I actully think he was the manager...

THANKS to everyone for the reviews. You're awsome. And everyone else readign the story and those who has favorised and alerted. =)

I've just re read Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban for like...I have no clue actually how many times I read the books. Just know it's a lot of times. Still as awsome as the first time if even more awsome.

Have a nice Easter.


	14. Secret's Out Part 1

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HARYR POTTER

* * *

The rest of the Christmas days past without any thing exciting happen, it was a relief to be standing at the 9 ¾ platform again and go on to the journey back to Hogwarts. At Hogwarts there was a sufficient number of students that hadn't come back after the break, one of them being Alex. Something that James was really happy about with him being the coach for Hufflepuffs team and all. It was Voldemort that had triggered all these emotions of insecurity on the parents. Personally I thought that if you can't be safe at Hogwarts, you can't be safe anywhere else.

It was the first day with lessons. I groaned as I was woken up my Mary getting ready for the breakfast that started in ten minutes. I decided I might as well go up. I changed into the familiar school uniform. I swear that I was the only one that actually wanted it. Everyone always complained about it but I thought it's purpose to be good – bullying was one. No one could be bullied for their clothes and there was no competition about whom had the nicest robes. I quickly brushed my hair. I stood as I thought if I was going to wake Lily, Alice and Dorcas up. I decided to let them sleep and I walked down to the Great Hall.

James, Peter, Remus and Sirius where already at the Great Hall sitting at their usual seats on the Gryffindor table. I walked towards them and sat down next to James.

'Good morning' I said as I grabbed eggs, coffee and toast.

'Morning' They all replied. I took a quick glance at Remus, he was looking depressed. Sirius seemed to have seen me to this.

'Well, James and Peter we have to go and do that…thing' He said, it wasn't rock science that this was a hoax of some kind to get me alone with Remus. After the kiss I thought that it be awkward between us…but it hadn't been, we hadn't talked about the kiss.

'Yes…the thing' said James

'What thing are you talking about?' asked Peter unsure. Sirius smacked his hand on his head.

'The THING' He said and made clear pointing at me and Remus. Peter gave an empty stare.

'You know. The thing. The thing we discussed yesterday and we needed to do today' said James. This had clearly not made any improvement at Peter. Sirius just grabbed his shirt dragged him away together with James.

'So…do you think they are trying to tell us something?' I said sarcastic. Remus gave a weak smile.

'Becky' He said and took my hands.

'Are you 100% you want to know? This is going to change what you think of me' said Remus, and his eyes where becoming watery.

'I do want to know' I said. I wasn't going to say some cliché thing like "Nothing you can say can change my thought of you" because I know that wasn't true.

'Meet me at the cross bridge, six' o'clock tonight' he said in a empty voice, I nodded as a reply and we got up as it was time for the first lesson.

My first lesson was Transfiguration; I couldn't concentrate all I thought about was Remus secret. And Sirius. The same continued the whole day through. I was panicking, scattered and also excited. I had no clue what I was getting myself into.

It was my last lessons, and also the most boring one; History of magic. Not a word went through. Then I felt something in my back that landed on the floor. It was a note. I picked it up.

_S -Remus is telling his secret tonight?_

I looked at it. It had to be Sirius mostly because no one else in the class name started with "S" and he was sitting behind me. Then I wrote a reply which I threw onto Sirius' bench. I had never write notes to anyone during class, always thought it to be considered as breaking the rules so it took me by surprise that I did.

_B – Yes. Can you give me a hint?_

The last thing I wrote as a joke, I knew Sirius would never tell. After a minute or so I felt another thing on my head. Another note.

_S – Nope. But you should probably start to get accustom to me as Padfoot. _

_B - Padfoot?_

_S- Yes. I'm Padfoot, James is Prongs, Remus is Moody and Peter's Wormtail._

_B – Why?_

_S- You find out tonight._

_B – Who knows about the secret?_

_S –All of Marauders, teachers, Dumbledore, Snape and Lily_

_B – Snape and Lily?_

_S- In short; Snape dug his big ugly nose in our business. Being friends with Lily he told her. _

"Class dismissed" Mr Binnis voice said and everyone took their stuff and ran out the classroom.

For the following hours all I did was to look at my watch. I was in the common room, surrounded by fellow Gryffindor. Lily was in the middle of helping me with my Charms homework when Dorcas came in through the portrait of the old lady. She looked to be in a rush.

'James' She said and breathed hard. James stared back at her, he was sitting behind me and Lily together with Peter and Sirius.

'Yes?' He asked

'Dumbledore wants a world with you in his office' She said and kneeled down on the floor. Lily rolled her eyes.

'What have you now done Potter?' She said in a bored voice.

'I've no clue. But honey, if I get expelled I'll forever stay in your heart' said James smirking. How can he be so relaxed about going to the headmaster's office? I'd freaked.

'Oh yes. I'll forever thing of you as the brat who ruined my school years' She said snorting and went back to helping me as James walked to Dumbledore.

It was 17:40, I didn't know if I really wanted to know anymore but somehow I found the courage. I had change into jeans and a warm sweater. I walked through the common rooms, as I walked through I could feel Sirus gazing me.

It was a cold and dark night. I walked silent to the bridge. I saw the silhouette e of Remus. He was sitting, his feet over the lake. I sat down next to him. No one said a word.

'Becky, have you noticed something about me?' He asked me.

'No?' I replied confused

'Think' He said as he looked at the sky.

'Well. Sometimes you're covered in scars and bruises' I said after thinking for a while and he nodded.

'But what does that have to do with anything?' I asked even more confused.

'It has everything to do with it Becky' said Remus. I looked at his eyes.

'I have scars and bruises once a month and I disappear every full moon' He said in a sad voice. 'I'm telling you this because I think you deserve to know.' His voice was at breaking point.

'Becky, I'm a werewolf'

* * *

I know this chapter is really short, like 1,219 words but I felt like being mean...;P

To all of my reviwers; you guys rock! Thanks everyone for taking time to read the story and those who has alerted and favourised! :)

Next Chap will be out around this Friday I'm guessing.


	15. Secret's Out Part 2

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

I let out a loud gasp. A…werewolf? Panic set in, and before I knew what I was doing I got up and ran away, leaving Remus sitting all alone. I didn't know what got into me. I walked up the stairs and through the portrait of the fat lady. As usual the common room was filled with people at this time. I rushed up the stairs, and I felt someones hand on my wrist. I first thought it was Remus, I turned around to see Sirius.

'He told you?' He asked me. I gave a nod as an answer. I was in absolute chaos at the moment.

'And…?' He asked. I hadn't even got my head together from the shock yet. Remus was a werewolf how many times I repeated it, it seemed to seem more absurb. Then suddnley a flash of emotion, I was angry. Angry at him for not telling me, angry at him for keeping this secret from me. Angry for believing I would change my opinion about him.

'And Remus is a jerk. We have been friends for I don't know how long and he has kept this huge secret from me? There's a number of times when he could have and he kept quiet. It's like … he doesn't consider me as a friend' The words kind of just came out of my mouth. Siriud looked at me.

'Becky, you can be sure that Remus thinks you as a friend. The only reason he waited was because he was afraid what you would think' He said calm.

'Well, if he knew me he would know I don't care' I said determined, Sirius was just about to say something when a voice of a girl shouted "SIRIUS". He looked at me apologetic, said sorry and walked down.

*

Following morning and I was walking down the stairs for breakfast. I walked through the common room through the portrait and down to the Great Hall. I settled down beside Lily and Alice.

'I can't wait! I've always wanted to apperate' said Alice.

'Isn't it quite…unecessairy. I mean when having floo powder and brooms why need another transportation?' Lily said

'I guess, but it's so cool to just click! And you're somewhere else. It's really hard though, my dad had to try 4 times before passing the test' said Alice.

'So are you doing the lessons Becky?' Lily asked.

'Yes, but I've a feeling I'm not going going to be one of those naturals' I said with a weakly.

'Neither do I, let's fail together' Lily said. I smiled.

'It's set' At this time Remus, Peter, Sirius and James walked into the Hall and sat down at the table. I gave Remus a quick stare and notice him also staring back at me.

It seemed like everywhere I went, there was Remus; it was impossible to get away from him.

I had just had transfiguration and that meant it was time for lunch, I was about to go to the Great Hall when Remus came behind me. His eyes looked swollen and hair messy; he looked like hell basically.

'Becky. Just promise me you won't tell' He said begging. I snorted. How dare he presume that I would do that? It was like he didn't know me. I looked back at him, gave him a harsh stare and walked to the Great Hall.

*

'Welcome class, today we're going to do some practices with our spells so join up two and two' It was Mr Clark's voice. I sighed. I hated doing group work, I always ended up awkwardly asking someone and the worst thing was when they said 'no sorry, already to many' so I sat at my desk, looking around for someone without a partner when Sirius came forward. What did he want? I thought for myself. A number of girls in the class were eyeing him.

'So, Becky – teammate?' He asked with a smile. Stunned, I nodded. If looks could kill then I would be meat for the girls that had currently been eyeing him and was now sending glares at me. It was quite humoristic that some people would be actually jealous at me. But now also panic came. What if I made a complete ass of my self? Which wouldn't be the first time.

'Everyone got a partner? Great I want you to practice making a patronus' He said and there was a loud murmur in the air.

'Yes. I said Patronus. I won't expect any of you to be able to do one today but I want you to get the feel of it. Think of a happy memory – the happiest you got and when you can say "expecto patronum"' He said. This would never, ever go well for me.

'You want to start?' Sirius asked. Truthfully I rather not start but it just felt bad replying that when people asked so I nodded.

In my head I tried to think of a happy memory, it was harder than I thought. First time inside Hogwarts? The holiday I had with my family to Hawaii? The feeling I got when got when walking into a store? The feeling I got whenever Sirius was near? Even though I just thought it I felt my cheeks go red. I decided to go for the Hogwarts thing.

I took a deep breath and concentrated drawing my wand.

'Expecto Patronum!' I said. Nothing happened. Not like I had thought it to either.

The lesson followed with me and Sirius trying to produce a patronus, but the best I could manage was some doubtable silvery sparks, Sirius managed better though he had more than just sparks but it wasn't either something that would scare away a dementor. The two people that had produced the biggest likement to a patronus were Lily and James. It wasn't a full patronus for either for them but both of them had something that actually resembled something. It was at the end of the lesson and we're both giving up. Sirius crowd of girls had been standing watching us.

'I think your fishes are getting bored now' I said whispering.

'Fishes?' Sirius asked confused. I titled my head to the girls.

'Fishes. They always move in a group' I said and he gave out a laugh.

'Guess so. And they all looked a but stuffed' He said grinning

'That's not nice' I said with a smirk

'Well they do, with their pouting mouths full of gloss' He said. 'Good there is girls like you Becks' He said. I didn't know how to react; Did he mean "girls like you" as in girls who look ugly and don't care about appearance or good as in being different in a positive way? I probably would never figure him out.

'You know…Remus' is…quite down' He said. I couldn't help but think if this was the only reason he sat down to me in the first place? Was I just…his idea of entertaiment?

'Becky, you can't be mad at him forever' He said in a soft voice.

'Class dismissed, great work everyone' Mr Clark said interrupting what I was about to say, and I grabbed my bag and followed the others out.

*

It was the first lesson of apparating. The tables in the Great Hall had been moved so that there would be room for each person. Everyone in the grade had come, not a bit suprisingly and also some 7th years that had failed…a number of times. Our instructor was a round faced woman with blonde hair. She looked like she swallowed a lemon.

'All right. Order, order!' She shouted across the room.

'Apparating is a very difficult thing, which some wizards and witches can't bemaster' She said as she gave a stare to the 7th years.

'The key to apparating is the D's; Destination, determination and deliberation. If you have all that in mind you can't go wrong. As you all know, you can't apparate inside outside the castle but Dumbledore has made it possible for you to apparate around this classroom.

I closed my eyes and concentrated thinking about the corner to the right and was determined to reach the desination.

3 minutes. Nothing happened.

10 minutes. Nothing happened.

18 minutes. Nohing happened

25 minutes. I thought one of my hair straw to have been moving to the corner.

30 minutes. Nothing happened.

40 minutes. I gave up.

None succeded in apparating, however A Slytherin had apparated his head but not his body, Two rawenclaws, one of which had apparated a finger and the other a leg and a Alice had apprated her legs but not the rest of the body. So in conclusion, the lesson had gone horrible wrong.

*

For once, the common room was empty, probably because it was late and I sat down to read Hamlet, hadn't read Shakespeare in a while and felt for it.

I was in the middle of reading when someone walked down the staircase and she turned her head, it was James.

'Hello Becky' He said

'Hi James'

He sat down on a seat near as I closed the book.

'There is one thing I don't get' I said

'And what's that?' He asked

'Sirius said that when I found out about Remus being…you – know would get to know you as Prongs, Padfoot, Moody and Wormtail' Said Becky, She had said 'you – know in case there would be any night people around and didn't want it to came out. James gave a short laugh.

'Seeing as you and Remus aren't on speaking terms I guess I can explain' He said.

'You see, Remus did tried to hide it from us in his first years but during out third year we realised it. And we wanted to help him' He started in a low voice.

'So, we spent ages reading up on it and trying. Finally we managed it' James was now whispering.

'Managed what?' I asked, completely compelled and enchanted.

'To become Animagus' He said soft. My jaw dropped. I hadn't expected something like that. First of all, that they where breaking the law and would without a doubt be expelled and maybe thrown into Azkaban because I understood they weren't Animagus legally, they were far too young. I knew that James and Sirius was smart, even though they spent to much time pranking to become 'O' students but this was just astonishing.

'Wow…just wow…' I said in daze.

'So now with each transformation we can be company with Remus. You- know only attacks people, not animals' James said and I could feel my eyes go wet. James gave out a grin.

'Are you crying?'  
'Well, it's just amazing how close you guys are and what you are doing for Remus' I said and sniffed.

'You're such a girl' He said jokingly

'Yeah, wonder why' I said smiling. 'So what's up with the names?' I asked

'Glad you asked. My animagus is a stag, hence Prongs. Peter is a rat so Wormtail'

'Hang on, you get to be a stag and he's a rat?' I asked

'Rotten luck for him, but someone had to. Remus is you-know so he's Moody and Sirius is a dog so therefor Padfoot!' James said.

'All of your animagus fit your personalities' I said after thinking.

'They do, don't they? Well, I don't know about you but I'm getting tired. Good night' James said and I decided to call it a night to.

*

The stars lit up the ceiling in the Great Hall. I was sitting eating my dinner, steak and potatoes. It felt dark. Everything felt as though it had some hidden meaning to it. It was just one of those nights you know you be paranoid because outside it's as black as James's hair and it carries on with a feeling something will happen. But of course, nothing ever happens. It's just plain paranoia.

Everyone else seemed to be in a cherry mood though, apart from Remus and me. The teachers had taken a few too many butterbeer's because most of them was giggling.

The wind was chilling and I froze. It was then when a parchment landed on my plate. I looked around, but no one seemed to be missing it or sending it for that part. I took the parchment and turned the side. And there it was a text on I read it.

_Becky Thompson_

_Meet me at 21:00 tonight in the dungeons_

Who could possibly this be from? And dared I to go, but to be honest what was the worst that could happen? 21:00 wasn't pass curfew and I doubt any student would write Thompson.

The dinner continued and I started to get worked up. Maybe this wasn't a good idea?

Time passed a lot quicker than I thought it would. Soon I only had fifteen minutes to decide. Maybe it was something important.

With what felt like a lump in my throat I walked to the Dungeons. I've never liked the dungeons, it gave me the creeps it felt gothic and just…wrong. Only times I were here was when I had Potions. I looked at my watch it was past nine. Then I heard steps coming in front of me.

'Well hello Becky. Let me introduce myself, I'm Regulus Black' A voice said and he crept out from the shadows. My hair arose. He did look like Sirius, tall, dark hair but the eyes were different, Regulus had green eyes and the whole aura about him was different; he had more of that snobby and superior. Sirius was much more a rugged handsomeness. Then three other guys came out behind him I reconigsed them as Mulciber and Avery. Those two made me scared just looking at them.

What do they want? I couldn't help but thinking, but I was too scared to even utter a word.

'And here are Mulciber and Avery'

I wanted to run. As soon as I was planned that Regulus cast a binding charm on me so I couldn't move. Cricket, this couldn't be good.

'What's the hurry? Got loads of time' Black said. That wasn't 100% true since we actually had a curfew but I wasn't going to say that to them.

'Perhaps you're wondering why I asked you to come here?' He asked. I didn't reply but I sure as hell would like to know.

'I believe in keeping the pureblood line…pure' He said but something in the way he said it I thought it to sound…unconvincing as if he didn't believe it whole hearty.

'And I know your sister has been sneaking out seeing a muggle' Was this true? I didn't care she was dating a muggle, but why didn't Alva tell me? Because it couldn't be Anna, that was what I knew. And considering the fact I only have to sisters that left me with Alva. I knew that she had being seeing someone during Christmas. It's got to be him that was the muggle, right?

But what had any of this to do with me?

'So. Tell your sister to stop acting like a whore'

'My sister is NOT A WHORE' I had no clue what went into to me and I couldn't help to think how stupid this was. This is not the time to start being loud.

'Let's see her about that. Send her our message.' He said and took off the binding spell. I actually thought they were finished and I was in a hurry to leave when they all grabbed me.

'Please' I uttered but they didn't listen. Instead they started to hit me painfully in the stomach, it wasn't long until I was on the floor in pain and they continued to hit me. Tears flooded down my chin. It felt like a eternity before they stopped and Regulus uttered the words 'STUPEFY' with his wand and it all went black.

* * *

*dum dum dum dum*

Thanks you'all lovely person for taking to read,review, alert and favorise ;)

And in difference to all my other author notes I'm going to leave it short and note write like 10 paragraphs. xD It's going to talk a while before next update I'm sorry to say. GOing back to school next week and we have this huge personal project due then. And in the weekend I'm off to my friend's lakehouse. And the weekend after that my parents wants to travel somehere because it's bank monday. So bare with me, all right?;p


	16. Closer to You

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

*

My eyes flew open. At first I didn't recognise the sterile smell or the white beds but then I realised I was at the Hospital wing. When I tried to think of what had happened and how long I've been here it went blank, then as I looked around to grab a glass of gillywater to collect myself I saw Remus sitting besides me. When he saw me looking at him he gave a facial expression of shock looking pale.

'I can go if you want' He said in a low voice. I eyed him sitting on the chair. I didn't want him to leave. I didn't like hospitals, or well no one liked hospitals.

It always gave a feeling of solitude, pain and death and I needed company, and sooner or later this ridiculous I'm-not speaking-to-you act I had been doing had to stop. It was safe to say I had made my point, now I just wanted to move on.

'No stay, please' I said and there seemed to be some colour coming back on his face.

'Are you still mad at me?' He asked after a while.

'A bit, but not much' I said honestly and gave a weak smile. The sunlight came through the windows, so it had to be morning I figured.

"Why? I'm a monster. I could hurt you, I could kill you. It's better of with not being your friend' He said. Why was he saying that? How could he possible think he is a monster? A monster choices it's path. He didn't choose to be a werewolf and I know Remus, he wouldn't hurt a fly.

'You're not a monster' I said and he snorted.

'Being a werewolf is a part of me. It's a part of me that I can't control, that I can't take away and I have in terms accepted that. But that won't help when I'm searching for a job and people look at me as I'm a murderer and don't deserve to live and I understand tham' He said and I looked him in the eyes.

'Remus, you know I'm not like that. You know that I wouldn't do that to you. You're my friend ' I said

I realised I didn't now how long I've been staying here or what they it is. The door to the wing opened, it was Madam Pomfrey in her usual white robes caring a tray. She gave a big sigh.

'OUT Mr Lupin, Now! You have lessons to go to and you need to get some breakfast' She said in harsh voice. Remus gave an excusing look and walked away. Madam Pomfrey then walked to me with a tray filled with porridge, juice and what looked to be a pill. Just looking at the food made me realise how hungry I am.

I noticed the card lying on the table besides me. It said 'Get Well' on the front, because it was opened I could make out the people who had signed; Alice, Lily, Dorcas and Mary, it was also another one, this signed by the Marauders with their other names Padfoot, Prongs, Moody and Wormtail. It gave me a smile on my face – I knew their secrets. They trusted me, not many others did know about it and even though the matter was deeply serious it made me feel special that they felt they could trust me.

'You know, that boy of yours, driving me mad' She said and I was interrupted from my thoughts. I looked puzzled at her.

'Remus isn't my boyfriend' I answered in a repeated voice – how many times had my parents not asked me "how is your boyfriend Remus doing?" and they still haven't got that we weren't a couple. Although the kiss…I realised I really needed to sort that out. It was just weird in a way, not talking about it. Or well practical I hadn't been speaking to Remus until now so that gave a good excuse.

'No, Mr Sirius Black' She said as she gave me the tray. I started to cough.

'Sirius?' I said in shock. Really? I mean…really? This must be a mix up or something like that.

'Yes, been here two days since you arrived. Determined fellow. Didn't leave that seat until he needed to. Sat on that chair day and night, I was surprised to see Mr Lupin now' She said. I couldn't quite believe it, he had actually sat her with me even though I was unconscious. It seemed too bizarre, too surreal and something that I just dream.

I wondered if he would to do that any of the other girls he had, or perhaps he just did it because it was after all his brother that had done it? Suddenly I felt tired and dizzy again, Madam Pomfrey seemed to have seen that because she rushed me to eat the food and take the pill. I closed my eyes and let myself into dream again.

*

I felt something on one of my hands; I opened my eyes to see Sirius sitting on the chair holding the hand. It was warm and stead grip. He was covered in bruises, scars and had a black eye; he still somehow unsurprisingly managed to come out as handsome as ever. It should be illegal to be that handsome, he could stop traffic.

'You look like a mess' I said weakly. He looked up at me and gave a smile, flashing a swollen lip.

'You don't look to good yourself' He said and we laughed knowing both that we didn't exactly look our best, or rather that was me who didn't look at my best. There was a silence.

'Thank you Sirius…thank you for staying here, Madam Pomfrey told me you've been sitting here ever since I came' I said in a low voice, it was something embarrassing about saying, I expected him to say that he hadn't done that and it was someone else that had.

'It was the least I can do. It wasn't hard to find out it was Regulus who did it' He said and I suddenly realised why Sirius had so many bruises.

'You fought him?' I asked but I knew the answer.

'Should teach him to go on some in his own size. Three guys against one girl, that's just…disgusting' He said he said in a revolted tone. All the tears I pushed aside were now running down my cheek as I recalled everything Regulus and his friends had done. Sirius sat up on the bed and held me tight in his arms. His embrace was warm and comforting. I expected him to let go but this time he didn't.

'It's over. It's over' He said in a hushed voice. Madame Promfrey walked past; looking as though she had something to say but she kept shut and just gave both Sirius and me hard stares. I had stopped crying. I was so close to him that his brown hair touched my face. If only he knew how I felt about him. But right now I didn't care too much about what he felt about me but that he was here, with my face buried into his uniform that was getting more wet by the second because of my tears meant more than anything.

I might never have him, he was never going to have these feelings but that didn't mean I was, at least now feel like the world spun around when he smiled at me or in moments like this – make me feel as so special and it got easier to breath as ridiculous and sappy as that sounded.

We stayed in the same position – Sirius holding me as he was sitting on the bed for a long time, quiet when Madame Pomfrey came back again.

'Mr Black, your lesson start in five minutes. You need to go, and Becky needs her lunch' She said in an annoyed voice. When Sirius released his grip on me, everything felt much colder and scarier.

'Ple-' He started but she shook her head.

'I'll be fine' I said, squeezing out a smile. He looked at me as if he didn't believe what I was saying but he left in a hurry to next class.

It was two in the afternoon the same day, I was getting bored at just staying in the bed. I looked up at the ceiling, discovering that someone had somehow managed to put a chewing gum there. I thought about which subject I would be having now, it was Thursday so then I be having Herbology. I actually enjoyed Herbology, it wasn't my strongest subject but I still managed to get good grades and it was fairly easy stuff we did.

And there with the cards I noticed something, it was a parchment; thinking about what had happened from the last parchment I hesitantly took it from it's place on the night stand and read it. I soon recognised my mum's neat handwriting.

_Becky, _

_We just got owl from your head of houses saying that you're currently in the Hospital Wing. If you do not reply in the nearest 24 hours you father and I'll come down the school. _

_Mum and Dad_

I bit my lip. This wasn't good. What was I supposed to tell my parents? That I had been violated in the school? They would with no doubt probably make me leave Hogwarts. I couldn't just say that it was because three guys thought Alva was a slut. No, this was going to be a tricky letter to write.

There was a noise coming from the entrance. I assumed it was Madam Pomfrey but I was surprised as I turned my head to see Dumbledore walking in. Dumbledore always gave the impression of greatness wherever he walked, he was just one of those persons that it was completely impossible to not notice. His long silvery hair swooned and his half moon spectacles leaned on his nose, he always carried the atmosphere of cheerfulness.

'Becky, you are feeling better I hope?' He asked me, and I in a bit of shock that he seemed to have come to the hospital wing nodded my head unsure. There wasn't any one else here, all of the other bed's were empty.

'There is something I need to ask you' He said as he sat down on the chair. I raised an eyebrow.

'And what would that be?" I asked him

'Did Avery or Mulciber do anything…or did they just stand there?' He asked me. I was surprised to know that Dumbledore knew so much, but then Dumbledore was the smartest man I've ever met so there is no doubt there are a couple of ways he could have found out.

'They stood there…Regulus was the one talking. Then when they released me from the body binding charm they all three grabbed me and kicked me. But it was Regulus who cursed' I said recalling what happened in shaky and thick voice. It was difficult going through it once more. Dumbledore seem notice this and quickly started talking.

'Interesting' He said. Interesting? Humiliating, wrong and despicable is more like it.

'Because, that means it was some sort of test to see Mr Blacks loyalties' He said quickly when he saw my face.

'Loyalties to whom?' I asked curious.

'Lord Voldemort' Dumbledore said in a calm voice. How anyone could do that in I calm voice I'll never understand.

'You mean he's requiting kids in the school?' I asked stunned. Sure, there had always been some theories and rumours about most kids in Slytherin but I had only thought it was like one or two kids. But from what I had gotten what Dumbledore was saying it was more than one or two. Much more.

It was frightening knowing that Voldemort had such a power. It wasn't a 'he could use the supporters at school', he just had proven that know with Regulus and the others.

'Oh yes. For quite a while also I suppose also' He said

'There's one thing I've wondered – where and who found me?' I asked and therefore ending the conversation about Lord Voldemort.

'I believe it was Freida Simpson and John Robertsson; both from Hufflepuff and they found you as they while walking to the Astronomy tower' Dumbledore said with a bit of twinkle in the eye. It wasn't a secret why people walked to the Astronomy Tower during night, and I got a bit embarrassed by this.

'But why go to all that trouble?' I asked. The Dungeons and Astronomy tower was far away from each other.

'They wanted someone to find you so that they could prove for the other Slytherins'

Dumbledore saw the parchment from my parents that was now resting on my knees.

'I would advice you to send an owl to your parents when Madam Pomfrey thinks you're good enough to leave which I suspect isn't so far away' he said with a smile

'But…what should I write professor? I can't just go on saying that Voldemort had gotten followers at school that violated me just because my sister is dating a muggle. They go mad' I said looking at him. His piercing blue eyes looked at me.

'Never assume you know how someone will react' He said calmly 'And Becky, I'm sorry but I'm afraid I can't expell them for doing this, they have gotten detention for the rest of their school years and I believe Sirius also helped punish Regulus'

'Filch has been asking me to help with some "emergency" all day now, something about some confiscation of some kind. Take care now' Dumbledore said as he stared to walk but then stopped on the way.

'And oh, I'm glad that you have come to terms with Remus…problem' He said with a smile as he walked out.

That man would never cease to amaze me.

*

It was the next morning when I was released from the Hospital. I walked down the Great Hall. I took an deep breath, I was going to see Regulus again with his friends and that scared me, it wasn't that I thought they do something again, especially not in the Great Hall but the fact that I would be facing them again and facing what happened. I opened the doors and as I did, people didn't turn to look at me which it felt that they would; they just carried on eating. The worst part was walking past the Slytherins' table, I almost ran past it and didn't stop until I was comfortable sitting with the Gryffindor's.

I sat down to Sirius, as it turned out it was the only seat left…not that I had anything against sitting next to Sirius apart from the fact that when I did I was careful about everything I did, careful not to get a moustache while drinking milk or not spilling the food onto my robes. Something I did all to often.

'Are you going to be okay…with Regulus here and all?' Sirius asked. Surprised I nodded,

'I won't let him ever touch you again' He said, and he said it so reassuring, so confidently and so honest that I continued eating the rest of my breakfast without thinking of Regulus.

* * *

Some Sirius/Becky action ;)

Next Chapter will take some time. Won't be able to update until next next weekend.

Thanks for reviewing, alerting, favouriting and reading the story, it means a lot!; )

Fircat8: I've been wondering what you been up to : ) Thxs for reviewing : D


	17. Imagining Me With You

I do not own Harry Potter and I haven't written the poem ' Shall I compare a Midsumer's day'

* * *

Dumbledore had been right; the reply I got from my parents was nothing like I expected it to be. They sounded upset and angry, especially that I didn't tell him who had done it but I explained the purpose about Voldemort and sure, they were freaked out but they wanted me to stay at Hogwarts because they knew that I wouldn't be happy with being taken off but they also said that if something other like this happens to me they will immediately take me home.

*

It was about eleven o'clock at night but even so only me and Lily was in the dormitory. Outside the sound of the wind was blowing hard against the windows. I was looking through my Potions homework sitting on my bed when Lily sat down at the end of it. It took me by surprise; I looked up from my book.

'You have sisters, right?' she asked and I nodded wondering what she was going with this.

'What do you do when your sister is dating a guy that is just awful?' she said and I looked at her. She was wearing a night gown and her dark red hair was in a pony tail. This must be about her sister Petunia. From what I heard she was mean and also really jealous at Lily. But then, who wasn't jealous at Lily? She had guys going after her, good grades and was one of the nicest people I met. It's got to be hard being her sister, especially when she is a witch.

'And are you sure this guy is really awful?' I asked.

'Completely, his name is Vernon and he looks like a pig, a really large pig I mean he's twice his height as wide. Anyway, I met him during Christmas and he kept giving this mean comments and snide looks. I just know that he will be determined to make my sister hate me and more than she does know' she said. I thought about it; what would I do if one of my sisters dated someone that was like that? I would say that do them. But I knew that Lily's and Petunia's relationship was different than me and my sisters.

'She probably would be more determined to be with him if you did say what you thought about it, right? She wouldn't believe you. But you do need to. So if you to say it to her then she probably won't listen but if you don't you feel bad about not telling' I said after thinking. I had no clue if this was actually advice or not, or if I actually should meddle with people's life and giving them advices.

'Sorry, I know this isn't helping very much' I said and Lily gave me a smile.

'No, actually it was very helpful. Thank you Becks' It helped? Wow, soon I could start my own chat show 'Becky Thompson will solve your problem''…or maybe not.

'So, is there some guy you like in the school?' Lily asked with a small smile.

'Uhm' I could feel my cheeks go red I wanted to curse myself for always blushing so easy, it was so annoying. She smiled even more when she saw it.

'So there's a guy, anymore detail you willing to give?' She asked friendly. Yes. Just Sirius Black, sigh. I should perhaps just get over myself.

'It's nothing really' I said. Lily went up from the bed.

'You never know' She said

'Hm' I mumbled in answer.

'You're a good friend Becky' She said as she went to her bed. I'm a good friend? None had ever said that to me before. I had never thought I was and she didn't know how much it meant that she actually considered me a friend. Why had I been cutting myself away from these people for so many years? I had been miserable being friends with Erin.

*

It was obvious by how most of the girls at the castle acted (flashing their lashes, pouting their lips, giggling and laughing loudly at the guys bad jokes) that Valentine's was here. To be honest, it had never bothered me too much so I stopped caring. I've never gotten an Valentine's gift from an boy so I was certainly not getting one this year.

I sighed as I saw another girl in the hallway practically throw herself at Sirius. DIdn't they have any respect?

Sirius smiled and nodded of what the girl was saying.

'Euhm, Sirius I think I just go to Herbology myself' I said. We had gotten close. ( I was close with Sirius, I couldn't actually believe it ) after what his brother did to me and he had kind of take the role of a protector. Not that I'm complaining. He gave me a quick look.

'No, wait. Uhm, Sarah I need to go. It was a pleasure talking to you' He said to the girl. She gave me an dirty look and left.

'You didn't need to do that' I said, feeling a bit more confident that he had just dumped a girl to go to class with me.

'Yes I did' He said and gave a smile.

'Thank you' I said simply as an answer. I couldn't come up with anything else to say. We didn't say much during the trip.

We. We – me and Sirius was actually a "we", how surreal that sounded walked into the classroom.

*

_I was sitting at the Gryffindor's table eating breakfast. It was Valentine's and probably, professor Flitwick had made some decorations for the occasion with hearts balloons in the air and a rosy scent. Then suddenly the Owl's started to fly in, caring love notes and chocolate boxes. I longing looked up at the ceiling. Maybe this year someone would send me something? _

_But the Owl's disappeared after giving the mail and I hadn't gotten anything. Why had I even assumed, or even hoped that this year would be different? _

_It was too much, with all the girls bragging happily over the gift or notes they had gotten and I needed to get away from it. I walked out from the Great Hall, out the entrance door and I walked through the grounds to the Black Lake and I sat down. Gazing at my reflection of brown long hair and the hazel eyes – how could I think anyone would want me? _

_Then from the back I could hear someone closing in. I just wanted to be alone so I turned around to get up. My eyes met Sirius'. He was looking more handsome than ever and had big bouquet of roses. I wondered how the lucky girl was._

'_Beck' He said slowly. I didn't reply, there was something about the way he said it that told me to be quiet so we stood there for a while, standing looking from each other. Then he did something that took me by surprise. The roses he had in his hands he held them out for me. Could it be that the roses was to me? But it seemed surreal. _

'_They're for you' He said, reading my thoughts. Shocked I took them. They looked even more beautiful now._

'_T-Thank you. They're beautiful' I said stunned. I hadn't expected any of this not at all I hadn't expected to get anything especially not from Sirius. _

'_Just like you' He said and by that time my cheeks were burning like some hot fire was inside them._

_Was he really saying that or was it my mind? _

'_There is something I need to say to you. Actually I have wanted to say it for quite a while' said Sirius and my body was as if body binned charmed to the ground. _

'_I can't stop thinking about you and, you're more important to me anything I can think of' _

_That just there made my heart stop, was Sirius Black really saying these words to me? My whole body was shaking as he was now standing so close that I be able to smell his breath._

'_So?' He asked after a while. I looked up at him, and oh merlin how could I ever explain what I felt?_

'_Sirius, I love you to' It came right to the point. He smiled as he took one of his hand and took it through my hair as he leaned closer. _

_This was it. This was the magic moment._

My eyes flew open by Remus's elbow that was going into my ribs.

'Wha-' I started and then I saw the angry eyes of McGongall with her tight bun staring at me. Yikes, this was not good. Nervously I had started to bite my nails, a disgusting habit which I have in edgy moments.

'So Ms Thompson I expect you to know the effects of the Vanishing spells?' She asked briskly.

'Uhm'

'Didn't think so. Next time – try not to fall asleep' She said strict and looked at me I nodded.

*

February the 14th , just a normal day, a normal day. And no matter what the decorations of the Great Hall, or all the girls getting presents it wasn't anything special at all. At least that was my theory when I was getting dressed for the day. It's just a silly day, why do I even care? In my anger I almost choked myself as I tied my tie.

The other girls had already left to eat. Probably just excited. But then, they would get present, I wouldn't.

It was with big sulky steps as I carried myself down the stairs. Could I just pretend I was sick? But even I know I couldn't ignore the day. I stepped out of the portrait of the fat lady and went down the to ground floor as I was getting more worried. Then, Pevees. Of course. Making it all better. He looked at me with a big grin.

'Isn't Becky Bookworm getting a Valentine? To bad. Maybe Loony Lupin will be there for you?' I was getting really angry now.

'Shut up' I said in a low voice.

'What was that?' He said childish.

'Whatever' I mumbled and continued with an even worse mood. He hadn't exactly made a good start to the morning.

As I stepped in to the Great Hall I noticed in horror that for the occasion it was red hearts flowing in the ceiling, and I could see people everywhere getting their presents, or people taking their bravery and giving. It was like love was throwing up in this room.

I will not 'Avada Kedavra' anyone who got a Valentine. I will not 'Avada Kedavra' anyone who has been given a Valentine I told myself as I sat down at the Gryffindor table. Alice was sitting in Frank's lap with a new heart necklace. Dorcas had an chocolate box in front of her, from what I could read Peter. Mary was smiling as she was looking over at the Rawenclaw table where Stanley Casa was sending her a love note. To my surprise Remus had a bit under a dozen cards but that was nothing to Sirius, whom unmistakable had the largest one in the whole Hall. James was smiling happy.

'Good morning' James said.

'Good morning' I said in a sarcastic tone which none of the others picked up on. I started to pour porridge into my bowl, it was the only thing that wasn't heart shaped or red. At the Teacher's table in front overlooking us student they all also looked in the spirit of the day. What was it with people and this freaking day?

That was when a big white owl appeard from the windows and flew in with a big bouquet of…white lillies. Wasn't difficult guessing who that was to. And as the owl flew in and dropped the flowers on the Gryffindor table I knew I was right, it was for Lily. She gave a quick glance at James.

'Lillies? How very original off you' She sad in a sarcastic voice. James smiled at her.

'You'll see. You'll see' Was all he said with a grin and she looked generally curious but her hate for James took over and continued talking to Dorcas.

It was the second lesson today – Potion. Lily and me were trying to make the Ageing Potion. At the moment it was in wonderful blue turquoise colour. Mr Slughorn was sitting at the desk watching everyone's moves.

'So if you cut the roots I'll stir' She said, I nodded and started to cut in small cubicles. This was when the door opened a small boy, probably second year looked terrified and was carrying blue daisy's.

'Yes?' Mr Slughorn asked

'U..hm..Lily Evans?' He asked quietly.

'Yes?' Lily said as she was stirring. He went towards her and gave her the flowers.

'Let's get on with it, shall we?' Said Mr Slughorn in a slightly amused voice.

'So who is it from?' I asked already knowing the answer. Lily rolled her eyes.

'James sodding Potter. Does he ever give up?'

'Obviously not' I said with a smile.

Potter had continued giving Lily gift exactly every hour. After the daisy's, it was Defence Against Dark Arts and James had conjured a year's suppliment of Witch's Weekly to her. At lunch an necklace appeared in her food. Later in her History of Magic class, James had with using 'accio' written "Lily Evans. Priceless'. Then she had also found a quill in her book.

It felt like an eternity before it was finally dinner. The decorations was still there, and people were still happy and flashing everything they got but at least now the day was soon over. My steak didn't taste like anything and the ice cream was too icy and I was just about to leave. Then suddenly a bouquet of redtulips appeared in front of my face. Something must be wrong? I looked back. It was Remus standing with the tulips. Oh, sweet Remus. He looked a bit scared.

'I just…thought I give you these' he said as he strecthed them out for me, I took them in my hand and I hugged him.

'Thank you' I said. He looked a bit taken back.

'You're welcome' He said softly.

Maybe Valentine's wasn't that bad.

It was nine'o'clock and everyone was waiting for James next thing to Lily, Lily nontheless had not been . Lily was sitting at the couch in front of the fire place. James took big steps and stood in front of her. She raised an eyebrow.

'No gift?' She asked. James looked at her and harkled as he started.

"_Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?  
Thou art more lovely and temperate._

_Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,_

_And summer's leash hath all too short a date._

_Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,_

_And often his golden complexion dimm'd;_

_And every fair from fair sometime declines,_

_By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;_

_But thy eternal summer shall not fade_

_Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st:_

_Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,_

_When eternal lines to time thou grow'st:_

_So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,_

_So long lives this, and this gives life to thee._ "

Shakespeare. Not the most original poem but it was beautiful and I was impressed that James had learned it by heart.

It went quiet. Everyone waited for Lily's reply. She looked at him.

'I liked this gift best' She said shortly.

* * *

OMG, I just need to say this. I'm still mega excited. I have been to the place which is the INSPIRATION for the Great Hall. AND, I was in the village where JK Rowling lives. I can't believe it. The Great Hall. Was a-m-a-z-i-n -g. I can't explain it but it was...surreal. I probably took 60 photos. Exactly like I imagined it. Gosh. I want to go back. AND the steps to the Hall is where they filmed in the first book when they're waiting to get in to the Hall. The hall is not howeer the filming place, I personally think this is cooler. AND oh, I was outside the building where they film the hospital wing. I was with a tour with my friend yesterday ( we lowered the middle age at the bus to 40 ). We went to three places in England. 10 hours. So cool. Great Hall was unsmistable the high point. It's in Oxford. I'm sooo going try to get in the Uni where they have the Great Hall in ( mhm, it's university/church ) - imagine eating breakfast in the Great Hall everyday.

I know I haven't updated, been so busy and it doesn't look better. Soon I have my exams *Sigh*.

Not one of my favorite chapters to be honest, but promise that the next one will be more eventful.

THANK YOU my reviwers, you guys are AWSOME. I'm so glad you all liked the Sirius/Becky action in the last chapter. I really enjoyed writing it. And thanks to everyone who has alerted, favourised and read. =)


	18. A michievous Remus

I'm not JK Rowling. Sorry.

* * *

It was lunch break, and also the first sun of the year so everyone had gone out to enjoy the warm climate. I was sitting with the Remus at the Black Lake under the tree and studying for the Ancient Runes test we had the next period while James, Sirius and Peter was playing around with a boll which reminded me of the Muggles where I lived I had seen do.

Even for me, who had no clue what this game was about could see that Peter wasn't that good. Maybe it was because Sirius and James where running around hysterically after this boll and was very coordinated.

'And he SCORES' James said as he had kicked the boll into between two books that was there as a goal.

It was so much more fun watching them than studying so I got caught up in it, and before I knew it I was cheering every time one of them scored ( although I did perhaps cheer a bit louder when Sirius did ).

'Do you think we need to learn this?' Remus asked pointing at a certain chapter in the book. I took a glance.

'Mm' I answered as I had started to watch the guys play again. Remus laughed, he had a very sweet laugh I noticed.

'You're totally carried away by the game aren't you?'

'Yes' I said smiling.

'All right, I'm bored now' Sirius said as James had made his second goal in a row.

'Sure loser' James said jokingly as Sirius gave him a hit on the arm and smiled.

'Okay, next beak ­­– if you dare to be even more beaten' James said fixing his messy jet black hair the way he always did to make the most of the girls swoon.

'Oh. IT'S on!' Sirius said laughing as they settled down on the grass where I and Remus sat.

'Do you two ever get your noses outside a book?' James asked and Remus gave me a look with an expression that I had never seen on him before – mischievousness. He stood up and walked towards Sirius that was sitting on the outskirt of the ground with the lake behind him.

Sirius was fully busy looking at some 7th years girls that were giggling annoyingly hysterically while looking at him so that he didn't notice Remus coming up and pushing him into the lake.

Everyone, including Sirius that had landed in the lake and was drenched started to laugh. Remus then looked at James.

'You're next' He said

'Not on my watch!' James said and they started to wrestle. Peter was sitting next and was almost rolling around the ground of laughter. Remus was starting to loose balance and quickly grabbed James' arm that was realising what happened as he also started to loose balance and he then took Peter with him and they all landed in the cold lake where Sirius already was. I couldn't stop laughing, it was just too hilarious. Remus then looked at James.

'Apparently I do other stuff. Who would have gussed?' He said.

Sirius started to swim closer to the ground.

'Hey, Becky would you mind giving me a hand to help me get up?' He asked.

'Sure' I answered, and I took out my hand for him over the gap between the lake and the solid ground where I was standing.

His wet hand that felt like bolts of electricity grabbed mine and he pushed me towards him, before I knew it I flung over and a sudden feeling of ice and then the instant feel of wet. It took a while before it started to get warmer and I was no longer shivering

'Now…that was mean!' I said in a fake angry voice, adding on to it a small smile.

'No. That wasn't mean. This is' He said as a splash of the cold water hit my face.

'OH, I will get you for that one' I said as he started to escape but it was too late- I splashed on him to and we started a big water fight where everyone was splashing water at each other. It didn't really matter that the water felt like needles on the skin, or that my lips had starting to get purple.

'I'm going up' Remus said as he started to swim towards land.

'Spoiler' Peter said and we all sent a big storm of water towards Remus who just shook his hand.

'Actually is starting to get a bit cold' James noted and and it felt even worse when we got up because then it really hit how cold the water had been and I was shaking hysterically as we went to the tree and lay in the sun.

'I want to do something, I want it to be full moon soon' Sirius said in his thoughts. Remus gave a 'hymp' sound.

'You're not the one being a monster' Remus said in a miserable voice.

'According to my parents, that's not true' Sirius said

'So, how do you do guys do it?' I asked, I realised I never found out exactly what they did every half moon, just that Remus turned into a monster and the guys turned into animagus to make the transformation more gentle.

'You guys can tell' Said Remus in a low voice.

'Well, we go out to the grounds and then we go to the Whomping Willows' James started.

'Hang on, we're not allowed to be out that time. Don't the teachers notice you?' I asked. It was a known fact that the teachers were hard with studetns being outside the dorm after the curfew. James smiled.

'No, or maybe Dumbledore has some suspicions but I happen to have a invisibility cloak that we are under'

'Wow' I had heard about invisibility cloaks, and it seemed really, both creepy and interesting to be able to go anywhere without noticing. An invisibility cloak was practically only made for doing mischievous things so I had never really craved one but it seemed so exciting suddenly.

'So, we go to the Whomping Willows where we transform. Me, that's a stag, Peter is a rat and Sirius a dog and with the help of Peter we go into the tree and that leads to the Shrieking Shack' James said.

'Wait…the Shrieking Shack is supposed to be haunted' I said, the rumour had started in my second year because people could here screams coming from the building.

'That's me' Remus said. I felt bad for him, I can't start to imagine what he went through. It's got to take a strong person to do that. Then suddenly I thought of the guys' animgaus and an idea struck me.

'Sirius, your animagus is a dog?' I asked, but it wasn't a question because I knew he was. He nodded in answer.

'What does your dog look like?' I asked and his eyes lit up, he was realising what I was thinking off.

'Big, black and apparently by the name Tinkerbell' He said and we both started to laugh hysterically. The others looked as us confused as my stomach started to hurt.

'Care to let us know?' Peter asked.

'Well, it was a night a couple months ago and I was here in the grounds. Then a dog appears, big and black and I let you know that this is the most undoggy dog I've ever seen. I decide I want to name it, and the name I choose; Tinkerbell' I said from the laughter, and now the guys also roared with laughter.

'AWE. Little Tinkerbell. Aren't you sweet?' James said while laughing.

'Still trailing off with Peter Pan?' Remus asked

'I had no clue we had such a nice company every half moon. This changes everything, ladies first' Peter said.

15 minutes later and 100 jokes about me naming Sirius Tinkerbell, Sirius looked a lot more and more distraught.

'You guys do realise this went boring fourteen minutes ago' Sirius said.

'Wait! I got one more.' James started but wrinkled his nose.

'Actually I don't.'

'Thank lord' Sirius said relieved

'Becky I'm going to forever love you for this' James said friendly and I laughed but it felt really good to have someone say they love me and all though James meant he loved me for naming Sirius Tinkerbell, it felt good.

Then the whole atmosphere changed when the Marauders got their eyes on Snape at walking around the castle together with Lily. Snape gave a quick glance his eyes following our wet robes.

'Are you every going to grow up?' He said in a superior voice that chilled me, I had always felt bad for Snape but now I was starting to really dislike him, he was deliberaly egging the Marauders on.

'You know, I think you should try too and maybe you could use something called s-c-h-a-m-p-o-o if you ever heard of it?' Sirius said, I bit my lip. I didn't want to be sent to Dumbledore's office again.

'Black, you really think that with being with these people will fool anyone? Everyone knows you are supposed to be in Slytherin' Snape said and Sirius literally looked as do he was boiling with anger.

'Just STOP IT' Lily said fiery as she stomped her feet on the ground and walked away with James running after shouting 'Lily!' and Snape sprinting after her too.

I took a glance at Sirius still standing on the spot, he looked mad.

'I should have hit him' He said meaning Snape.

'No, that wouldn't prove anything. No one believes you're a Slytherin. It's easy to see you're a Gryffindor, you're standing up against your own family takes a lot of courage' I said, I was surprised at myself. Usually when I spoke with Sirius I wasn't able to say exactly what I wanted and nothing made sense, this time I felt it did. He looked at me, and gave me one of those smile that made every girl go 'awe'.

'Thank you' He said and his tone was honest and gentle. I just nodded my head.

*

It was a cold February night and I was sitting in the common room staring into the open fireplace in front of me as they guys were discussing Quidditch and I had given up trying to keep up with the conversation after five minutes.

People were sitting playing Wizard's chess, doing homework or reading magazines (all of the fifth years were sitting like robots reading Witch Weekly, apparently some famous Quidditch guy on England's team called Matthew Kips was named one of the most handsome men alive ).

It felts so odd to sit here, I was supposed to be sitting alone in the corner by myself that I always had done, and the fact that I was now surrounded by the most popular guys in school was just no something that I would do. In fact, if someone told me before the summer finished that I dump Erin, befriend the girls in my dormitory and kiss Remus I just laugh at them and say that it was someone's life, I didn't do that stuff. It felt nice having people I felt I relay on, and it felt strange also because I would always be that shy girl reading a book and that didn't exactly went together with being friends with the most popular and michevous guys at school.

Apparently the conversation had moved on from Quidditch to girls.

'Have you seen how much Natalie in Hufflepuff has changed? Her body is rocking' Peter said

'Ah, but Mathilda has coloured her hair light blonde and no guys can resist a blonde' Siruis said and I unconsciously took a piece of my brown hair between my fingers.

I was I was blonde.

'I have only eyes for Lily' James giving a glaze and Sirius hit him gently on the shoulder.

'Mate, when will you ever realise that she isn't that into you?' He said

'She is into me. She just don't know it' James said and the rest gave a chuckle.

'Whatever you say, whatever you say' Remus said as James shook his head.

'You guys will see when we'll get married and have loads of children, who is laughing then' James said in a played on desperate voice.

'That will be the same they day that Sirius will settle down' Peter said

'Hey!'

'Sorry Sirius…but he is right you know' Remus said

'Oh, I need to go to Dumbledore's office. He wanted you with me Sirius' James said and Sirius raised an eyebrow.

'What do you actually do in there with him?' Peter asked. Sirius face broke out to a grin.

A number of perverted things came up in my head.

'Well I can come up with a few things' Sirius said

I would for sure, never get those images out of my mind right now.

'Euw, get your perverted mind away from my thoughts' Remus said

'IS that what you think I do when I go to his office?' James asked shocked.

'…I don't get it' Peter said confused and everyone gave a stare at Peter.

'Wow. Sometimes you're a bit thick Peter' James said and Peter shrugged his shoulders.

'Okay, Sirius let's go' Said James as they walked through the room and walked out of the portrait.

I was on the verge to go up to the dormitory but Remus looked at me, his eyes feeling as they tried to say something to me.

'Becky, I need to talk to you' He said in a serious voice and a strange feeling was starting to come about in my stomach, what was he going to say?

'Okay' I said confused as he nodded and took my hand guiding my up to the stairs, away from the noise until we're at the top and standing next to the guys' dormitory. I didn't know what to expect. Was he going to bring up the werewolf thing, god, I hope not. Maybe, he was going to say something about the homework we had tomorrow? Even I heard how stupid that sounded in my head.

'I've been thinking' He started and this got me ever more puzzled than I already was.

'About the kiss, at Christmas' He said when he saw my face.

Oh, the kiss. Shit, was he going to say I'm an awful kisser? Because that be just mean.

'And, well…Becky the thing is, I really like you, I mean like like you'

* * *

I know you guys all want to kill me, firstly for taking so long to update BUT I have a explination and it's a damn good one. My computer is . I mean it works sometimes and the other times it juts goes 'Computer says NO' ( I love Little Britain ) and goes all black and doesn't want to start. I'm using the family's computer at the moment. AND secondly for the cliffhanger and that's mainly because...I've the power. It feels so good. Mohaha. Okay, no actually I haven't totally 100% figured out what is going to happen and I didn't want to not update since it has taken all this time.

THANKS guys for reviewing, favourising, alerting and reading =)

I might be uploading a new story soon. Rose/Scorpius and I also have a '10 Things' ( I know there are like 1000000 of them but I love them and I think it's helps when you write to have an image in the mind of what the person is like.

As per usual I'm babbling on. Anyway.

Now go and the thing =)


	19. Eyes For You

Despair

That what I felt, why did I put myself through all of this? I would without blinking go straight to Remus, everything just feel hopeless. How was I supposed to know what was the right thing to do?

**Remus is wonderful, I know how he feels about me, he see me and is a gentleman** SO GO FOR IT I thought to myself. **What about Sirius then, maybe just maybe he will look at me the way I see him. But that is never going to happen, is it? So why should I let imaginative relationship keep me from having a real one? **

Everything feeling as it slowed down.

Suddnely I couldn't speak, it felt like something was in my throat, and I couldn't utter a word. Might as well, because I didn't know what to say. Frankly I didn't even know what I felt. Was Remus more than a friend?

When did it start to get so complicated? By some reason I started to shake, and it went through my body.

'And, I need to know how you feel' said Remus, and his bronze eyes started into mine. How could I possible not feel anything for him when he was standing there and being so honest?

I started to panic, I liked Remus and I did thing I could see him as more of a friend but the voice inside my mind shouted 'Sirius'.

I started to fiddle uncontrollably with my hair, something I always did when in panic moods like this.

Would it be selfish of me not to give up something that would never happen to something real?

The answer was yes

'Remus I…' I said, and swallowed. 'Think that we can be great together' I meant what I said, I think that we could be great together there wasn't a doubt about that and to my surprise I didn't add any but's. Because, why should one guy that I'll never have keep me away from having a relationship?

I convinced myself I had done the right thing.

'And you wouldn't feel disgusted by me?' He asked and I almost melted there, because I realized that he was as unconfident as me if not more, he considered himself as some kind of monster but was not at all who he was.

'Not at all'

Then I felt his wet lips on mine, his hands on my waist and I put my hands around his neck and we kissed for the second time. The first kiss had been more innocent and more withdrawn while this one had more passion to it, and I wondered why I even doubted being with Remus.

After a couple minutes, we stopped and all I could do was smile. I was afraid I feel unhappy, thinking about Sirius but I felt a rush of joy in my body and all those thoughts about Sirius wet away.

'Could we, not tell anyone about this yet?' He asked me and I raised my eyebrow.

'Why?'

'Because I just want to keep you for myself for a little while, you know how the others are practically having our wedding invitations ready' He said and I chuckled.

I couldn't help to think what had taken me so long.

*

I was walking in an empty corridor in the castle, on my way to an Ancient Runes lesson when suddenly someone's hand covered my face and quickly the view of the corridor disappeared, and all I could see was a space of darkness and someone's hand on my eyes.

'James?' I guessed and the person shook my hand with their hands that was on my face.

'Lily?' I tried, and I got the same reaction

'Mary?'

'Alice?'

'…Sirius?' The person now dropped their hands and I could make out the hallway now. I turned around to see that it was Remus.

'You're really bad at this' He said, giving out a quick grin as he took my hand.

'There are worse things to be bad at' I said, giving him a bit of nudge on the arm. We started to walk, being watched by the portraits hanging on the walls. I didn't like having all these living portraits, it felt like every move you did was being watched.

Remus didn't say anything more, and the only sound that could be heard was the one of our shoes stepping on the floor but I could sense that there was something he wanted to say by the way he tried to say something several times but stopped himself or how he squeezed his hand into mine a bit to hard sometimes.

We had come to the come to the corridor of the third floor, and were in a secluded area Remus looked at me and then flinched away nervously.

'Becky, what would you say if I asked you to be my girlfriend? Officially' He asked me. Everything started to seem much lighter – the colors, the fact that I was going to spend two periods listening to a teacher's boring voice about a subject I didn't like.

'What took you so long?' I said, giving and we both smiled. He put his arms around me and our lips met for the third time.

*

My eyes slowly opened and were meet by the light coming through the windows of the dormitory. Just a couple more minutes I said, as I buried my face on to the white pillow and my eyes immediately felt heavier.

Just a couple more minutes and then I will go up…I thought for myself before falling into sleep again in the warmth of the bed.

I was woken this time by Lily, shouting in a hurry after her bag, and it was considerable much easier to be more alert this time and I rubbed my eyes as I focused on finding my watch, laying somewhere on the bed table.

8:30

That meant just half an hour to get ready, I cursed myself for going back to sleep the second time and quickly took away the covers from my bed and jumped to my bare feet on the cold floor and frantically started to look for my uniform.

That's one the great things with having a uniform - you don't need to worry what you're going to wear each morning.

I found the uniform in one of my many piles stocked with clothes under my bed, being not one of the most organized people in the castle.

Lily had left, and I ran down the staircase to the common room while putting my wavy brown hair in a ponytail. When I finally got down in the common room I saw Remus standing there.

'Good morning' He said cheery.

'Good morning' I answered back and as I walked towards him, who was standing at the end of the staircase put his hand out for me to hold, and I did. It was warm and strong.

We walked, together; hand in hand to the Great Hall. By some reason I had the image of everyone staring at me as we walked in but when we passed the tables as we went to the Gryffindor table, there people weren't and I felt I could relax.

We sat down, and I could feel the eye of the people sitting at the Gryffindor table scanning us and there was an awkward silence and then the most bizarre thing happened – people started to hand in money, galleons and sickles and knuckles to James who was looking confident with a grin on his face. I took a look at Remus, he didn't seem to understand what was going on neither. Lily was just about to give James a handful of sickles but he shook his face.

'For you Lily, I make an exception' He said, running his fingers through the messy jet black hair. Lily however, looked a bit annoyed.

'Just take the freaking money Potter' she said frantically moving her hands. He shook his head again and she put the money on to the other side of the table where James sat. 'There' she muttered.

'You guys couldn't have waited a month longer to get together' Alice asked Remus and me and I raised an eyebrow.

'You guys betted on me and Remus?' I asked slightly amused.

'Yep. I had January' said Lily

'April' said Sirius

'June'

'May'

'September'

'August'

'Peter won when the first kiss bet' Mary said as she poured juice into her glas.

'Glad to know you guys are using our relationship to gamble' Remus said, giving a grin.

'Anytime, anytime' said Sirius

'May I just say that it was me who predicted this relationship from the start' Dorcas said

'I did, don't you guys remember?'

'NO. It was me I'm telling you'

'Hello. Who was it that predicted them during Divination?' James said and Lily rolled her eyes at this 'Anyone could, they're perfect together and Divination is just a load of crap' she said and James was about to say something but the clock ringing for us students to go to class interrupted him.

As the other started to go Remus held me back a bit in the Hall.

'Are you okay? With everyone knowing I mean? He asked and for these things I adored him for.

'Yes' I said smiling, giving him a fast kiss and we rushed away to the first period.

*

My quill was dangling in my mouth and my Potions book was in front of me as I was sitting on a chair studying with Lily in the Common Room. It was after dinner so there was the usual crowd of people here too, making it warm and almost impossible to actually learn something.

I was completely stuck, Potions wasn't my best subject to say and it made me restless to see Lily with no problem writing her essay in front of me.

'How can you possible understand this?' I said after reading a particular instruction about how to make the Phoenix Potion.

I decided I might as well give up.

'Wait, read through what I have written and see if you understand it otherwise I can explain' She said handing me the essay and I was grateful as I started to read.

When I was finished I was more confused about the essay than ever and I felt like banging my head on to the table.

'Did you understand?' She asked, as her dark red hair was dangling over the paper.

'…almost' I lied, I didn't feel like having more information that I didn't understand to make me more unsure.

There was a noise, and I looked back to see Peter, James and Remus stepping through the portrait and walking through the crowd determined towards me. I couldn't help but the wonder what they wanted.

'Hey guys' I said as they were standing in front of me.

'Becky, you need to talk to Sirius' James said seriously and I looked at him confused.

'Why me? I asked. It wasn't that I didn't want to, but I couldn't help but to be a bit curious to why me

'Because I tried talking to him but he won't say was bothering him. Remus tried and Sirius didn't tell him either. Peter also tried but failed to, and hence this means you're next to try' James said and I looked down at my essay that only had the words 'This essay sucks' written on it.

'Where is he?' I asked as I put the books in my bag and getting up from the chair.

'Black Lake' Remus answered fast and I made my way through the crowd of Gryffindors,

It was dark outside, the moon together with the stars lit up the sky, from the forbidden forest there could be heard howling.

My heart raised a bit as I tried to find Sirius. It was hard to see anything and I jumped every time I walked on a stick that broke.

Then finally I saw him sitting looking out on the lake. Slowly I walked towards him.

'Hey' I said when I was so near that he could hear me and Sirius looked back, his gray eyes meeting mine. He didn't say anything and I started to doubt if I was the right person as I sat down on the soft grass beside him.

For many minutes we didn't say anything, just admiring the moonlight reflected in the dark lake.

'I understand if you don't want to talk about what's troubling you' I started as I ripped out some grass to fiddle with to take away my nerves, I wasn't good at these kind of things 'But everyone's worried about you, so when you feel better go back to the Common Room' I said and was just about to raise myself and go.

'I don't even know why I care about what they think' He started and I sat stunned still.

'I received an owl from my parents today. I think it's actually is the only one they have ever sent to me' He said in a irritated voice 'They say they don't consider themselves me as their son because I'm not going to join Voldemort together with my brother'

An owl sitting in one of the tall trees had started to hoot, its sound piercing the ears.

Every time Sirius talked about his family I realized how much I loved mine, even though my dad embarrassed me and I was constant jealous at Alva they were after all family and I don't know if I could handle if they treated me like Sirius' family did to them.

'Of course you care; it's your parents after all and we can't help that. You're doing the right thing with standing up for yourself, it takes one hell of a person to do that because family is after all supposed to love you in thick and thin and as a child you admire your parents and try to be like them so to go against everything you been told and what you once thought was right is hard. You can be proud to be the person you are, and you have made your own family here.' I said under my breath.

Then for a couple of minutes it went silent between us again and by this time it was almost pitch black outside.

'Becky, Remus can be happy to have a girlfriend like you' Sirius said and my cheeks went warm.

'Thank you' I said silent

The owl had now stopped hooting.

'Let's go' Sirius instructed and we up from the uncomfortable grounds and walked to the castle.

* * *

THANK YOU guys for all the awsome reviews, alerts, favourising and for reading the story! =D

I know...WOW. So yeah, Becky and Remus are together. What do guys think of that? I was planning to wait a bit like...seventh year but it just happend and when I think of it this fits in more into what will happen. I know I been writing a lot about Sirius and his family but keep this in mind, everyone that acts confident usually isn't and I mean, having a family that hates don't exactly make you feel accepted and I'm trying to convey that Sirius can talk about this with Becky and in a way, she's one of the few people that sees the 'real' Sirius. Not that I don't think Sirius is this rebel, because he really was and that was just in his personality. Hm...I don't think any of that made any sense but whatever ;P

Next chap is in Sirius POV to get an potrayal of what Sirus thinks about the Remus/Becky relationship.

It's the Britain's Got Talen final to day. Yay! Me and my dad are both obssesive with all the talents shows. I'm voting for Aidan, he's a kid that dances incredible.

Everything is breaking down here; my computer, the family's computer and now my phone *sigh* This mean there are some technical difficulties delaying my updates.

Exams are in one week, Baaah, anyway this means that I won't be able to update next weekend maybe, possibly the week after that but I'm not 100%. And I'm moving back to Sweden after 5 years here ( really don't want to move but anyway ) so I'm gonna also need to start packing down things, organise and spend time with all my friends hee = also a delaying factor for the nexts updates. Soooorrrrrry.

For next time,

Keep good, I'm envious of all people that doesn't have exams now.


	20. Broomcupboard

**I do not own Harry Potter**

**Sirius Pov**

The moonlight shone into the dormitory where James, Peter and I were sitting, Remus was downstairs in the common room with Becky. We had taken this moment to plan Remus' birthday party. Or rather Remus' "secret" birthday party.

'I'll go in the kitchen and get the food' said James who was sitting on the bed.

'I'll instruct Becky to memorize Remus so he doesn't want to go into the dormitory until the evening so that we can decorate' I said, almost jumping on the bed of excitement.

'And I'll see so that everyone is informed about the party' said Peter. 'Perfect' said James as he was gazing at his broom that lay in the corner.

This was going to be great; I wanted the day to come so badly.

'Let's go down to the others now. Starting to get a bit boring' I said and James and Peter dusted of their clothes as we walked out from the dormitory which was on top of the tower and down the stone stairs to the common room.

As it was evening a lot of people where in the common room and it was the usual noise. I love noise; it makes the place feel alive while in my parents' house it's cold, dark and quiet making it feel creepy and haunted.

We found Remus and Becky sitting in he coach holding hands. How can they not be perfect for each other?

Those looks that Remus gave Becky, like she was the most vulnerable thing that would break any moment made me wonder if I ever find a girl like that.

I just have never pictured myself acting that way with a girl.

'Awe, aren't two sweet all boyfriend and girlfriend together' James said to Remus and Becky, and her cheeks turned a faint red.

Remus rolled his eyes.

'Are you guys ever going to leave us alone?' He asked in a joking way, we all three shook our heads frantically.

'Never!' I shriked.

Becky shrugged her shoulders 'Well, if James will ever get Lily then it's our turn to have fun' She said and everyone chuckled.

'L-' I was planning to address Becky as 'Love' but I had corrected myself, because it I realised I feel bad calling her that, especially when Remus was around.

You don't call your brother's girlfriend for love, even if it's meant jokingly, and Remus was my brother.

'Looks like you're going to wait for rain in the draught then' I said and James shook his head 'You'll see, you'll see that I'll get my Lily flower' he said and everyone broke our in laughter.

'Lily flower, really?' Peter said amused. James in protest put his arms around him.' She's my Lily flower, and that's that'

I stood on my toes, batted my eyelashes and flung my hair and started to say the only quotation from Shakespeare that I knew.

'Oh James. My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite' I said pretending to be Lily.

James gave me a nudge on the arm.

'You memorized Shakespeare?' Becky asked sounding a bit taken a back.

'Please, the only reason the only reason why you memorized it was to get in the pants of Vera Dane' James said and I vaguely recalled her.

She had been beautiful, with long blonde hair that shimmered of silver, and I wouldn't be surprised if she was a veela.

'She was preeetty' I argued

'My point exactly' said James.

Now what was that supposed to mean?

I had dated…okay none that I thought was unattractive, but surely I wasn't that shallow?

'Do you guys really think I'm that superficial?' I asked, and feared what I know to be their reply and wasn't exactly surprised when they all three brook out in a loud 'yes'

'It's just you Sirius, you don't notice girls that aren't classified as beauties' Remus said and to my horror I realised that there was a truth in what they said and I didn't like that.

*

The Defence Against Dark Arts had gone particular and unusually slowly today and so it was with great pleasure that I walked out of from the classroom. My eyes searched the heads of the students rushing out of the classroom to the corridor.

Finally I saw the recognisable wavy chocolate brown hair that was Becky's. She was of course one of the last to walk out, in hands with Remus.

I steered my way towards them, almost knocking out a pair of girls as I did.

'Remus, you wouldn't mind if I stole Becky for a couple of minutes?' I asked him, Becky gave a look of confuse, and I thought to see something scared in her eyes too.

'Nope. I'll be in at the Black Lake' He said calmly and walked away as Becky muttered 'okay'. I started to walk and nudged towards her to come along and so she did, and we stood facing each other in the end of the corridor.

'We're having a surprise party for Remus birthday, so we would need you to keep him away from the common room until half past seven.' I explained and she gave me a smile.

'You guys do realise that Remus doesn't particular like big parties or to be surprised?' She said and I smiled back. She was just too innocent.

'Any excuse having a party' I answered. Becky broke out in a snigger, then a loud laughter. I had never heard a laugh quiet like it, it sounded almost as singing and it was impossible not to start laughing too. I gave her a befuddled look. And she leaned slowly towards me. 'You know all those rumours about Professor

First I saw Professor Clark walking into one of the broom closets there, and just a couple minutes later Professor McGonagall must be in love because she is acting so nice?' She whispered. I nodded.

'I'm thinking it's true since Professor McGonagall and Professor Clark just want into a broom closet together' She said and started to laugh again as I roared with laughter.

Then the image of McGonagall of in the act came into my head and I started to feel a bit sick. 'I think we should leave'. Becky frantically nodded her head 'I think so too'

*

It was D Day.

The whole day I had been waiting for the lessons to end, and it was after what felt like one of the longest History of Magic lesson (which is saying something) that the party could finally start as we started to decorate the room.

Colourful balloons had been magically blown and they were spreading around the common room which had done a drastic make over. There were banners that Alice had made (the most artistic of the Gryffindor), music was filling the room, butterbeer and firewhisky had been place around together with different cakes, crisps and candy that had already landed on he floor.

Right now, everything was pitch dark and everyone was in hiding, I had found a place behind the coach together with James and Peter.

The sound of the painting of the naked lady opening echoed in the room and Becky walked in, with Remus close next to her.

In one second we jump up, screaming 'SURPRISE' as someone hits the light and we're faced with the surprised face of Remus faced us. He looked as though he was debating whether to kill or hug us.

'Thanks' He said after a while, smiling, deciding for the second option.

'No problems, happy birthday mate' James said and everyone broke out in scream crying out 'Happy Birthday Remus!'

It didn't take along time after that where I found myself intoxicated caused by a mixture of butterbeer and firewhisky.

I sat lip locked to a blonde fifth year in my lap. My hands moving rhythmically through her hair and her arms around my neck.

'Well, I'd ask Sirius to join us, but it looks like he already has started a celebration of his own I see' James said with a smirk as he was standing with Remus' cake in his hands.

I showed him a certain finger, and he laughed.

Someone lit the candles that were in the chocolate cake that we had gotten and everyone in the room, including me had stopped in their actions to sing 'Happy Birthday'. James walked with the cake toward Remus, with Becky sitting next to and blew out the 17th candles.

I could hear Becky whisper in his ear 'Happy Birthday' as they shared a fast kiss and the celebration continued in the order of opening the present, which were, mostly from everyone in our and he was just opening one of the presents that me and James had bought him.

Remus slowly took up the content, which was an t-shirt and read the text that said 'I'm badass' as he gave a smile. 'Thanks guys' a bit sarcastic.

'Yooou aree welcooome' I said slurry

'And you have had too much to drink' Remus said amused.

From that on, the party got wilder, the music got louder, the room got darker and the alcohol was more absorbed.

It was great.

I was dancing with the blonde fifth year and having a great time as the portrait could been heard opening, but it's not really a thing which is noticeable under the influence of alcohol so I wasn't thinking of that fact that everyone already was inside here and the only persons that knew the password other than us was the teachers.

I was in the middle of my move when the lights turned on. Everyone made a loud groan, wondering who the hell the party blooper was, as we're faced with McGongall's brown eyes.

Shit we're in trouble.

She was wearing a white nightgown, and for the first time I have seen here, her black hair was let loose but the stern look on her face made me think of other things.

'IF I wouldn't been caring around bad news I would get each and everyone of you in big trouble. I will need to speak to you in private Ms McDonald and when I get back I don't want to hear a sound of that awful music again AND those firewhiskys shouldn't be seen' she told us and Mary's face had gone from smiling into one of despair, everyone knew that McGonagall calling you out in the middle of the night wasn't good as she shaken walked to McGonagall and the silence was still in the air as they walked out and still lasted in the room.

Then, someone started to do 'reparo' charms and after a couple of seconds everyone (or everyone that is that wasn't under as much influence of alcohol as the rest ) started to clean up.

It was me, James, Peter, Alice, Frank, Remus, Lily, Becky and Dorcas left sitting in the common room, early in the morning hours waiting for Mary.

The first glimt of sunlight shone in and and everyone laid decked. Then there was the sound of the door opening – it was Mary coming in. Her eyes were watery; her face was filled with tears. The look on her face said that this was one of the most difficult things she ever had to do.

Lily, who had now awoken, went up from the chair and ran to embrace Mary that cried into the dark red hair that was Lily's.

With a heavy voice Mary said quietly, but so everyone heard 'M-y…mum is d-ead. He-he killed her'

And for the first time, it sunk in to me; Voldemort was never going to stop unless some people would be prepared to fight.

* * *

EXAMS ARE OVER! *Gives cake to everyone* or actually mine stopped last Friday buuut I have been really busy, so sorry for the delay.

And, bad news. I won't be able to update for a while. ( I think ) I'm offically moving from UK to Sweden in one week so I really won't have the time and when we get to Sweden I can promise there will be trouble with internet and all and packing up and so on.

I might re-do this chapter, I'm not so happy with it but euh.

THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS33 And for the favourising, alerting and reading. And thanks for everyone wishing me luck with exams. :)

* * *


	21. Beat It

I'm alive!=D And of course, I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

The month of March flew by quickly without any change and the beginning of April soon arrived together with the long sought rays of sunshine. I sat with together with Lily and Alice out in the warm courtyard trying to catch some sun.

My eyes were closed, and I could make out the sound of shoes tramping on the pavement.

Everything just seemed to flow right now and I could make out a vague feeling of happiness.

'This is what life should be like, just mashing in the sun all day' said Lily dreamy gazing at the people that had now started to play a game of exploding snaps.

'Wouldn't that be nice' sighed Alice as Lily started to sing a song, which I had never heard before but I decided that I liked. '_Wouldn't it be nice if we're older, then we wouldn't have to wait so long. Wouldn't it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong_' she stopped at the sight of me and Alice's unchanged faces.

'C'mon, it's the Beach Boys' she shrieked but we just shook our heads and Lily mumbled something about wizard's and witches should get more acquainted with muggle music.

There was a moment of silence where we just sat still breathing in the humid air.

'What do you guys reckon James is up to in Dumbledore's office' Lily asked and Alice and I couldn't help but to giggle – it was clear that Lily was more curious about James then she wanted to let people to know.

'Maybe they're up to some top secret group or something' Alice joked.

'Ha, James Potter saving the world that's comedic considering that he barely can move with that big head of his' replied Lily in a mockingly voice.

'Okay, maybe then Dumbledore is giving him secret advice on how to cheat against the Slytherin's for the coming Quidditch match' Alice suggested

'That's more likely. OH, maybe they're having a knitting class' Lily reflected

The idea of Dumbledore together with James in the headmaster's office teaching each other different types of ways to knit made my stomach feel like it was bubbling.

'Or, maybe, just maybe they're just having a chat?' I suggested and a silence occurred again but was broken of by all three of us shaking our heads and said 'Nah'

*

I often found myself thinking about what would happen to my family, I knew that it was really silly but I couldn't help it, since the death of Mary's mother there was an air of tenseness between the students. You couldn't help but to wonder if the next person that the Head of House would inform that someone you knew had been murdered would be you, and that terrified me.

I sat at the Gryffindor table together during the dinner, it was a calm breezy night and the ceiling in the Great Hall showed of a dark sky with twinkling stars, it had a calming effect.

I didn't feel much like eating today and I only took some bites of the steak and kidney pie from my plate. Remus gave me some worrying glances but I choose to ignore them.

Beside me James and Sirius where having a deep conversation about the colour of the robe which Dumbledore was wearing tonight.

'It's a orangey red' said James determined

'No, it's more like a deep pink' reflected Sirius gazing to the teacher's table where Dumbledore was sitting and was in a discussion with Professor McGonagall

I felt a rare rush of boredom, and restless in my whole body.

'Becky?' It was an rasp voice that had called out my name behind me and I turned around, I was met by Erin's green eyes and I gave out a annoyed groan. What did she want? I was repulsed by each movement and every world that she said now and I just wanted to her to say, whatever she was going to say and leave me alone.

Six years with her was enough, as I recalled all those times where she bossed me around like I was her doormat and I felt proud over myself for actually tolerating it for so long.

She blinked at me as she fiddled with her stupid blonde hair. I wondered if the clones had thrown her out.

'Well, I just wanted to say sorry for treating you so bad this year' Erin said in a pompous voice that didn't fit in with what she was saying.

I couldn't help but to frown at her words – this year? Then what about all of those other years where she treated me worse than a mosquito, had they all magically disappeared?

I didn't say anything for a couple of moments; I just gave her a hard stare. What was I supposed to say? I'd never forgive her but the thought of a confrontment made me nauseous and my whole body shake. 'Fine' I said coolly and turned my head around to look down at the rest of the steak and kidney pie.

Erin gave a light cough.

'I was wondering if you wanted to go with me to the next Hogsmeade meeting?' Erin asked.

How dared she?

'Becky is already going with us next Hogsmeade meeting' Lily said and shoot a killer look at Erin. This wasn't true of course but I was happy to have Lily defending me and I smiled at her thankfully.

More and more people were now silent and the looks had turned to me and Erin, making me feel very uncomfortable.

I just wanted this over.

'Well, uhm – maybe then you could help me with the History of Magic homework?' Erin asked carefully and this made me fume with anger. I couldn't believe what she was saying. Did she really think that it be all over now? I just couldn't get myself to act like the person that she made me be again.

'Erin. Throughout my life I have been dealing with people like you that feel bigger by making people like me feel even smaller and you know what? I'm sick of it. The thing is, someday far off you might see your faulty with treating people like you do, and until then there's no chance that we'll ever be friends again' I snapped and took a deep breath. I couldn't believe what just came out of my mouth.

I felt relieved, it was like my chapter with Erin had finally ended. Everything felt much lighter and I felt proud, then realisation hit me as everyone looked at me and I started to shake frantically and I started to feel sick.

In hysteria, I raised myself from my seat, grabbed my bag and left the room with big steps as I felt the eyes of the others in the back of my head as finally, what felt like ages came out of the Great Hall and walked rapidly up and through the corridors until I arrived in the library.

At this time of day, not many people are in the library and I passed the empty tables, and the shelves.

I hadn't plan to go here, it had just happened, I kept on walking in the library until I had gotten to the end where no one rarely was and I sat down on the window pane, my hands placed around my legs and I gazed out on to the dark silhouette of the forbidden forest.

It wasn't like me to create a scene like that, or to snap at people. I tended to keep it all to myself but this time it just snapped for me. I had the right to do that, right? I mean, Erin expected me to come back to her so I could be her dummy once again, and I didn't want that.

A part of me was proud for what had happened and another couldn't believe what had actually just happened.

It was like something had just ran out of me, and I felt tired but tired in that sense when you have worked too much and actually contributed to something.

My eyelids felt much heavier then they had before, and I closed them so that everything went black and I went into daze.

I was woken up by hearing steps coming my way, and I rubbed my eyes tiresome.

I soon recognised the dark hair, as always perfect in place, the grey eyes and the Gryffindor uniform which Sirus always wore more casual than most, with his tie hanging carelessly tied, one or two buttons more unbutton than it was supposed to. He goggled me for a moment and than sat down next to me.

'That was brilliant' he said and could feel my cheeks starting to burn, 'Thanks'.

'I'm proud over you. That couldn't be easy for you to do 'the words felt like they stayed there in the air for one minute.

My eyes looked straight in to his.

'No it wasn't' I said honestly 'But it felt good' I said and Sirius smiled.

I was starting to think that The Marauders may be a bad influence on me.

*

It was a cold rainy day, yet all of the students of Hogwarts was outside, gathered and were intensely watching the Gryffindor vs Slytherin match.

I was standing, leaning over the rail, and draped with a Gryffindor scarf around my neck together with Remus, Sirius and Peter. The score was a tie at the moment and everyone stood in excitement waiting for one of the seekers to get a hold of the snitch,

I could make out James flying on his broom, and I have to say I admired him for having so much passion for a sport.

The Slytherin's were also chanting and screaming loudly, although their tactics was more like coming up with chants to undermine the other team while Gryffindors was more in the spirit of the team.

I have to admit, whether I liked it or not that I found this match thrilling.

'And Slytherin's Wilfurd just scored' Said the voice from the speaker, and the Slytherin' s gave out a big roar while we others continued in a hopeful anticipation to watch the game.

The suddenly there was a drastic change in the game, when Williams ( Gryffindor seeker ) had seen something in the air, probably the snitch as she went into a dive. Of course, Slytherin's seeker Keds saw this and he immediately dove in behind her.

They were at each other sides, both plunging for the snitch, then Keds started to shove his elbow into Williams' elbow, making all of the Gryffindors go in to a 'Bu'.

Williams was starting to lose her balance by this, as Keds continued stopping her from getting the Snitch that was just in front of her.

There was a silence hanging over the stadium now, as if uttering a word would break a jinx.

Gasping for air, I saw how Williams miraculously gained back her balance and stretched her arm out for the snitch then in a moment of just seconds, Keds had kicked her so that she fallen of her broom, she wasn't high up in the air, but enough to create a heavy fall.

The silence broke of by everyone around screaming, Slytherin shouting 'Go Keds' and Gryffindors trying to grab the attention of Madam Collins.

I was confused as the Gryffindors had suddenly started to rant and cheer. My eyes went to the pitch where Williams had landed, she was sitting, her clothes covered in mud that the rain had made the ground but in her hand a small golden ball was.

'GRYFFINDOR TO THE FINAL' I heard the Hufflepuff boy say.

'Admit it' Sirius, said as he turned around and looked at me.

'Admit what?' I asked

'That you enjoyed this game' He said, and I couldn't help but to smile ' I did'.

We started to make our way out in the crowd, I felt uncomfortable in it, there was way to much sweat and scream and I was afraid of getting in between someone.

We had just arrived outside the pitch when Sirius stopped.

'Becky, there is something I want to show you' Said Sirius and pointed at the different directions than the others went back to the castle.

'Sure' I said confused and I looked for Remus, who was standing in front of me. 'Uhm, Sirius wanted to show me something, so I see you in the common room' I said and he nodded as Sirius quickly grabbed my hand.

We went past all the people going out of the pitch, but instead on going to the stands we went under until we came into the pitch.

I couldn't possibly make out what Sirius was going to do and then he let go of my hand to run to the other side of the pitch and when he came back he had a broom in his hand.

'I was thinking of making you take a ride around the school'

Everything about the idea was wrong, dangerous and outrageous. I remembered the flying lessons in my first year and how I, after many lessons finally got 1m in the air where I had lost all my balance and felt down on the ground.

'Sorry, but no' I said

Of all the things I had expected, this was not it.

'Do you trust me?' He asked softly and I started to frantically fool around with my hair.

'Well that is just, completely…irrelevant' I said under my breath.

To my surprise, when I thought about it; I did trust Sirius and that shocked me because I'm not one to trust people easily and it made me feel relaxed knowing that I did.

'Is it?' He said grinning, as he placed the broom between his legs.

My head was frantically debating with is self. It was dangerous and would probably end in disaster but it seemed kind of exciting at the same time.

I was shocked at myself for even considering it.

But what was the worst that could happen?

OH merlin, I'm starting to think like a troublemaker.

Without thinking, and while shaking I sat down behind Sirius at the broom.

'When I say speed down, then speed down' I said clearly, and in a voice that didn't fit in with the panic I was going through.

'It's a deal' He said, and he took my arms and put them around them. I started to breath heavily as he shot his feet up and we were in the air.

The higher we got and the more speed we gained, at first I started to get panicked by it and I was on the verge of screaming 'go down' as we were 10 m over the ground and the Quidditch pitch just got smaller and smaller as I buried my nails into Sirius robes.

It was still raining and I feel every drop landing on my body

Then suddenly, as Sirius got more speed we flew more rapider than before, but instead of getting nervous a sensation hit me – I was still scared to death but I enjoyed it, and as I looked over the Forbidden Forest I started to understand better why James liked it so much.

The wind that blew into my face, felt soothing.

I almost felt disappointed when we closed in on the pitch again, after have flown two times around the castle and I felt my shoes touch the muddy grass.

For a time we just stood there, still, I felt out of breath and it felt surreal.

'That was dangerous, frightening and completely reckless' I said, and Sirius turned around to look at me.

'But you enjoyed it?' He asked, with a small grin

'Yes' I admitted.

* * *

First of all, I'm going to clarify somethings. I will continue with this story and even though it's currently a Remus/OC it's going to be a Sirius/OC in the end. =D

So yeah, considering all of the amount of Remus/Becky in the lasts previous chapters I decided to get a little of Sirius/Becky action now.

Sorry about the time, but as said, I have moved so it has taken sometime to update. (= anyway, internet is ... kind of working here. We have signal in like one room ( which just happens to be mine so that's great ) and on one computer and it's goig to take until August until it be fixed )

And yeah, The chapter is in honour of Micheal Jackson ( hence the title )

I have to say, you guys are all tooo sweeet. Thank you for all the good luck with the move and the AMAZING words. I really appreciate it and it means a lot. So thank you guys for reviewing, favourising, alerting and reading.

Oh. I was going to do a Rose/Scorpius but I'm going to do a Oliver/OC now instead because it's Summer and the story is set during the Summer so decided to make a Summer Story;p xD I will publish it in the coming days, like tomorrow...or the day after that ( whatever day that is...Monday I think? Anyway ) so check it out ;) But this story will still be my main project and I'll update a lot faster now.


	22. Johnny

I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

I didn't how long I had been sitting daydreaming in the couch in the Gryffindors common room with my head resting at Remus' shoulder when he whispered in my ear that he wanted me to come with him and as I moved my head away from his shoulders, correcting my uniform as I felt the burn in my legs as I did.

For being an evening, it was very quiet in the common room, something that I enjoyed very much.

I followed him as he walked across the room to the stair that we started to walk up.

We passed my dormitory and I knew instantly that we were going to the boys' dormitory now.

A bit more nervous, we walked the rest of the stairs up without saying a word.

As I looked over at Remus, I could tell he was nervous too; there was an air of awkwardness between us, both knowing what would happen in a couple of minutes.

When we got to the top, I almost wished that the stair would be longer then perhaps I would have had some more time to think.

Even though walking up the stairs had felt like it had gone by to quick when Remus walked over to the door and pressed his hand against the door knob I just wanted the time to go by quicker than it had.

The door opened and we walked in with the circular room, I goggled it as I stepped in. It looked exactly the same like the last time I had been there with the six beds, and clothes was dropped all over the room.

Without noticing, I was breathing a lot harder than before and my heart felt liked it skipped a couple of beats.

Slowly, we walked further in the dormitory with silent steps. It felt like breaking in to another person house.

Remus sat down on the edge of his bed, and in shacking movements I walked to the bed and sat down on the bed too.

I didn't know what would happen, all I knew was that Remus was a gentlemen and we wouldn't go too far, but even though that it felt like I had a big knot in my stomach. In a way, it felt like being in a dream and a nightmare at once.

Because, there was something more that made me felt hesitant than nerves, but at the same time I was excited about it.

Remus hand trembled tickling on my thighs, my hands relaxed on his hips.

Our heads got closer and closer, until I could feel his minty breath. We kissed, but not like we had before, it was more passionate and more intense.

Wrong

It felt wrong, like I was doing something I shouldn't. But how could it be wrong? We had kissed before, and it had never felt like this. He was my boyfriend, and shouldn't I be able to kiss him like this without feeling like giggling?

We stopped kissing and Remus moved his hands from my thighs to the red cover.

'That was…'He started, trying to find the words.

'Weird' I filled in, now looking intensely at my fingernails.

'Yes. Maybe it is just one of those things that it feels weird because we are so good friends' He pointed out in a hopeful voice.

'Yes, we just need to get uh, used to it' I said in a voice that didn't sound like me at all.

Remus nodded, and we got back to the position of Remus hand on my thigh and my hands placed on his hip.

We leaned closer to each other and our lips was almost touching when suddenly the door opened, my head turned around to see James standing there, looking a bit shocked.

'I'm sorry, I'll just leave' He said and was about to turn around when both and me shrieked 'No, stay!'

*

I had drozed at Potions, the words that Professor Slughorn was saying drifted away, my head laying on the bench.

I felt a touch repeating on my shoulder, and I woke up and turned around to see Lily's green almond shaped eyes looking back at me. 'Could you chop the roots in the squares?' She asked as she had already started to stir the potion that we were supposed to make.

'Sure, what potion are we doing again?' I asked, and slowly getting up from the seat to start chopping.

'The expanding potion' She said and smiled and I nodded, continuing to chop.

The door to the classroom opened and the eyes of each student went to professor McGonagall standing at the door opening. 'Professor Slughorn, may I take away Miss Thompson?' She asked in a voice that said that she would do it anyway.

My hands started to shake – what if something happened to my family? It was a thought that I didn't want to have, but it was there in the back of my brain biting it's way forward.

Because, what other reason may she take me out of the class?

'Yes' Answered Slughorn, sounding a bit flabbergasted.

The steps I took were small and I walked slowly to the door, I didn't want to look into McGongall's eyes and see sympathy looking back.

It was like walking on glass, each step I took I was standing in the cross of security and death.

Way to soon I was standing facing her, everyone else had already gone back to their potion and Professor was reading the newspaper.

Professor McGonagall placed a hand on my shoulder as she closed the door.

I was about to break down. This couldn't happen – it was too unreal, too horrifying.

'Relax child, you need to go the Headmaster's office. You've just become an aunt' Professor said with a smile and my heart suddenly felt light as a feather.

I was a bit embarrassed about my preconception, but also a wash of gratefulness, my family was all right and I promised myself to be nicer when I saw them.

'Password is Hippogriff' McGonagall said lightly and I nodded, as I smiled broadly; I couldn't hide my excitement – I'm an aunt now!

I walked to Dumbledore's office with my steps being faster for everyone I took until I was almost running through the empty corridors in the castle. The sun shone in through the glass windows warming up my clothes.

I stood in front of the gargoyle, where I had to stop to take some deep breaths before I said 'Hippogriff' and it turned making a staircase in its way. I walked up the staircase to the hall to the headmaster's office where I walked to the door and knocking on it with my fists.

Within seconds the giant wooden door open to show Dumbledore in purple robes, his with hair and beard looked liked it shined with silver in the light.

'Ah, Miss Thompson, congratulations to becoming an aunt, I have some floo powder in the jar over the fireplace, your family are at your sister and husband's house right now' He said in a calm voice, much unlike the state I was in.

In rushed steps I walked to the fireplace, and just like Dumbledore said there was a jar with floo powder over it.

Now, floo powder had never been my favorite way of transporting but at least it was quick.

Taking a handful of the powder that I dropped in the fireplace as as the flames turned into a green color I said as clearly as I could 'Harrodian' and within seconds everything begun to spin around quickly.

I had travelled by floo powder before but it wasn't something I enjoyed. I felt dizzy and sick, my fingers pulled tightly on my school robe.

It was relief that I felt when I finally landed on the hard floor in the light living room; it was empty, there was a large white couch with black leather chairs surrounding it, a piano and book shelves also composed the room which had French doors looking out the large garden that was starting to bloom.

I stood up, brushing the dirt on my robes, still feeling dizzy.

I could make out voices in the bedroom that was to the left of the living room that I started going towards.

I felt like jumping of excitement as I opened the door to the bedroom and was stroke by the light brown colour that was on the walls.

A crib was placed besides a window, and my sister was sitting on a chair, holding her baby wrapped in a blanket. Alexander was standing next to her, his hand on her shoulder.

There were a lot of people in my room, many of whom I couldn't recongise but I could make out the blonde hair that was Alva's, my parents and a couple of aunts and uncles and people from the wedding.

Anna looked at my, she looked radient as she did her skin almost glowing. 'Come here Becky' She said, still smiling and I made my way past the crowd.

She took the blanket away, and I let out a gasp as I saw possibly the cutest thing I've ever seen. The brown eyes of the baby looked straight into mine and stretched out a chubby arm with tiny fingers on. How was it even possibly to have so tiny fingers?

With my fingers I gently held the small thumb of the baby. 'Is it a boy or girl?' I asked still concentrating on the baby.

'It's a boy' Said Alexander in a proud voice 'His name is Johnny'

'Do you want to hold him?' My sister asked

'Me? No, I don't want to kill your baby' I said and she gave out a small laugh.' Sure you can hold him without anybody dying' She said calmly as she took him in her arms, with the blanket wrapped around him and held him out for me, shocked I gripped the waist and the bum of the baby and held him at my side.

He was so vulnerable, so innocent and so oblivious to what was happening that I couldn't help to be nostalgic and wish it be that simple again when everything was black and white.

It was nearing dinner and I knew I had to get back to Hogwarts. I had said goodbye, and was walking out from Johnny's nursery when I heard the door opening behind me and I turned around.

It was Alva. I had been too busy with Johnny I hadn't noticed how much she had changed. She was still a beauty and would get every give weak on their knees, but her eyes lacked the twinkle she had, small bags under her eyes and I realized that she hadn't put her usual detail in her make up or clothes.

It didn't feel right with her looking like this, it made me uncomfortable.

'Becky, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry' She said, her voice sounding shaken.

Was she talking about when Regulus had attacked me?

'If I hadn't meet Nick, then you had been fine' She took a deep breath 'Well, I ended it with him as soon as I found out'

'Alva, do you really think that it would have made a difference. These guys…they don't care; they do it to show that Voldermort is growing more powerful by the minute. It could have been anyone'

She made an attempt to laugh.

'Since when did you get so wise?'

'Since when did you break up with guys?' I asked and she gave a weak smile back at me.

'He was great. You would have liked him, not like the other guys I've dated. He…took me serious, put my feet back on the ground. Into books, like you' She said and sounded both sad and dreamy,

'You love him, that doesn't happen often to you Alva. Grab the chance, while you have it'

Grab the chance when you have it, or otherwise it will be to late

*

It was lunch and I sat together with Lily Alice and Dorcas on the stone bridge during the lunch break.

The air was humid and I sat closely looking at my nails, the day felt gruesome long and I couldn't wait for it to end.

Alice sat braiding Dorcas brown hair into one plait.

Three girls walked by, all of them wearing the colours of Hufflepuff. The shortest had red hair in a page; I knew her name to be Selena Arc. A sandy brown girl with dark eyes was Elaine Woodbury and the tallest of them was Marlene McKinnon she had thick golden brown hair and ice blue eyes they passed by giggling with each other.

'I wonder how she does it' said Dorcas

'Does what?' Alice asked.

'She and Sirius have dated for four weeks now. That's got o be a record for him'

I continued to stare at my nails.

*

I'm sooo soorrry but I've been busy travelling around. Next update will be a lot quicker because I don't have any plans for the rest of the summer and I'm dying of boredom.

Have you guys seen the new Harry Potter film? I liked it. Or well, personally I think the beginning and middle was great but they kind of ruined the ending because they took so much away. Ah well, I didn't expect to much so it held to my expections.

Tip; Youtube 'A very Potter musical' if you haven't seen it, then do. It is hilariousss.

Thanks to the reviews, it means a lot ;) And thanks to all the alerts and favourising and reading:D


	23. Not As Easy As Said And Done

I don't own Harry Potter

* * *

'It's one month until Summer starts' Remus said in somber voice as we sat down in the Great Hall after the apparation test. I had been pleased with my result, even though it had taken me a lot of time in the end I had made a successful transportation and I was pretty sure I had passed it, not something that every one had done.

Peter had transported his whole body– except his head, A Slytherin girl landed on a muggle's head and a Hufflepuff had managed to set himself on fire.

I was much less excited about the summer than I usually was. This year I would actually be leaving friends and not seem them for months, and I couldn't help to think that it was a bit nice, to actually miss someone and possibly someone's missing you.

It didn't take long until the table was filled and everyone was in discussion about what had happened during the test but I didn't listen because all I could think about was that in one year I would be gone from Hogwarts and I would need to stand on my own to feet and most of all, I would need to figure out what I want to do. I had looked through several brochures but nothing that sounded appealing.

It was quite funny how much I had longed to graduate from Hogwarts but now, when it was one year away I wanted to stay here forever, walk around in the castle and find the secrets of Hogwarts. That would never happen.

'Are you all right Becks?' It was Sirius voice that lifted me back to reality from the dwelling I was in.

I looked up and saw him, with Marlene in his lap. His hands were placed at her shoudlers, she had a cherry lipstick on and smiled towards me.

Once upon time this sight would have made me jealous, but now all I did was to small back and say 'I'm good' back as Remus hand placed itself on my lap making me almost jump of surprise.

We had kissed softly but we hadn't gone even further since that night in his dormitory or even talked about it for that matter.

James stood up 'Bathroom is calling' he said and Lily's eyebrows seemed to tighten.

'Well that's is just front page news. Wait, just allow me to write it down in my notebook. Seriously, Potter do you have any manners?' Lily said and rolled her green eyes. However, this seemed to have the opposite affect on James who smiled confidently.

"So, I am in your notebook. Maybe there is a "L.E + J.P" in it'

'No mate, that's your notebook' Sirius said and for the first time I thought I saw James blush. Was that even possible? That the James Potter could blush?

He was back to his usual confident self as he strutted away.

I realized I needed go to the Owlery, and I got up walking the long way from the Great Hall through the empty corridors and to the circle roomed Owlery, I could smell the scent of spillings from outside and when I opened the door I was surprised to see that I wasn't alone.

'Oh, hello James' He was sitting with his owl, Moon which had the same black color as James' hair on his hand. He looked – not sad, nor as he had been crying but he looked like as…he had been thinking which was more bizarre than the other options.

'Hi Becky' He said and put his hand through his messy jet black hair.

I started to write the letter with was to Alva, she had never sent a owl to be before but she had this time and I felt urgent to reply.

'Have you ever loved someone, who didn't love you back but no matter how hard you tried to forget that person you couldn't and you spend every minute, of every day wishing that maybe this would be the day that she changed her mind?' He asked without breathing and I was so taken back by this that I started to shake.

For me, James was someone who was no other words than to describe but "cool", he was full of confident and adventure but now I saw someone less confident, someone who reminded of me a couple months ago.

'Yes' I said with slow breaths, I could see him raise his eyebrows; he hadn't expected me to answer.

"I know what it feels to like someone that doesn't feel the same way back and when every time you see that person with somebody else it feels as if everything inside of you is crushed' I said, and my breath got heavier after those words and there was a silence between us.

Moon started to eat on James' shirt but he looked oblivious to that, he was just staring at me. 'So what happened?' He asked and the dark night was visible through the window behind him.

"I got over it" I said silent and he eyed me as if he didn't believe that it was possible to ever do that.

He stood up, and Moon flew to the other owls.

"Well, I need to go. Thank you Becky" James said and brushed off the dirt as he made his way to the door.

"James" I said and he stopped as he turned around.

"Yes?" He asked

"Lily will come around, eventually" I said and he gave a grin as he walked out.

It was odd, it had been so long since I had thought of my old feelings of Sirius but today they had come up on several accusations.

I shrugged and went back to writing the letter.

*

I stood leaning against the stonewall exterior of the school on the courtyard alone. It was day that couldn't be described other than grey, the clouds were grey, all colours looked grey, the food the food tasted and even the air felt grey.

There was just something with being alone that felt wonderful yet scary because when I was alone I wanted to be with people, and when I was with people I wanted to be alone. Maybe it is the irony of life, or maybe it just the way I am. Destined always crave something, to get in the spotlight but when I did I freaked out.

The big doors opened to the castle and I turned around. It was unmistakable Marlene McKinnon, she wore a black ribbon diadem in her golden hair. Her icy blue eyes scanned me fast and then walked towards me.

Was she going to say hello to me?

'I don't believe we have been formally introduced. I'm Marlene McKinnon' She said 'I'm Becky Thompson'

She put her right hand out and I did the same as we shook hands with each other.

'You're Remus girl, right?' She asked and smiled as I nodded.

It was unusual for people to just come up to me, that barley knew and start talking. I was half expecting her to say goodbye in a couple of minutes but I admired and liked her for trying.

'So, did you hear what has happened to the front man of Flying Brooms?' She asked and I shook my head, I didn't say that I was totally uninterested in media nor did I know who was the front man of Flying Brooms.

'Well according to the newspaper, he got busted for having drugs in his possession during a event' She said and her voice was full of eagerness.

'No? Really? Who would have guessed?' I said, trying to have at least one of the eagerness in my voice as Marlene had.

'I know, all thought you know when he was dating that foul woman, Christie who was obviously on something it's clear that he had…'

After a while I couldn't help but to shut a lot of things she said, because all of it was gossip and I didn't care too much about gossip. One thing I didn't understand was why she was trying to be friendly with me. She had never spoken to me before.

'Marlene…why are you doing this?' I asked in as calm voice as I could as she had just finished telling me about a couple that was in their fourth year at Hogwarts.

The smiling face she had faded into something more serious, something more aggressive.

'I know that you're a friend of Sirius and he always speaks so good about you so I thought that maybe I should give it a shot and try to get to know you' Her voice was defensive.

Merlin, how stupid was I? There hadn't been any hidden propaganda behind her behavior, she had just…tried to befriend me.

'I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have…' I said and felt ashamed.

'No you shouldn't have had. But I can understand why you did react like that. Well, we should go if we don't want to be late for next period' she said and had just like that got back to her smiling self again.

I decided that I liked her.

*

Remus and I was back on the edge of his bed, his hand was trembling up my waist and my hand on his thigh. We leaned closer until I could smell the sweet-brier scent of his light brown hair as we kissed, with the same intensity as last time but yet again it felt wrong and I couldn't understand a thing.

It felt awkward, like

Remus was my boyfriend, and why was it such a problem for us to step over this line?

We both stopped and looked at each other.

'This isn't right, is it?' Remus asked.

'I don't think so' I said and we both sunk back on the bed on our backs.

I hadn't any experience about boys our relationship so I didn't have a clue what we should do about it.

'Do you still want to be with me?' I asked, the question had slipped out of my mouth. I asked it, not because I didn't want Remus to be my boyfriend, because I did but I got worried that Remus might want to have someone much more experienced.

He turned around and looked at me. 'Of course Becky, why on earth wouldn't I? Wait, do you want to end it?' He asked and I frantically shook my head.

'No, I was just…worried because..you probably would want someone more experienced' I said and, embarrassed looked down and looking like I was intrrested in the pattern of the cover.

'Becky? How much experience do you think I have had? I'm a werewolf' My stare changed from the pattern to his eyes and we drew closer until our hands weaved together and my head rested on his shoulder as my eyes closed.

* * *

I know this is a really short chapter so I'm sorry about that.

Anyway, thank all of you guys for the lovely reviews, it means a lot and also all the people alerting and favourising and also for reading this story;)


	24. Come Into My World

I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

It was the last days before the summer ended, it was highly noticeable, as all the teachers had given up on us doing any kind of work; everyone was longingly looking at the bright sun outside during the lessons.

Inside, I sat myself one of the uncomfortable chairs in the Defense Against The Dark Arts classroom. It was the last Defense Against Dark Arts lesson this term, and if Mr Clark hadn't found a magical way to break the charm, probably his last too.

Lily sat down next to me as she put her books on the table. 'Becky, when is your birthday again?' She asked, in a suspiciously tone that said she was up to something. '10th July, why?' I answered quickly.

'Oh nothing, just wondering' She said and smiled, oh yeah; she was defiantly up to something.

Mr Clark walked in the classroom, and walked to the front of the class. Usually he was the kind of teacher that smiled but there was something more serious look that he had today, and I was not the only person noticing it since I could hear everyone had stopped chatting and all of the attention went straight towards him.

"What I have been teaching you this year is to defend yourself against the dark arts, and I really hope that you have listened because out there is evil like you can't imagine and sooner or later, that is got to be dealt with and in order to do that you need to know how to defend yourself'

The lesson was the talked about we have had this year, as soon as the doors opened and the lesson was finished students started to speak of it loudly, and within one hour everyone in the school knew.

*

It was the last day, the suitcases were packed and the owls stood in their cages as everyone sat down in the Great Hall. It was a day that everyone anticipated for months but now when it was here it felt strange. This year have gone by so fast, some much had happened and so much had changed.

People were chatting about what they would do this summer and ate, the teachers chatted too until Dumbledore stood up from his chair and he took a glance around the big room. Everyone quite down as the looks went to him as he stood there in his calm self. It was time for the speech and also time for the house cup winners to be announced.

'Well, it has come to that time of year again when we have to say goodbye. For most of us we will meet again after the summer but, to those who will be leaving I wish you all good luck with everything" The seventh years nodded their head, it was weird to think that in just one year I would be sitting their nodding my head to Dumbledore's words.

'Well, I suppose you're all waiting to hear about the house cup, and throughout the year it has been surprisingly even in all of the houses but there can only be one winner and this year's winner is' He said and took a deep breath as he smiled 'Hufflepuff!' There was a loud roar from the Hufflepuff tables, but a even louder groan from all of the other houses as Dumbledore clapped his hand and the banners turned the colour of yellow and black.

'Hufflepuff? But they are all so…' James started trying to come up with the word that he was looking for.

'Lame?' Sirius finished and grinned. 'Aren't your girlfriend in that house Black?' Dorcas asked. 'She's special' he said and Dorcas rolled her eyes as she laughed 'Sure'

The breakfast was finished and there was just an hour before it was time to leave, as I walked out of the Hall Remus grabbed my arm. 'Could we go for a walk?' he asked and I gave him a confused look. 'Becky, I just want to talk to you before we leave' He said calmly as he took my hand 'oh'

We walked out passed the crowd to the courtyard and walked around the grounds. 'I'll miss you during the summer, it will be so boring' I said as we passed a big oak tree. 'I'll miss you too'

The sun was out, and the smell of flowers were in the air, and it hit me that my summer just started now, I needn't to be inside those crammed corridors or big classrooms anymore and as much as I liked that I already wished for the new year to start.

The nice thing with Remus was that you didn't need to say anything more than what was necessary, with other people they always wanted you to speak and say things which really didn't matter but right now all I could say was 'I miss you' because I didn't need to say anything more. Simple as that.

*

I looked out from the window where I was sitting in the compartment with Lily, Dorcas, Alice and Mary they were playing exploding snaps, I had said no since I always lose at those.

There was the cracking sound of the door to the compartment and I looked to see who it was, I eyed the greasy long black hair, black eyes, crooked nose and the to large dress robe – Snape. There was a silence hanging in the small compartment.

'Becky, can I speak with you?' He asked suddenly and I swore, my eyebrow together with Lily's reached the ceiling. 'Uhm, sure?' I said unconfident. What was this about? Snape didn't like me? In fact, Snape didn't like anyone except for Lily.

I got up, and started to walk out of the compartment, feeling very strange. I thought we were just going to stay outside the compartment but instead Snape walked to a more secluded area further away where he stopped and looked at me. 'Give this to Lily' He said and stretched out his hand which contained a white envelope. Was this really all?

I took it and held it tight in my hands as we stood looking at each other. 'Is this all?' I asked, starting to clamp the floor with my shoes. I didn't like to be alone with Snape. 'You know, you better be careful toying with people's feelings' He said in a dark voice. My mouth twitched, what did he mean with this? 'What does that mean?' I said, trying to sound confident but I realized just how much I failed as the words came out.

Snape gave out a sarcastic laugh; I couldn't resent him more than I did then. 'You are trying to get ride of the feelings you have for Remus, who sooner or later you need to face the fact that you don't like'

'You're right. I don't like Remus, I love him' I said and started to walk back. 'But only as a friend; by the way Becky I don't like your taste in guys' I fumed with anger, but I took a deep breath and kept myself in shack as I with loud steps walked back to the compartment.

He was lying, sure, I liked Sirius before but I would never be with Remus if I didn't want to, and how had he known all this about me? It wasn't like we were close friends or anything and we barely spoke to each other.

I walked into the compartment, slamming the door as I did and threw the envelope to Lily. There was silence hanging in the air as I sat down.

'What happened?' Lily asked as she sat down next to me. 'Nothing' I mumbled and she raised her eyebrow. 'So, the only reason why Snape took you outside was to make you give me the envelope?' She said in a voice that said that she didn't buy it but I stuck to my word until she gave up.

'Aren't you going to open it?' Dorcas asked Lily meaning the envelope but she shook her head. 'Later'.

They went back to playing cards and I went back to being mad at Snape. I watched how the environments change from the mountains to the big fields in the afternoon sun.

The noise from the door was heard opening again. Merlin, was there some kind of welcome sign over the compartment that I missed?

It was James and he was looking as he smiled towards Lily. 'Lily, my dearest' He said and she looked at him with big bored eyes. 'James, you better get out of here in 1 minute' She said and continued playing 'Of course I can, if we can go one a date' He said and smirked; her hair seemed to a lit.

'Potter, you ignorant, self obsessed, ego centered idiot haven't you embarrassed yourself enough already? I – won't – never – ever – go – on – a – date – with – you' She said and her cheeks turned the colour of her hair because of frustration but James just fixed his hair and smiled.

'Great, I pick you up seven' He said and walked out as Lily screamed 'I'M NOT GOING ON A DATE WITH YOU'

The rest of the trip happened with out anymore visits and but it felt like forever as the train finally arrived at the 9 ¾ platform. I got up, and put the book I had been reading back in my bag as I walked out of the compartment and was starting to walk out of the train as Lily, Alice, Mary and Dorcas ran after me.

'Did you really think you could leave without giving us a hug?' Alice grinned and nudged my shoulders 'Apparently' I said as I hugged all of them. 'Well I see you all next term' as I started to walk on to the platform, and they gave a quick look at each other with smiles as they waved.

As per usual the platform had the smell of sweat and burned coal, it was disgusting. I put my luggage on a trolley that I found near the train as I started to look after my parents.

I steered the trolley around the platform, as I almost collided with a family of four I stopped the trolley and sat down on the luggage. I gave up, my cheeks were flustered, my clothes stuck to my body with sweat and I could feel the sweat dripping from my forehead. Definitely not my sexiest look. Not that I ever cared about being sexy.

'Becky?' I immediately reconigsed the voice. 'Hi Sirius' He sat down next to me. 'Trying to find your parents?' He guessed and I nodded my head. 'And you?' I asked 'Trying to hide from my parents' he said nonchalant. It almost made me laugh of how absurd it was, me sitting here with Sirius on the platform and he speaking about his family.

'And oh looks like they found me' He said in a saddened voice as a tall figure of a woman who had black long hair, unhealthy thin body, dark eyes and a pout on her lips, she may not be so beautiful now but I had the feeling she had all the boys after her when she was young. Next to her was a plump man with gray eyes and a silk scarf wrapped around him. They must be his parents I thought as they neared us.

I was right, soon she grabbed Sirius arm in a hard grip, forcing him to get up. 'Sirius, please, no scenes today' She said and gave him a hard look; he looked at her, quiet. That was the first time I ever seen Sirius avoid an argument. 'Why can't you be more like your brother?" His father asked and I was sure I could hear the sound of Sirius teeth grizzle.

To my horror, I saw my mum and that also coming towards me, waving. The worst was that my dad was wearing his favorite, and also the ugliest shoes he had. They were bright red jazz shoes that made me want to sink through the ground.

They both ran towards me and they started to kiss my cheeks, with my hands I tried to get their faces away. 'Please' I pleaded and the immediately stood up and said 'Of course'

Suddenly they saw the Black's family who were looking at us and they took their hands out, as did Sirius mother and father.

'We're Becky's parents, and you're?' They asked and they looked at each other as to evaluate if my parents were good enough.

'I'm Walburga' Said Sirius mother briskly 'Orion' Said his father which put a big smile on his face. 'So tell me, Orion do you see a lot of stars for your son's future' I buried my hands in my face, I could hear Sirius laughing.

'Well, we need to go how…lovely to meet you' Walburga said, sounding like she spoke through her nostrils as they walked away.

'They seem nice, don't they?' My father said and I sighed of frustration. Hogwarts had never seemed further away.

* * *

First of all, THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS, and without you guys nice words I would never come this far with the story so thank you. I never thought I ever pass the 100. And thanks all of you for alerting and favoursing and reading the story it means a lot.D

I know this chapter is really boring but I promise, next one is a lot more fun and I'm looking forward to it so much. I have had the scene in my head for so long. I will prob update in just like 2-3 days ( I know, gasp of suprise )

Btw, does anyone know how to upload an document here from a Mac computer but in a Word Document becuase I always need to copy and send it via mail and open it on another computer and save it on a word file there.


	25. The Noble House Of Black

I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

My eyes slowly opened, the first I took in was the smell of candles burning, then as I looked up from where I was laying in my bed I saw mum, dad, Alva with my mother holding a platter with a strawberry cake which had, without counting I knew it; 17 candles.

They had started to sing Happy Birthday, not a note in its right place as usual but I wouldn't have it any other way.

'Sis, soon we can be out clubbing together' Alva said excitedly as the rest shot her disapproving looks, not that I had any thing against that; clubbing was hardly my thing, especially not with Alva.

Like magic, her British accent was back, it wouldn't surprise me if she had used the French accent mainly to flirt with guys.

'Anyway, blow out the candles and starts wrapping up those gifts' my mother said and place the platter in front of me. After three attempts, all the candles were finally blacked out and the presents were left pilled up.

I started with a present that was from Lily, which was a necklace with a sign with a circle with a straight line in the middle with two other lines a bit that was placed on each side and connected together in the middle on it, which she wrote she had gotten in a muggle store.

From my parents I got a brand new silver watch and Anna and Alexander got me a brown bag, after all these years of my grandmother's pink frilly dresses she had finally come to her senses and gave me money instead. Alva had come with a rectangular package that contained a pair of brand new high heels.

The only present left was a small white package; I looked at the card;

Happy Birthday Becky

Love,

Remus

I tore the paper apart, and opened the box that now was in my hands. It was flower pendant to put on the charm bracelet that he had gotten me for Christmas.

'Now let's have some of that delicious cake' My father said and I threw the cover away and got my feet of the floor as we all walked to the kitchen and sat around the table as we ate the cake, that was quickly only crumbs left of it

During the day relatives had come to congratulate me, and by seven'o'clock I was tired of each time answering the question "So how does it feel to be seventeen?" Actually it felt just like being sixteen, that was the thing with birthdays – even though, on paper you are a year older it certainly doesn't feel that way.

Everyone had left except from Alva's muggle boyfriend, whose name was Nick. To my surprise, he didn't have the look a la model which all of Alva's boyfriend usually have, I took this as a good sign. He had curly black hair, blue eyes and wore rimmed glasses, my dad was sitting and interrogated him while Alva, tried to make him stop.

'What do you want to work with?' My dad asked him, and Nick was starting to sweat.

'I'm studying to become a doctor sir'  
'A doctor, ey? Is that the work where you drug everyone and kill people?' My dad said and my sister hit him hard in the ribs.

'Dad, doctors save life, they have high reputation and they earn a lot not to mention that they study their asses off' She said and my dad blinked.

'Of course…I knew that' He said and Alva gave him a hard stare as she grabbed his arm. 'We will be back in a jiff' She said and dragged my father out from the living room the entrance.

It was only Nick and me left sitting in the room and I couldn't help to feel a bit awkward.

'My dad isn't usually like this' I said quietly.

'Really?' Nick asked hopefully.

'Embarrassing, childish and overprotective; yes but mean, no. He'll grow tired of it eventually and accept you' I said, and he smiled and said 'Thank you' as Alva came in with determined steps as she sat down and my dad to.

'Becky?' It was my mother's voice coming from the kitchen. 'Yes' I replied. 'One of your friends is here' She said and I twitched my eyebrows in surprised. Who was it? I got up from the chair I sat in and walked out of the living room to the entrance where I walked up the hall to the kitchen. My mother was standing doing the dishes by hand, since Nick was here we had to pretend that we were muggles, which I don't think he believed all of the time.

My eyes went to the small kitchen table and there I saw Lily's dark red hair as her face lit up in a smile and she walked up and hugged me. 'Happy Birthday' she said and I got out a 'Thank' in my shock.

'I thought that Alice, Dorcas, Mary, you and I would go out tonight celebrating. I asked your mother and she said yes, so what do you say?' Lily said, almost jumping of enthusiasm as I shot a mean look at my mother.

'I'm sorry…I don't have anything to wear' I said looking down at the floor, I was honest I had nothing to wear. 'I thought you say that that's why I brought this' Lily said and pointed at a bag with clothes. I tried desperate to come up with another excuse.

'Please, if not for you then do it for Mary she needs to have a bit of fun considering what has happened' She said and with those almond shaped green eyes looked straight into mine. I realized she was right, 'fine' I muttered and she shrieked of joy. 'Yes! Now let's get ready, where's your room?'

After 1 hour we were finally ready to go. At first I had wanted to wear a white simple blouse and black pants but Lily had shock her had and took out white sleeveless tunic that sat tight around the bodice but then flared out together with a red frilly skirt paired up with the silver high heels that Alva had given me.

'Let's go and get the others' Lily said when we were finished, she had on a lime green double breasted tie waist dress that stopped over her knees and she had on black pumps.

I took her hand as we appareated, it was the common unpleasant feeling and I felt like I wanted to puke as the environment changed quickly. With a boom! I hit the cold pavement in a dark alley. I got up and cleaned up the dirt on my clothes, as did Lily.

'Come! They are waiting outside the club' Lily said and started to walk up the alley, and I tried walk in her speed, which was very hard since she was speed walking. We got out of the alley to Covent Garden I could read by the signs, which as this time of the day was packed with people, many of them already under the influence of alcohol.

I followed Lily past the crowd until we arrived at a club, with the letters 'The Caribbean' shined in purple. In the line to the club I could se Alice, Dorcas and Mary standing waving towards us from where they stood and we walked towards them. a

Alice was wearing a sleeveless top with fringes with blue jeans and high heels, Dorcas wore a checked skirt with a black shirt and Mary wore a flowery bandeau dress.

Lily and I got behind them in the cue. 'Do you really think we are going to get in?' Dorcas asked and Lily nodded confidently as we got closer to the door.

I was terrified of going inside that small building which would contain loud music, smoke, sweat and probably, drugs everything I hated but I also thought that Mary should have some fun.

We all gathered into a group as we were next in line to the door, as the guard let two people in and now looked at us.

'Identification please' He said in a crossed voice. Lily took a couple steps in front of us. 'You know we don't need ID. We are all over eighteen' Lily lied, but he shook his head. 'No identification, no entry' He said and started to interrogate the people behind us. 'Fine' muttered Alice as we got off the line to the street and watched the black taxi's on the street drive by.

'What should we do?' Mary asked as we stood there. 'Actually, my place isn't so far away' Dorcas said and I thought that idea sounded a lot better than going to clubs. Everyone else seemed to realize that there was no idea to try to get into more clubs.

After a short walk on the streets of city London we got to an large brick apartment building where Dorcas pressed in the code '9263' and the doors opened as we walked into a hallway of doors on the side as far as the eyes could see, it had been done by magic so of what I could make out it was only wizards and witches living in the apartment.

Dorcas led us up the corridor until we came to number 56 where she took a grip on the door and opened the door slowly. The entrence was airy with a white floor carpet and a chandelir. It was an odd silence hanging in the room as I did as the others and took off the coat I was wearing and hanged it on a hanger.

Dorcas started to walk to a big door that she opened to reveal a big room.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY" I jumped of surprise as Sirius, James and Frank appeared out from the room, James with a carrot cake with, seventeen Iand gave out a high pitched scream that made them laugh. James put the carrot cake out with his hands for me to blow them out, which I did after four tries.

I looked back at Lily. 'So this was the plan the whole time?' I asked and she nodded with a big smile on her face.

'Did you really think I would let you spend your birthday being miserable in a club that you hate? I knew you prefer something more like calm' she answered and I couldn't say how thankful I was that the plan had never been to go to the club. 'Thank you' I murmured as I looked around the room, that's when I realized that Remus wasn't there.

'Where is Remus?' I asked, surprised that I hadn't noticed his absence earlier. 'He's in Spain with his family' James said and I nodded.

'Now, let's eat'

The rest of the night was spent with playing games and I really appreciated that they had thought of me and hadn't thrown a wild party.

*

It was the hottest day of the summer, the gray shorts and white linen top was sticking to the body like glue, luckily as it was later on the day the heat had turned into something more like a tropical climate. I was sitting on the porch reading, my parents had been invited to a dinner and Alva was meeting her boyfriend; resulting in me having the big house for myself in all my boredom.

I sighed as I turned another page in the worn out book, I tried to read the words that was written but I couldn't concentrate and it just looked like a jungle of words. Deciding I should do something else I closed the book and stood up, the gray shorts this is when I suddenly heard a 'crack' sound behind me and I turned around.

To my surprise it wasn't Alva, neither was it my parents but it was Sirius, his clothes was rugged and he looked frustrated and relieved.

'I've moved out my parents' house' He said and there was certainly something bittersweet in his voice. 'That's great' I started but then I realized the problem with this 'where are you going to live?' I asked, 'The Potter's, I was wondering if you could help me pack' He asked, immediately I started to think about Regulus. 'Nobody is home' Sirius said quickly and I nodded my head.

'Sure, I can help' I said, in a way I was kind of relieved I wouldn't be spending the evening doing nothing. 'Thank you Becks' Sirius said and put my feet in the black sandals that had lied next to me. 'Have you done something with your hair?' He asked as I was putting them on.

'No' I answered confused and my finger wrapped around a straw of the long wavy brown. 'Really? You look different' He said and I twitched my shoulders.

'Ready?' He asked and I nodded as he grabbed my hand and this time I was more used to appareated so it didn't feel as uncomfortable until I landed on the hard wooden floor in the Black's house.

'Every time' I muttered as I got up next to Sirius.

'Welcome to the noble house of Black' He said with a disgust in his voice. I looked around, the first thing that hit me was the cold and creepy feeling that entrance gave, and I had a feeling every room would be like this.

It was an old house and gloomy and had high ceilings. The long hallway where I was standing was lit with gas lamps and a large overhead chandelier. The walls had loads of portraits of people, which I presumed was relatives to Sirius or people that his parents aspired to be like.

Sirius started to walk to up the hallway and I followed him, taking in everything around. I couldn't understand how someone could want to live here, it was so dark in here but I couldn't decide if it was because all of the dark objects, walls and floor or because of the feeling that they gave of evil.

We came to the end of the entrance hall where a great staircase was. I was almost afraid to touch the * in case there was some dark magic on it. I let out a low pitched scream as I saw the shrunken heads of house elves mounted on the wall on plaques.

It didn't get better as we continued to walk up the staircase where I saw glims of some of the rooms that were as dark as the entrance hall. We walked up to the topmost landing where there was two doors, one of them had a sign "Do Not Enter Without the Express Permission of Regulus Arcturus Black" it gave me the chills just seeing the name.

Sirius walked to the direction of the other one and opened the door. I walked in and I was in shock of how beautiful the room was with carved wooden headboards on the bed, velvet curtains and the furniture were in the same era.

Gryffindor's red and gold colours lit up the room together with some banners. There were posters of a motorbike and, naked and half naked muggle girls posing in a seductive pose that made me feel uncomfortable and I blushed.

'I'm just going to pack things I need, just sit down on the bed or something' Sirius said as he went to his wardrobe and took out a trunk. 'You need any help?' I asked. 'Could you take the books we will need for next year? The books are on the shelf' Sirius said as he was busy taking things out from his wardrobe.

I walked to the shelves, which was next to the desk and I eyes through the titles of the book. Some where from first year, those I ignored at once since the O.W.L's had been 1-5 year, I guessed that the N.E.W.T.S would be 6-7 based but it was probably good to have some basic knowledge for the exam too.

I carried the books I had picked out to the trunk and put them in there as I sat down on the bed. There was a photo off Sirius from when he was very young, I couldn't help but to smile ate it. He had the biggest smile and his gray eyes glittered as he was waving with his wand making a model airplane spin around in the room.

Sirius sat down next to me, after putting in some more clothes in the trunk. 'I can't believe I'm finally moving out' Sirius said sounding nostalgic. 'Where are you going to stay?' I had suddenly realized that I hadn't asked the most obvious of all questions.

'James' I stared at the door. 'Why now though?' I asked and looked at Sirius. 'I don't know. Just felt like the right thing to do. It was one of those common arguments in this house about me destroying the reputation of our family and I decided I had enough. You know, I would do anything to have parents like yours'

I raised my eyebrow 'You have met my dad? The red jazz shoe, bad dancer and the most embarrassing person to walk on this planet?' Sirius laughed. 'Actually, his jokes are quite funny'

'Have you gathered up with my dad? Or has be bribed you in anyway because that's got to be the only explanation' I asked jokingly. Sirius grinned back 'Maybe' there was a silence and we both stared at each other.

The door opened as my pulse started to beat faster. At first I couldn't see what it was but as I looked down I saw that it was a house elf with big tennisball eyes and worn down clothes.

'What do you want Kreacher?' Sirius spit out and the House elf started to walk closer to the bed. 'Mistress says that Sirius left the house. Kreacher is ordered to throw you out if you came back' Sirius seemed to boil with anger but he calmed down. 'Fine, we will go' He said slowly and got up from the bed, so did I. He walked to the trunk and took it in his hands.

He walked to me with hurried and took my hand. I was confused about everything that was happening as my stomach felt like it had been turned inside and out again as I apparated again without any idea of where I was heading.

As soon as we stopped I recognized the white house that was my families and we stood on the sand road leading up to the house. 'I'm sorry about Kreacher. He isn't very…sane'

'Guess that working for no money can do that' I said and gave a weak smile which Sirius returned 'You are way to kind on him' he said and I shrugged my shoulders.

'Well, I need to go to James but thank you Becky for helping me with everything' He said to my surprise he embraced me. 'N..o..no, problem' I stammered as he appareated away.

* * *

This chapter is dedicated to Mike, one of my dad's childhood friends who was two years ago was diagnosed with cancer and he survived the battle. Sadly they just found out last weekened that the cancer is back and he is right now undergoing chemo.

I'm so sorry everyone, I knew I said 2-3 days but I got busy and I started my new school so I have just spent a lot of time adjusting. I'm completley exhausted when I come home at 18;15.

Well, the scene I was telling you about in the last chapter was this one with Becky and Sirius in his house. Kinda of sucks because I had imagined it totally different but eh. Next Chapter will be very important.

Thanks everyoen for reviewing, favoursing, alerting and reading this story; it means a lot.

I thinkkkk next chap will be up next weekened but I'm not 100% sure.


	26. Last Year, Let's Make It The Best

I'm so sorry it took forever to update.

I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

Once again I was back sitting in the Hogwarts Express gazing out on the fogged glass to my parents, standing on the 9 ¾ waving good bye as the train slowly started to move out from the Kings Cross station. I couldn't help but to feel a bit nostalgic, all those times I had been in the same position – sitting in the train as I waved to my parents and the train that went to Hogwarts and another year at Hogwarts but this would be the last and as much as I had longed for it I felt scared when it was so near.

Remus hand touched mine, and I turned to look at him. Our gazes meet, and I realized that this would be also a year to make the most of things. 'Hey, get a room!' It was the taunting voice of James. Remus gav a grin, muttering 'Shut up'. There was smell of James mother´s homemade chocolate chip cookies hanging in the air of the compartment.

Sirius, who had been sitting, stood up from the seat beside James and cleared his throat several times with the sound 'Ahem, Ahem' making everyone steer their glance towards him. He quickly brushed off some crumbles on his jeans. 'As you all know, this is our last year' said Sirius in what seemed to be an overdone serious tone. 'All pranks, every party and all the epic mischief we have done have all been leading up to this point' Peter was clapping his hands so hard I wondered if they wouldn't start to bleed soon. 'C'mon. This is our LAST year so let's make it the best one because everything we do this year will be the last. Last time we will go the Hogwarts Express to start our term at Hogwarts, our last feast and also the last chance we have to see James make a fool of himself in front of Lily' he said now, in a much more exciting and glad tone. There was a short moment of silence before everyone started to clap their hands, and Sirius bowed as he sat down back on his seat.

'What do you mean I make a fool of myself in front of Lily?' Asked James confused. 'Isn't pretty self explanatory mate?' Answered Sirius with a grin. 'Ah really, well I am sorry because here I thought I was sitting with the heartbreaker of the school, a guy that had never had a girlfriend and another one that it took three years for him to actually admit that he liked one' said James in what was now a triumphant voice. I was frozen for a couple of seconds – had Remus really liked me for three years? It had come as a shock to me; I had probably been too busy crushing over Sirius to notice anyone else. Peter looked embarrassed, Remus a bit tense and Sirius let out a loud 'HEY!' 'I'm not the heartbreaker anymore, yo. I'm with Marlene now' Said Sirius and James raised his eyebrows.

'Marlene, still?' asked James. 'Yes, I really like her, actually' said Sirius defensive. James gave him a fast slap on the arm. 'Why didn't you tell me it was serious between you two?' he asked and now it was Sirius turn to hit James on the arm. 'I have been trying to tell you that the whole summer!' shrieked Sirius and James let out a quiet 'Oh…'

For the first time, I didn't want the train to arrive at Hogsmeade station. I just wanted to enjoy the moment in the train but the time passed by way to quickly and I knew that soon it would be time to change into the school robes. Sirius was sitting, taking to Peter and James and it was obvious by his body language and voice that he was excited as he was describing the prank he had come up with. 'At first I was thinking that we should have a little chat with the first years…if you know what I mean' Sirius said with a sparkle in his eyes. From previous experience I knew that this meant telling the first years stories about creatues that would thrived on first years which they would kidnap from the dormitories.

At this point Lily walked in, already in her uniform and her dark red hair put into a messy ponytail. Her eyes gazed through the compartment. 'Hi Becky' she said in a sweet voice and I said 'hello' back. She walked in with frustrated steps as she put her hands on her lips. 'Does anyone of you happen to know who the head boy is this year? He should have been in the compartment quite a while ago' She said in an annoyed voice. Me, Remus, Peter and Sirius shook our heads but James face in to what could be describe as a horror. 'Oh shit, I totally forgot' he said and everyone's look tuned to him, especially Lily who was sending him deathly glares. 'And what is that suppose to mean Potter?' She asked in a voice that was supposed to be calm but was at breaking point.

Now James gave out a grin. 'I'm the head boy!' Lily gave out a 'puff' sound and rolled her eyes. She went towards him, pointing at him with her finger 'You better tell me who it is or…' She threatened him and he's grin got broader. 'No, it's me' he answered, putting his arm relaxed over Sirius. Lily's hair seemed to fire up. 'James, seriously' She begged but this time he didn't say anything back, something that was very unlike him and Lily seemed to grasp this moment of seriousness.

It seemed unrealistic that Dumbledore would pick out two students from Gryffindor, however James had been spending a lot of time with Dumbledore last year and Lily was a given for Head Girl. 'YOU? I'm going to talk to a teacher' Lily said furious and rushed out the compartment where Sirius had started to laugh. 'Good one mate' He said but James shook his head. 'No, I was being honest' he said as he had started to eat a cookie. Sirius expression changed quickly from laughing to stiff. 'But..but…' he stammered. 'You are a marauder, you aren't supposed to be a Head Boy' he said angrily. 'You still are going to prank with us? Right, James?' asked Peter desperate.

'Well…I kind of want to take this head thing quite serious. I mean, I might even have a shoot with Lily' said James, with the cookies crumbles in his mouth. 'You always think you have a shot with Lily' Remus informed James and he shrouded his shoulders. 'This is the year, I can feel it' James said with a smile and Remus rolled his eyes with a smile on his face 'You always think that' He said and everyone laughed, there was still a tension between Sirius and James but it was soon forgotten.

I didn't want the train to arrive at Hogsmeade station. I just wanted to stay in the moment in the train a little bit longer. It was the last year, which meant that life as I know it would end it and, how much I had been preparing for it, I still couldn't get over it. 'You look sad Becky' Sirius said as he took down his luggage, I twitched of surprise. 'No…just nostalgia I guess' I said and stood up, brushing up the crumbles from the school robe I was now in. Remus had taken down my luggage for me and I clutched it as we walked out from the compartment.

Sirius and James started to shove each other and hit each other on the arm, I knew that they were just playing around like they always do and a big smile appeared on my face. As they turned around they looked at me. 'What is so funny?' They asked, and this time I smiled even more. 'Just nice to be back'

Everyone gathered at the platform, where I saw Alice, Dorcas and Mary standing around the first years that were awkwardly moving around trying to find where to go. Had I really been that small when I was first year?

The tall figure that towered everyone else was of course Hagrid's. Dorcas was talking about some guy she had met during the summer. I stood, looking for Remus as my eyes stopped on Sirius and Marlene whom were busy in a make up session, make me blush and feel embarrassed ad I looked away. Arms wrapped around my waist, I jumped of surprise as I faced to see Remus smiling, and 'I'm just trying to embrace you, not kill you' He whispered calmly and my shoulders and I relaxed. 'I just…don't like to be surprised, that's all'

The rain had just started to pour as I got off the carriage with the others and ran inside to the castle, where the grand entrance was crowded with people and ghost that were flowing loudly complaining about how peaceful it had been during the summer. I could see Lily running towards McGonagall, who looked deeply distressed…and older, her face had many more wrinkles but her eyes seemed empty. 'Professor, you see Potter has been claiming to be the Head Boy but that's so obviously a prank…right?' she asked in a tone that was nervous and at breaking point. McGonagall shook her head, 'Lily, I can't deal with your and James issues right now' she said as she directing the first years were to go. 'Buut' Lily groaned, but with no reply from Professor McGonagall.

'The dark times are coming near

The wrath of evil is near

I advise you to think through

What side you really are on.

But remember this, in Slytherins

Brave ones can still be found.

In Rawenclaw people can be

Sly as snakes. Hufflepuff can

Sometimes also be sly and oh don't

You forget that sometimes Gryffindor,

Whose bravery is often mistaken?

For stupidity choices can be actually smart.

What I am trying to say,and to warn

Everyone is that light can still

Contain dark and when

It time too fights don't

Limit yourself to your

Peers or ability, learn how to

Listen to your heart.

Godric Gryffindor might have been brave,

Helga Hufflepuff honest and loyal

Rowena Rawenclaw very smart

And of course, Salazar Slytherin sly

All were different but remember this

They all shared the same ambition

To create the greatest magical school

In Britain, and that is why I was

Created. But remember, is not

The house colors that you wear that

Makes you who you are'

It was the sorting hat's song that had created an awkward silence in the air. It had spoke of dark times coming and warned us for intruders around us. Dumbledore clapped his hands, insinuating for McGongall to start the sorting and the first person on the list, Ewan Arden a short black haired guy slowly with nervous steps walked to the chair where the sorting hat was placed.

My stomach groaned with every name called out, I couldn't wait for the food as I was almost laying on the ground because of hunger. Finally the last person, Hannah Winter was placed in Rawenclaw and Dumbledore rose of from his chair from the teacher's table. He looked calmed as he looked around the room with his ice blue eyes and silvery long hair. 'Welcome everyone, I do understand that everyone is hungry so I will make this as rapid as possible' he said calmly.

'It was under very sad circumstances that I had to appoint a new Defence Against Dark Art Teacher, but I think I just might have found the perfect candidate to replace Professor Clark. Give an round of applause to Professor Rose'. It was a tall young woman with vibrant red curly hair that stood up and gave a smile as she sat down in her seat again.

'What happened to Mr Clark?' asked Peter quiet around the Gryffindor room. 'Didn't you hear?' said a tall boy from Sixth grade who a recognized that I had seen around the hallways and in the common room. Peter shook his head. 'He was found dead in his house. He had been trying to recruit people to fight against …well you guys know' he replied in a low tone and once again there was a silence around the table. Mine and Sirius' eyes meet, we were both thinking the same thing – no wonder Professor McGonagall was looking so grim.

* * *

It's 1 am here, so I might redo this chap a bit later one when I read it and realise how bad it is. I just felt like I needed you guys to now I'm not quitting the story or anything. I have just been really busy with school, friends and all that jazz. I had actually written the first part of this chap a long time ago but my computer doesn't like me so it decided to plot against me as always so I had ro rewrite eveything.

I promise next update will be a lot faster. =)))

Thanks for reviewing, alerting, favourising and reading the story; it means a lot! =)


	27. The Day We Fell Apart

I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

The routines of the school day had started and I stood outside the Defense Against Dark Arts sitting on the benches outside with Orcas. We would have the Defense Against Dark Arts together with the Slytherin's this year; something that didn't exactly excited everyone of the students. 'Of course, of all the houses they put us with the sucky'dins' groaned James, and the Slytherins that heard gave him a hard glare.

'What, did you really think we were on good terms?' he spitted and the Slytherins went back to talking.

'What do you think the teacher is like?' Dorcas asked as she put her bag in her lap. 'She seems nice' I got out.

'What I heard she is really good, she's strict but not the McGongall type and apparently she knows her things' Lily said. Straight after the door opened, and there stood Professor Rose. She looked around, surprised. 'Oh wow, come in' She said and opened the door and people started going into the big classroom.

I sat down next to Remus, putting my books on the desk. 'Great, everyone settled. I have a question for everyone; how many here can make a full body patronus?' She asked as she looked around the room. Only two people raise their hands, Lily and James. She smiled as her eyes met theirs.

'Let me guess, you are Lily Evans' she said as she looked at Lily, who nodded in answer. Then she went over to James 'You must be the infamous James Potter' and James, who had been busy jerking around with Sirius stopped. 'That's me all right'. 'Would you two care to show the rest of the classmates your patrounses?' They both nodded, James much eagerly so.

Even the Slytherins where in awe after the lesson, first we had been seen James and Lily's patronouses', Lily's was a doe and James a stag and liked to point out every second minute the similarities between a stag and a doe. Then everyone in the class had got to practice it and, some people had been successful in making a full body patronus.

Mine wasn't complete yet but from what I could make out of the white cloudy air it looked like a cat. I walked to the crowd through the door where as I got out in the hallway, everyone was talking loudly about the lesson.

It was just very hard to believe in two years in a row, the Defense Against Dark Arts teachers had been capable of actually teaching the subject, unlike the other years.

*

It was after dinner and I was sitting in the dormitory together with Lily and Alice. Outside it was starting to get dark, some candles were lit and it smelt of rose in the room. 'You know what we should do?' Lily said with an excited voice. I looked up from the book I was reading, laying on the cover of my bed.

'No, what?'Alice asked and Lily gave a big smile as she got up from her bed and started to dig in her bag until she had a quills and papers in her hands which she gave to me and Alice. 'Okay, so write three things you think will happen at the end of the year and we will read them on our last day' Lily said, and I nodded. It sounded like a good idea. I took the quill between my fingers – it was a lot harder then I thought. The first one was obvious though.

_1. James will have convinced Lily to go on a date._

The next one was a lot trickier to come up with, and I had the quill nervously flouting over the paper for a while.

2. _At one point, the Slytherins will try and take over the school_

3. _I will have stopped freaking out over every test_

'Okay, I am finished' I said as I folded the paper into a small little square that I gave to Lily. 'Great, now we will put them in this box and save them' She said and took out a wooden box. I opened it and put the predictions there.

I realized that we had Charms homework for tomorrow and I needed to finish that. I walked back to the bed and frantically started to search in my bag. It's got to be somewhere, right? I gave out a loud sigh of frustration when I realized I had forgotten it in the library. I looked at my watch – curfew hadn't started yet, I would have time to run down and fetch it.

'I'm just going to the library to fetch a book' I said stressed as I put on a sweater and started to walk down the stairs. The common room was filled people, and I had to push myself out of the crowd. I took a relieved breath as I stood in front of the Fat Lady painting, as the painting started to open.

I got out from the common room and started to walk down the stairs, my steps weren't as hasty as before and I had calmed down. I walked down to the fourth floor, it was weird to see the school so empty. Usually there was always a bunch of people running up and down to the lessons.

As I walked in the hallway I saw Nearly Headless Nick floating around, it was not many people in the library I saw as I walked in. I had been studying sitting at the table so that's probably where the book was.

The library at this time, just before closing time was only visited by the people who actually studied or people making out in secret. I walked to the table, I saw the book lying on the ground and I bent down to get a hold of the book. As I leant down to grab it my gaze went to the other corner of the room.

It was Sirius, it was quite uncommon to see him alone…and in the library, something was wrong. He was sitting on the window seat. I clenched the book with my hands and I got up.

His gaze caught mine, and he smiled 'Hi Becks'

'Hi' I said back and I walked to where Sirius was sitting.

'Is…anything wrong?' I asked hesitant.

'I just don't get you girls' He said and I sat down next to him.

'Neither do I' I said as I looked out through the window. It was getting dark now. I got feel Sirius eyes staring at me, and I looked away so that he wouldn't see I was blushing.

Without noticing, our hands touched each other, as I noticed this I know I should have moved it away but instead I let it rest.

I looked into Sirius eyes, and I hated myself in that moment. I hated me for the fact that I realized I still had feelings for him even though I was with Remus. He still made my stomach in a knot and his smile made me melt. I quickly moved the hand away.

'We better go, library closes soon' I said sharply.

*

The thing that I loved about Hogwarts the most was how big and vast it was, it was so easy to just disappear and walk alone for an hour in all peace. It was nice to get some peace.

I was walking outside, busy in my thoughts I didn't think exactly of where I was going. It was in the afternoon, the last classes had just ended.

'ello Becky' It was the ever so familiar voice of Hagrid. I had walked to his hut without realizing it.'Hey Hagrid, how are you?' I asked and he gave a big smile. 'I'm good. Did yu want to step inside?' he asked. 'Yes, sure' I said, it had been a long time since I had bee here.

I walked in; it looked exactly the same as before with the big sofa, table and chairs. I sat down one on of the chairs, almost falling off as I tried to get on it. Hagrid had gone and started to make tea.

'Did you want 'ome cake with dat?' Hagrid asked, I immediately thought about the last time I had been offered food by Hagrid. 'I am actually good but thank you anyway Hagrid' I said, feeling a bit guilty as I did.

'Its fine' said Hagrid and brought two cups of tea. 'So, what's new?' he asked as I started to sip on my cup. 'There is of course the new Defence against Dark Arts teacher…but it's pretty much the same old thing'

I stayed at Hagrid's for a lot longer than I had expected and I realized that dinner had just started. 'Bye Hagrid' I said as I opened the door and walked out. It had gotten really cold and I wished I had my Gryffindor scarf with me to warm me up.

Shivering I walked back to the castle, I actually wasn't very hungry when I thought about it. I at least needed to get back to the common room in order to put my bag there, it was heavy and I didn't want to carry it around.

I walked up the stairs until I got to the painting of the Fat Lady. 'Puddlemore United' I said. I had expected the common room to be empty but as I stepped inside I saw that Sirius was sitting on the couch staring into the fireplace.

I couldn't help but to think how odd it was to see him by himself again. 'Hi Sirius, why aren't eating?' I asked ad he looked at me.

'I could ask you the same thing' he said and gave a bit of smirk. I couldn't help but to smile back. 'I'm just not hungry' I answered.

'Same here' he said and I rolled my eyes. I sat down next to him on the couch. I closed my eyes, it had been a really tiring week and I was positive I could fall asleep on this couch.

I fought with myself to not do so, but after a while I closed my eyes and I drifted on to sleep.

My eyelids open, at first I saw the fireplace in front of me. Then I realized my head was leaning on something soft, smelling like honey. My cheeks heated up, I quickly moved my head away from Sirius shoulders. I saw a pair of green eyes gazing back at me, Lily and James was standing next to her.

'You two should talk with Remus, he saw you two sleeping here…and well' Lily started nervously. 'Well let's just say he saves those kinds of emotions for that time of the month'

Oh, Merlin.

'I am going to go and find him' Sirius said.

'No, Sirius please let me' I said and he nodded.

'Do you know where he went?' I asked and they shook their heads.

Great, I have a whole castle to search. I thought for a moment, maybe he would be in the library? No too obvious.

Owlery? Too smelly.

He would be in a classroom, the Defence Against Dark Arts since that was his favorite subject. With quick steps I walked out of the common room and ran down the stairs, getting a few looks from the other students.

I finally arrived at the first floor, where I found the way to the classroom.

'Alohomora' I said and waved my wand to the door that opened. I walked in, and very right it was lit. I saw Remus heartlessly trying to do magic in the corner. He glazed at me, with slower steps I walked towards him.

'Remus, nothing has happened between me and Sirius' I tried to say as relaxed as possible. He looked at me. 'Becky, it's not that you two happened to fall asleep on the couch. It just made everything so obvious…the way you look at him and the way you act around him. Don't try and deny you have feelings for him'

*

* * *

Sorry for the time it has taken for me to update. I know this is a bit short, but I will update at latest this weekend.

Thanks for all the reviews, favourising, alerting and for reading my story:D

Have an awesome Halloween:D


	28. Silence

I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

The words echoced in the room, "don't try and deny you have feelings for him".

Remus words came out strong and he took a deep breath out. For me, it felt like I couldn't breathe anymore. I was too scared to look him in the eyes; I didn't want to see the resentment and anger in them, or worse – sadness.

'Remus, I'm sorry' my voice was at breaking point, it felt like something was stuck in my throat like a great lump. I didn't know what more to say, or what to do. I wanted to say how much I wanted it to be Remus that I had these feelings towards instead of Sirius, but that wouldn't help and they needn't to be said.

I caught his glaze; it was full of anger and made me flinch back a couple of steps of where I was standing.

'You are not even going dry and deny it?' He asked coldly. I started at him, not saying a word as I shook my head. My eyes were starting to water up; I didn't even know what to feel anymore - anger, compassion…relief?

'You know what gets me most about this Becky?' He said in the same cold voice and I just wanted apparate out of here and turn back the time, change everything.

'I thought you weren't like all of the other girls, that you were different from them. But you know what? You are exactly like the rest of them, thinking that you will be the one to change Sirius'

I could feel tears running down my cheeks; I didn't even bother to wipe them off. I was not like that, not at all I thought for myself.

'What you don't see, is that Sirius will never change. He never even noticed you until you started to hang out with me more' he continued. I took a deep breath in, trying to control the anger that was boiling up inside me. I had never wanted to smack Remus as much as I wanted to do it now.

'Remus John Lupin, you are an idiot' I said as controlled as I could, but it came out snappy and brisk but I didn't care.

I knew I had acted wrong, but that didn't give Remus right to treat me like this.

I just needed to get out from here; I needed some air in order to process everything. I stormed out from the Defence Against Dark Arts classroom, giving the door as big smack as I closed it.

Every step I took as I walked of the stairs, I saw Remus face as his words repeated in my head. "You are exactly like the rest of them".

I was NOT like the rest of them. The tears that had stopped had started to run down my cheek again. Annoyed I wiped them off with my sleeve as I got to the portrait. I murmured the password and stepped in to the crowded common room.

My plan was to avoid everyone and go to the dormitory but to my displeasure I saw James, Sirius, Lily, Mary and Dorcas sitting in the couches as they had been looking alerting towards the portrait, as they were waiting for someone to come in which if I knew them right, was exactly the sort of thing that they were doing right now.

I took quick steps, hoping they would get the point and leave me alone but Lily stood up and her hand touched my shoulder. '… Becky?' She asked carefully.

'I…do…not…want….to talk about it' I said, not even trying to be nice as I stormed up the stairs, leaving them all with confused facial expressions.

*

The following days Remus and I didn't utter a word to each other and every time we caught each other gaze we looked away. It was a weird tension everytime we were in the same room.

I become unwilling to do anything, I didn't feel like laughing with the others or being social at all. Most of the time I sat in the dormitory reading my novels, to be in the world of Shakespeare, from time to time Lily would try and persuade me to come down and hang out with them but it never worked.

I had realised I had become just like before.

It was almost time for breakfast as I put on the school uniform and brushed throgh my brown wavy messy hair, not that it helped it still looked as though an bird nest but I couldn't care less. The rest of the girls were sleeping, I could hear the snores of Mary.

Quitely I walked out from the dormitory and closed the door as I walked down the stairs. I didn't expect anyone to up by this time, people usually waited until they only had a couple of minutes left and they ran down in panic to the Great Hall.

I saw the characteristic untidy jet-black hair in the common room, which surprised me. 'James?' I said and he turned around to look at me, with a smile and he stood up. 'Let's go down and grab some toast' He said and I nodded, a bit shell shocked.

We walked down to the Great Hall, James was saying something about a Quidditch game that had gone bad, I pretended to listen as always but the words just slipped away, it was like another language. We walked into the Great Hall, and I figured we would sit in the Gryffindor table, but instead we walked to the Gryffindor table and took some toasts but as I was about to sit down James took my arm and steered me out.

Oh shit, he was going to have a talk with me.

Nervously I started to eat some of the toast I held in my hand as we walked out from the castle to the grounds.

'Becky, what are you doing?' He asked seriously. I knew what he meant but I decided to play a bit stupid.

'What do you mean?' I asked as I had to walk with bigger steps in order to keep in pace with him.

'I mean that you are shutting yourself out, and it's not helping neither you or Remus' he said and I started to chew slowly on the piece I had in my mouth, trying to avoid answering because I didn't know how to reply to somethign like that.

'…I just...I mean…' I started but couldn't find the words.

'I don't know what happened or what you guys said to each other but you guys need to make up and become friends again' James said and stopped walking, he pressed his glasses up.

'I don't think Remus wants to be my friend anymore' I said silent.

'He does…he is just taking everything in I guess' he said and I nodded. I needed him; Remus was my best friend.

James put his arm around me, 'So-what do you say should we go in now?' He asked.

'Yes' I said and we started to walk in together.

I just hoped that everything would be all right soon and back to normal.

*

The sound of rain pouring down, hitting the windows from outside distracted me from my studies in the library, I sighed. There was no point in actually doing any work because I knew I wouldn't be able to do them anyways.

I looked around the room; there were quite a lot of people in here but my gaze stopped on Regulus Black. He was staring at me, and it made the hair on my neck stand up. Maybe I was just imagining I convinced myself but when I looked back five minutes later he was still staring at me.

He looked destroyed, before everything about his looks had been in perfection; not a hair straw out of place or a crease on the shirt but now was a different story. He had some scars on his arm, his hair looked out of control and he had big bags under his eyes.

I looked instantly down at my feet, feeling embarrassed that I was staringat him I had hoped he hadn't noticed. But he had as he walked towards me I couldn't help but to panic, after all he had attacked me last year.

My fingers clinched to the Potions book I held in my hands. Maybe he saw some of his Slytherin friend I tried to convince myself. I wasn't that surprised when he sat down on the chair beside me.

Silence.

Usually silence and quiet didn't bother me at all, but this time it was different. I wanted him to go, but I couldn't help but to think that I was a bit curious to this odd behavior by Regulus and that is what probably stopped me from walking away.

After a while of feeling his eyes carefully inspect me, making me feel very nervous and embarrassed I lay the Potions book opened in order to have something to stop me from going completely red. I started to read the chapter that Mr Slughorn had set for homework and concentrated on the text.

_Amortenia, or more commonly known as Love Potion. It is arguable on of the most powerful potions. It has a a characteristic mother-of-pearl sheen. The potion smell differ from person according to what attracts them. _

'I am sorry' it was an unconfident and hasty voice that spoke. I kept reading my text book.

'I am…you don't know what is like. To be pressured by everyone around you. I'm just sorry for the pain I caused you, actually it was more because I was made at Sirius. Seeing as you spend so much time together…well, I thought he fancied you so I figured it be perfect you know; I would get the respect of the Death Eaters and get back at my brother. Well in anyway I am sorry' He said in one breath and sounded stressed. He quickly got up from his chair and was starting to go.

'You know…you don't need to be like them' I said quiet and he looked at me.

'It's just easier…' he said and walked away.

'HE DID WHAT?' Sirius shouted angrily as I had started telling him what happened. We were sitting in the Great Hall and a few dirty looks went to Sirius from the teacher's table and the Hufflepuff's that was next to the Gryffindor's.

'Calm down…he just sat down and said he was sorry' I said trying to calm Sirius down, but it had the opposite affect as he seemed to get more alarmed.

'If he was really serious about him being sorry then he shouldn't have spoken to you at all because he should have realized how bloody embarrassed and guilty he should be for that he wouldn't be able to look at you.' Said Sirius and stormed up from his seat. I grabbed a hold of his shirt.

'Don't' I warned him and he looked at me as he calmed down and sat down on his seat muttering 'fine'.

*

'Go in groups of two and start practice on your conjuring spells' McGongall said. It was a two hours Transfiguration and everyone was looking longing at the clock.

There was loud muttering going around the room by people getting into groups. I looked around to find someone to work with.

Lily was with Dorcas quickly got into two's. Mary and Alice looked at each other and smiled.

James and Sirius were working together, the only person without a partner except from me was Remus. I nervously walked to where he was sitting, next to James.

'Looks like we are the only ones without partners' I said as I nervously started to twitch with my uniform. Remus looked at me without saying anything, and annoyed I sat down beside him.

He took out his wand and started to practice, I did the same thing but I couldn't get over the fact that he hadn't said a word to me.

'Remus, what exactly do you want me to do? Change everything? Because its too late to do that now. Please, talk to me. I need you' I said quietly. Remus didn't react at all, I tried to continue practicing but it didn't work since I wasn't concentrating.

'Ms Thompson, is it an orchestra you are trying to conjure or-?' McGonagall said brisked. Embarrassed I made my movements gentler.

'No madam' I replied and McGonagall continued walking around the room.

'Remus, you are my best friend. I don't want it to be like this' I said and this time Remus reacted.

'You should have thought about that before' he said angrily.

At least he was talking to me I thought, that's a start.

*

Outside it was pitch dark, I was sitting in the common room and the cold breeze from the window made me shiver.

I was sitting on one of the couches in front of the fireplace. Mary was sitting painting her fingernails in a red colour that reminded me of roses. Alice and Frank were in a make out session, making me feel very uncomfortable.

Lily who had been sitting on the floor had reluctantly gone up and started to go towards James.

James, who grinned when he saw that Lily had been walking up to him for a change put his hand through his hair.

'Wipe out that disgusting grin you have on your face Potter. The only reason why I am voluntary walking up to you is because we have some Head boy and girl's duties to fulfill' Lily said impatient.

'So, you do believe me now?' He asked and Lily rolled her eyes.

'I don't seem to have any other choice, do I?' She snapped. 'This Sunday at 11 am, meet me in the library and we will discuss what do about all of the horrible vomiting pills that people have been trying to sell of as candy?'

'SWEET. Who is selling them?' asked James enthusiastic and Lily smacked him in the head.

'Ouch! I meant, who is selling them so we can…you know catch them' said James and a couple of the younger students were laughing. Lily walked back to where she was sitting before.

I yawned, I was getting tired and most people had already gone up to bed. I rose myself up from the chair, stroking out some of the creases on my skirt and turned around to walk to the dormitory.

I was on my way up the stairs when someone grabbed my sleeve. I turned like ice when I saw it was Remus.

'Becky, I just want you to know that I don't hate you, okay? But you can't expect me to forgive you just like that' He said and I looked at him. He had big bags under the eyes just like Regulus.

I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around his neck, but quickly got my emotions put together again. 'I didn't expect you too, I just…needed to know that you still want to talk with me'

We started walking up the stairs, taking slow steps as we did. We were silent but it was a silence that I could live with.

* * *

I'm the best I know, ;P Said I would update quickly, didn't I?

THANKS for all the reveiws, favourising, alerting and reading - it means a lot :)

Oh, by the way I want to say thanks to MK2starz for helping me when I was at a tight spot with this story.


	29. A Moment with You

The next days, it was finally all right between Remus and me. It was a bit tense when we spoke to each other, but at least he was talking to me now but I noticed that he looked more beaten down than ever before.

It was during dinner, and I was almost falling asleep on the table. I had been up so many times the past weeks studying and it was taking its tool on me. I yawned and took another bite off the steak.

'I don't understand, how can all of you girls have been up all nights. I have not done any homework at all' said James relaxed and leaned back on his chair.

'That is because they actually do the homework James' said Remus

'We have had homework?' asked Sirius in what sounded like a drunken voice.

'Mhm, shocking right?' Remus added.

'Oh, by the way Becky; Dumbledore wants you to his office after dinner. Password is butterbeer' said James.

I almost chocked on the steak. Dumbledore, wanted to meet me – alone?

'UH. Dumbledore wants to meet you _alone _Becky' said Sirius in a perverted voice. I sent him a glare.

'Becky and Dumbledore sitting in a tree-' Peter started saying in a sing song voice

'Too far, too far Peter' said James, I couldn't argue with James on that point.

'Don't worry Becky, personally I think Dumbledore is more into boys' James continued and I gave him an angry stare too.

'Oh, that just makes me feel so much better'

When the dinner was finished and everyone was going to the dormitories I made my way to Dumbledore's office. I was getting more nervous by the second as I walked in the corridors.

Why on earth would Dumbledore want to see me alone?

I could not think of a good reason why he would want to see me – it is not like I had done something bad, nor something good that could make me be sent to his office.

Finally I got to the gargoyle and I said the password rapidly as it moved and I faced a staircase. I walked up the staircase until I got to the small room, I could feel my body tense.

With hurried steps I knocked on the big wooden door. It opened by itself and I stepped inside to the office. It always amazed me every time I was here off the things that stood lurking in the corners that turned out to be the most magical things.

'The professor wanted to see me?' I asked nervously as I took some more steps and Dumbledore, who had been watching Fenix in his cage from where he was sitting behind his desk turned to look at me and he smiled.

'Ah Becky, yes. I suppose James told you?' He asked and I nodded my head.

'Yes' I said and I sat down on the chair on the other side of the desk.

'Has James by any chance told you what he has been up to here?' He asked and I answered by shaking my head. Dumbledore looked as calm as ever as he looked at me.

'Then I am going to tell you. I assume you have heard of Voldemort?' asked Dumbledore and I nodded.

'Well, the only way to beat him is to get an army to fight against him and that is why I am going to start something called The Order of Phoenix.' When he said it, it seemed unreal but at the same time it made things so much clearer. We needed to do something now, otherwise...merlin knows what would happen.

'So, when James has been here I have informing him about this and asked for him too look for people to recruit. But there is going to be needed more than some people meeting. Have you thought about what you want to do after you graduated?' Dumbledore asked.

The fact was that I had not. I did not have any clue of what I was going to do when I was finished and the time was narrowing down by each day.

'…No' I said embarrassed and Dumbledore gave me a comforting smile.

'No worries, no worries' said Dumbledore calm. 'Well, I am going to need people at the Ministry of Magic, because there is where Voldemort is going to try and take power over the people there so I need people that I can trust. So, I would be greatly thankful if you considered the idea'  
I did not know what to say. I could feel my cheeks burn up a bit. The more I thought about it, the more tempting it sounded. I could work for the Daily Mirror, write articles…

'I think I need to think about it' I said and Dumbledore nodded his head.

'Of course, I be honoured if you just considered the offer'

It turned into an awkward silence, I gave a small cough and my eyes then went to Dumbledore's blue ones to see if there was anything more he was going to say, but he did not.

'That was all, you can go off to your dormitory now' said Dumbledore and a bit relived, I rose from my chair and started to walk away, but I stopped when I was close to the door.

'Thank you sir' I said and he smiled at me again.

*

The bell rang as I walked out of the Post Office at Hogsmeade village. I looked at my watch – Lily had decided that everyone would meet at The Three Broomsticks. It still was a lot of time left but I could not come up with anything else to keep me occupied so I decided to start walking up the main street where the pub was.

It was cold outside; the warm summer sun was away as it was turning into October. The street was filled with students; I always thought it odd so see people walking around that I had seen in school without the uniform. I heard the sound of my shoes tramping on the ground as I walked.

As I got to the building that was outside The Three Broomsticks I peeked through the window to see if there was anyone I recognised. It was completely crowded so it was a bit hard to spot but the I sighted a dark red haired girl with almond shaped green eyes that was Lily's and the tall figure with messy black hair and confident posture that belonged to James.

The weirdest thing about this? Lily seemed to be enjoying herself. I mean, at least she was not screaming at him and not waving a wand at him. That was something new, defiantly.

Then I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I turned around so quickly that I felt a bit dizzy when I saw Sirius' face in front off me.

'Oh hi' I said, still a bit dizzy

'Here is the plan – nobody is coming so that Lily is forced actually socialise with James'

Wow, this had James stalker obsessive behaviour for Lily all written over it.

'James idea, I presume?' I asked and Sirius put on a sheepish grin.

'No it was me actually that came up with this flawless plan' he said in what was a very un- Sirius posh voice. I raised my eyebrow.

'You do spot the _tiny _flaw in your oh, so flawless plan?' I asked and he shook his head in disbelief.

'And what would that be, love?'

My cheeks immediately turned red and I hated myself for it.

'After one year I can still make you blush' his voice was proud, I tried to say something but it all came out as mutter.

Why did he have to have this effect on me?

'The flaw is that Lily will figure out when no one else is coming and then she will all think it is James idea and she will go back at screaming at him, and hating him even more'

'But see here is the pure genius of my mind; James does not know about it either so it will be harder for him to screw things up, Lily will be able to tell that he is not lying when he saying he did not put people up to this'

'Sure' I said unconvinced as I was going to start walking away from the pub but Sirius' hand grabbed my jacket. I did not want to him to think I was some creep hanging after him all the time so I figured it was best to go at friendly terms.

'Where do you think you are going?'

'Back to school'

'N-uh' Sirius said and gave me a determined look. I did not say anything in return, but I continued gazing at the window at Lily and James. Sirius and mine shoulders touched as we stood watching.

Suddenly I felt being pulled down to the ground, it took me a moment to realise it was Sirius that was doing it and he dropped down, huddling too.

'What was that for?' I asked and he put a finger over his lips with a grin – signalling that I should be quiet.

'I think James saw us' He whispered and I stumbled out an 'Oh' my voice was shaky.

Sirius grey eyes looked at me as we both were huddled under the window and we both started to laugh when or eyes met.

We were still for a couple of minutes more, none seemed willing to rise.

'I'm bored' said Sirius and broke the silence. We got up at the same time as a group of excited third years stepped out of the pub.

'Come' he said and I nodded my head a bit confused as I tried to catch up with Sirius, who had started to walk up the street.

'Where are we going?' I asked

'The Hog's Head' Sirius replied calmly.

'O-what?' my voice was terrified

It was not until seconds later when I saw Sirius face crack up that I understood that he had been kidding, and my shoulders relaxed.

'Very funny' I said unhumorous and Sirius arm wrapped around my neck for a couple of seconds. It did not avoid me that there were several girls glaring jealously at me; it was a weird thing – having people look at me with envy.

'Did you really think I would take you too the Hog's Head?' He asked amused.

'…Well, I mean…you…'

'Seem like the reckless type?' He finished and I laughed.

'Something like that, yes'

'I am offended'

'So, you can say with a straight face that you have not been inside the Hog's Head?' I asked and Sirius stared at me with his gray eyes, it made me a bit weak in the knees and I was so distracted I almost tripped on a stone that lay on the ground.

'I have not been inside the Hog's Head' he said as serious as he could, but it was easy to tell that he was lying.

'Liar'

'You got me there'

It got silent again, as we continued to walk up the street until Sirius steered to the left in one of the small alleys next to a store. I had never walked on the path and was starting to get a bit nervous. It continued to a narrow road with trees until the tree's disappeared and we were standing on a cliff, there was a lake under and around there were mountains. It was absolutely stunning, and so peaceful.

'Wow, Sirius – this is beautiful. How did you find this place?'

'I have my ways' He said with a smirk.

I sat down on the rocky ground, and Sirius did the same thing shortly after.

'I have missed you' he said suddenly and I looked at him confused. 'Well when you were with Remus we did not spend so much time together, just the two of us and I have missed that'

Suddenely the lake looked clearer and the mountains looked every more breathtaking.

'I have missed you too'

*

The sky was dark as it had turned into night, and the common room was full with people. I was buried in a Transfiguration essay as I was sitting in front of the fireplace. It was confusing, and I bit the quill in my mouth.

'Where-were-you?' It was Lily's angry tone that almost made me jump off surprise

'What?' I asked confused, knowing very well that Lily meant the incident at Hogsmeade but I figured this would earn more time. Lily looked at me unconvinced.

'You know what I am talking about, you and everyone left me alone for twenty minutes with James'

I was busy

No, everyone would know that was a lie

I forgot?

Nope, Lily would know I would not have forgotten a thing like that. Especially when she reminded everyone about the whole day.

I felt sick

No, that would not work too. I would need to do some serious acting for that, something that I was miserable at doing.

'Someone kind…of stole me away. I tried to get away from it, but I couldn't' I said. This was just partially a lie; if Sirius had not stood their and taken me away I would have gone inside.

I could feel Lily eyeing me suspiciously to see if I was lying, but judging by her look I could tell that she did not completely believe me but it looked like she decided that the excuse was fine so she went back to talking to Mary. I continued with my homework, that I did not get.

'Becky, do you need help?' Remus asked, and I nodded my head. He was sitting on the couch and he went down to the floor where I was sitting.

'You bit your pen…you always bite your pen when you do not know what to do' he said and I stared at him confused.

'Oh' was all I could get out.

'So, what do you need help with?'

I was so involved with the work that Remus was helping me with that I did not notice when Sirius walked in through the portrait and he slouched down on the couch.

'I have just been dumped'

I tried to concentrate on the text because I could feel Remus eyes looking at me, trying to see some reaction on me of the significance of the words just said but I was determined not to let that happened.

'Wait, Marlene dumped you?' asked Peter confused.

'Yes, SHE dumped me' He said shocked.

'Did she say why mate?' asked James and Sirius waved with his hands

'Some bullshit she can not be in a relationship with me because I am not ready to commit' there was a silence hanging in the air after he said that

'You know, I…think I got this now Remus. Thank you, I am going to go to bed now' I said.

I could not hear on this talk, it was driving me mad. Fine, Sirius did not have a girlfriend anymore, and I did not have a boyfriend but it would still remain the same. I would still always secretly long for him, and he would never notice me.

* * *

I AM REALLY REALLY REALLY SORRY OKAY????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As I have been saying, IB is a killer and it is eating me alive and I have been busy with life basically, turned 17 two weeks ago. But I am really truly sorry it has taken this long. :/

By the way, the next chapter will be very juicy...I think. Or at least the chap after that.

Okay, so here is the deal; I am going away for vaccation now, and I won't be able to update as much during this break then...But after the year shift, in the beginning somewhere I promise you guys there will be an update. I am planning to do a one shot Christmas story, but I would need to finish that tmrw and I do not know if I can do that.

Ah well.

THANKS for being patient, reviewing, alerting, favoursing & reading the story!!

Btw, any tip on good Americans stores for a 17 year old girl?;P

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR 3


	30. Pass It On

It must have said **SIRIUS BLACK IS SINGLE **in the newspaper because the next day, _everyone _knew about it.

I give it to Marlene, when she had dated Sirius at least then the crowd of girls always surrounding him, if any it had grew bigger.

I heard the door to the dormitory open, and Lily stepped in, we were the only ones in the room. I could not fall asleep, I could not get Sirius out of my mind and it was driving me crazy.

'Becky, are you awake?'

'Yes' I answered and Lily sat down on the bed and looked at me for a couple of moments.

'You know, for a while I have been sure that you have had a crush on someone in the school. At first I thought it was Remus but then I realized that he was not it. Then I continued thinking and come to this question – who is the guy that almos no girl in the school seem resist? The answer was obvious Sirius'

The words lay like an echo in the room, and it hang around as it turned silence.

Did everyone in the school have super natural powers to tell whom I liked? It certainly felt like that because I could not think of any other reason.

Perhaps Snape had told her, but they had not talked for months and it seemed I would remain that way too.

What was I supposed to say, admit it? Deny it?

Ugh, merlin was I sick of going through this every time.

'It is really stupid…I know – I mean; could I pick any worse guy to like?' I asked and Lily's arms wrapped around me.

'How long?' She asked after she released her grip of me.

'Since first year' I answered silently. Lily looked at me a bit shocked.

'Oh, honey'

'It's fine…I mean James has had a crush on you since first year; right? And he is completely fine. I be fine, I will get over it' I said and Lily looked at me, now she was the one silent.

She tilted her head against my shoulder.

_I'm going to be fine _

*

As Mr Slughorn walked in to the Potions classroom the chatting that had been going on stopped.

'God morning everyone' Slughorn said cheerily

'Good morning professor'

'Today, I will start with a short lecture; as you know for N.E.W.T's you will also be needed to repeat year six so consider this a small review lesson'

A loud and long clapping broke out in the classroom. On the table was a cauldron with a pearl white sheen over it.

'Everyone gather around this table' Slughorn instructed and everyone went up to gather around the table.

Slughorn had a smirk on his face.

'So I presume that you know that love potion goes under the other name of Amortenia?' asked Slughorn and everyone nodded. Snape rolled his eyes as if he considered this lesson a waste of time.

'Now, I wonder what uhm, Ms Thompson can tell us about this potion'

I started to sweat nervously, speaking in class was the worst thing I knew. What if I said something wrong and everyone would laugh at me?

I tried to recall what the Potion book had said about the Love Potion.

'Well uhm Amortenia is considered to be the most powerful potion there is. The mother pearl sheen is characteristic mother-pearl sheen and the smell of the potion varies according to what attracts the person who smells it'

Slughorn smiled at me. 'Very good Becky, five points to Gryffindor'

'Now, would you be so kind to tell the class what the potion smells for you?'

It was like something was stuck in my throat.

I took small steps towards the cauldron and I leaned over as I took a big breath in.

'Cinnamon…butterbeer' I took another breah ' and …grass'

'Very good Ms Thompson, would Ms Evans care to do the same?'

I walked back to the spot where I had stood.

Lily nodded and smiled as she walked confidently to do the desk. She put her head closer to the cauldron.

'It smells like wood, dew and chocolate' she said hesitant after a while, looking a bit shell shocked when she walked back.

'Very good'

The door to the classroom opened behind me and I gazed back, along with other people in the class to see Sirius walk in the classroom holding a roll of parchment in his hand.

A couple of girls from Hufflepuff and Rawenclaw started to giggle.

'Professor Rose wanted to give me to give you this' he said and handed the parchment to Professor Slughorn.

'While you are here, would you care to share to the others in the class what you smell of this potion'

Sirius shrugged his shoulders nonchalant and walked to the potion and leaned over.

'…parchment, apples and ink' he said after a while.

'Thank you Mr Black, now your turn Mr Greene'

At the end of the lesson Slughorn said that he had announcement to make. There was a lot of whispering going around the class because of this.

'On Halloween, I am going to have a masquerade party in my office so everyone is invited; bring your friends if you like' he hesitated a while before saying

'But please, do not dress too provocative.'

*

The buzz on Slughorn's Halloween party had spread quickly around the school and everyone was getting excited about it.

Everyone; except for me that is – but no way I was going to go to the party.

I yawned as I sat at in the Great Hall, it was morning and I was pressing myself in the oatmeal.

I hadn't gotten any sleep last night and I felt like a walking zombie. As soon as I saw Lily who had always been a morning person I couldn't help but to feel a bit jealous, or well I was always jealous at Lily.

'Should I go as a mermaid?' Lily asked

'You would make a beautiful mermaid Lily, but isn't very difficult to get the costume?' asked Alice. Lily tugged on the quill that she had in her mouth.

'I think you are right, next Hogsmeade meeting is not until after Halloween.' Said Lily, sounding a bit disappointed.

'You Becky, have you decided what you are going to go as?' Dorcas asked.

'I'm not going to go'

'What?' asked Lily, that now had stopped tugging on the pen.

'Well, I don't like parties and especially not masquerades. It's just…not my thing' I explained.

'No-no. We will not let you get off so easily' said Alice and I sighed.

When would they get it?

I hated the loud music, everyone intoxicated and just everything.

I just wanted to be alone.

'Becky, you will regret if you do not go' Lily protested.

I don't think so.

'There are a lot of parties you can skip, but this one is going to be so much fun' Alice continued.

'If you don't enjoy yourself then you can just go back' said Dorcas and she did make a good point there.

'We will never, ever force you too go to another party' said Lily and that is what was tempted me the most.

'Okay, if I go to this one none of you can never ever again force me to go to a party' I said with a smile.

'It's a deal' said Dorcas and smiled back.

'But…I don't have anything to wear' I realized.

'Oh, we will figure out something' said Lily and grinned.

I was officially scared for my life.

James sat down between me and Remus.

'Becky, are you going to the masquerade?' James asked as he stretched out for some toast.

'Apparently I am, are you?'

'Are you kidding, Lily is going so of course James is going' said Remus

'What, James - are you going to the masquerade?' Lily asked. I couldn't help to notice that she was actually calling James by his real name. Usually it was more like git, idiot and my favorite "you bloody excuse for a man"

'Yes I am'

'You weren't invited, how to do you except to get in?' Lily asked suspicious.

'Ah, my sweet Lily – Have you forgotten my family? Slughorn is rather found of my ancestors, you see. He invited me to the party saying that I could invite how many people I want. So naturally I'm bringing Sirius, Remus and Peter'

Lily seemed to want to say something but stopped herself and continued to talk with Alice.

*

It was nearing dinner: most people were sitting in the common room trying to cram in the homework before dinner.

I had finished my homework and I was walking around restlessly around the room.

No, I could not be here anymore, I felt suffocated by all the people. I climbed out of the portrait, I nearly walked into a small first year girl when I did. I said 'Sorry' quietly.

I sighed of relief as I stood on the empty staircase and walked down to the first floor where I walked out to the grounds.

It was a beautiful night, the sky was dark – and it was misty. It was a lot warmer than I had thought when I had walked out. I started to walk towards the Black Lake, it was always so peacful there.

As I got closer to the tree where I liked to sit I was surprised to see I was not the only person that had thought it to be a great evening to sit there.

At first I couldn't make out the figure but then I when I saw the dark hair that I could identify anywhere and the gray eyes that I had memorized.

It was Sirius.

By the way he sat, leaning against the tree and looking out over the lake I wondered if he might want to be alone, and I stared turn back to the castle.

'Becky?' he asked.

'Oh, hey Sirius' I said awkwardly and turned to his direction again.

I sat down next to him, leaning against the tree and I looked at the lake. During the night it seemed to live its life own its own and I wondered what dark creatures that really lurked underneath.

'How are you?' I said after a while, breaking the silence.

'I'm just tired of hearing giggling everywhere I go, I needed to get out of the castle' he said.

'Do, you want to be alone?' I asked unsure, and I thought to see him smile.

'No stay – you are not like those girls.' He said and I was happy that my red cheeks could not be seen in this dark.

_No, I am only ten times worse. _

'Can I ask you a question Becky?' Sirius asked and looked at me. I nodded my head as I leaned back.

'Do you think I am superficial?'

Honestly, _yes._

What did he expect me to say?

No?

'Well, uhm…yes' I said unsure and Sirius looked at me.

'You know, at least I now what you think of me' Sirius snapped and I looked him shocked at him as he jumped up.

OH, crap. Stupid Becky, as always you mess everything up.

'Sirius I did not mean it like

'How did you mean it like then?' he shouted and started walking away. I got up, trying o catch up with him but I did no.

_Fine, let him be a baby if he wants too _I though as I angrily stamped on the ground.

* * *

I am sorry it is a short chapther, but I wanted to write the Halloween party in one whole one so this works best.

I do not think I will update this story in a while to be honest, I really need to concenrate on school If you are really only it won' be until Spring Break...I also got a new laptop so it's going to take some ime to download everything that computer.

Hope you all had a nice Christmas and a Happy New Year. 2010 will be totally awesome.

Thanks for all the reviews, alerts , favourising & reading the story =)

Until next time, be well.


	31. Halloween

**Sirius POV**

'Can you believe _her,_ calling me selfish?' I said angrily to James as we stood in the dormitory.

I was preparing myself for the Halloween party, and I was putting on the shirt. James was sitting on his bed and as he pulled on a hat. He was going as a pirate.

'Sirius, you have been going on about this for two days now. You don't think there is another reason why you are so upset?' He asked; sounding a bit tired of this subject.

'What the bloody hell are you trying to say Prongs?'

'I'm saying that I have a theory' said James mischievous

'And what would that that be?' I asked as started to button up the shirt.

'I mean, that a hell lot of other people have called you superficial without you caring, because you know that you are'

'Well' I started trying to come up with a good excuse 'You should have been there, it was they way she said it' I said as I had started to wave my hands feverishly.

'Yeah, because Becky has a tendency to say mean snide remarks. No, Sirius I think that you are so upset because you actually care about what Becky thinks off you'

Well.

DUH.

'Of course I do' I said and shrugged my shoulders. James buried his hands in his face.

'No, Sirius I mean, that you fancy her' he said frustrated.

Me fancy Becky?

And Snape is my soul mate.

But, no matter how hard I tried to push what James had said, the more I couldn't stop thinking about it.

The more I thought about it, the more I thought of Becky snogging someone other and it made me want kicking the ass of that guy and after that hex him until only the bones remained.

'You are just imaging, wouldn't be the first time' I said trying to sound relaxed.

'Sirius, you are like a brother too me. I know you better than anyone and you definitely fancy her…now…should I take the red or the black scarf?'

James voice was blurred out by my thoughts of Becky.

'What?' I asked distracted

'Forget get about it'

The door to the dormitory opened, Remus and Peter walked in.

Remus.

Becky was Remus girl, or well they had broken up but Remus was still in love with her. Even if he did not, it is the golden rule not to date your brother's girlfriend.

Reality hit me like Titantic.

Even if there were the slight possibility that I liked Becky, it would never be able to happen.

Besides, she did not like me that way.

All I wanted to do now was to drown my emotions in a bottle of firewhisky and girls.

*

**Becky's POV**

Lily finished drawing the eyeliner on the top of my eyelid to finish off my look.

I was going to be Cleopatra; I was wearing a flowy white dress with a cape and a head-band. I had borrowed a bracelet shaped like a snake from Mary that I had on my upper arm,

'Finished' said Lily smiling. She looked stunning as a 20's woman. She was wearing a glittery flapper dress, a feather in her hair and a fake fur wrapped around her arms.

'Thank you' I said.

'Now, are the glasses too much?' Asked Alice as she put on a pair off thick black glasses on. She was wearing jeans, that went up to her belly button and a tucked in shirt. To complete the look she had slick hair put in a pony tail.

She had transformed into a dork.

'Nah, it looks good' said Dorcas. She was wearing a blue check mate printed dress over a white blouse, two pig tails that were tied in blue ribbon and red shoes.

'Who are you going as Dorcas?' I asked and she looked at me astounded.

'Dorothy!' she shrieked.

'Who?'

'It's from famous muggle book called 'The Wizard from the OZ' Lily explained calmly.

'Ah…I still have no idea'

'Everyone is finished?' Alice asked and everyone nodded.

'To the Party!' said Dorcas cheerily.

When we got to Slughorn's office the party had already started, you could tell from the loud music and chatting going on inside.

'Ah, Ms Evans and Ms Thompson, I see you brought your friends' said Slughorn happily.

He smelled of wine and mead. He was almost unrecognizable in his costume as a zombie, he had on his ordinary clothes but they were ripped and his face filled with white make up.

Hello professor' Lily said and we walked inside.

'Wow'

All of us replied at the same time.

I was completely taken away by the room atmosphere. It was covered with spider webs, and people were all dressed up in different costumes. There was a live band singing and there were punches and chips in every form and colour possible.

The room was smoky and dark; it was quite hard to see exactly how many people were inside, but judging by the noise, a lot.

We started to walk around the room until we got to a place where there was couches and chairs. Remus, Peter and James were all sitting there.

'Hey Becky' It was Remus; he was sitting on a chair. He had a black cape, fake fangs and his face was painted pale. His hair was also black now.

Vampire.

I couldn't help but to give a smug smile for the irony.

'Hi, how long have we been here?' I asked. James; dressed as a pirate in a big hat, very big shirt, belt around his waist and big pants pointed at the dance floor.

I turned around to see Sirius dancing crazy together with several girls; in his hand he had a bottle of firewhisky that was almost empty.

He was by no question completely pissed.

For the past two days he had not said anything tome, just because I had answered a question honestly, that he had asked.

'Long enough for Sirius to get that hammered' said James and finished his sentence as his gaze turned to Lily.

'Lily, how is it possible that you look more amazing by each day?' he asked.

If, I was not mistaken I saw her cheeks getting flushed.

'Thank you James' she answered gently. I raised my eyebrow, by this moment, no doubt shouldn't she be preaching what a superficial idiot he was?

'I heard that Professor Slughorn has invited real vampires here' said Peter. He was dressed as a mouse, and not surprisingly it fitted him perfectly. But you couldn't exactly call him original.

'You mean, like _him?_' said Remus as he looked at a tall man, he had a black cape, a pale gaunt face and dark slicked hair.

Peter now looked terrified of the big man.

I decided to go to the table to get something to drink, I had to stand in line but when I finally got there I took some of an orange punch.'

'HEY BECKY' said a slurry voice. I turned around to see Sirius standing there, the bottle was now completely empty.

I did not say anything in reply. I stood there glazing at him. He was wearing a white shirt with wide sleeves, tight pants and boots. He looked like a character from the Shakespearian character.

'Beck, Beck, Beck' He continued as he grabbed a hold of a glass of red wine on the table.

'I'M SORRY, okay? I asked you a question and I shouldn't have asked it if I didn't want an honest answer. I just, I don't know, just needed to know what you thought about me' He said, the vocals were poorly articulated.

I sighed.  
Well if he apologized then I should too.

'No, I am sorry. I shouldn't have put it in that way. Yeah, you do judge people on looks BUT' I said with a big emphasis on big so that Sirius wouldn't get more mad.

'You are also extremely loyal and you'll do anything for the people you love. You are funny, charmi" I stopped suddenly. My cheeks started to turn red.

He grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

'Dance with me' He said determined.

'What?'

'Dance with me'

I shook my head.

'I don't dance' I explained.

'When did I say you have a choice?' asked Sirius mischievous

I groaned as his hand pressed mine tighter against mine and he dragged me out to the dance floor.

He took my other hand and he looked at me.

'Sirius, please, I don't want too' I said as I tried to linger away.

'Just one dance' he begged. I bit my lip, as a fourth year girl had danced into into my back.

'Okay, one dance' I said giving up. He smiled at me.

The music was playing loudly from the band; I had never heard them before but then; I was not a big music fan.

Sirius started to dance, I was happy it was not as wild as it had been before. I started to move my legs hesitant on the floor. Sirius looked pleasant at me, and I relaxed a bit more.

I was completely tranquilized by everything; it was like being in one of those movies. It was like only Sirius and me that existed.

I may not be the best dancer but I was having fun.

'See this is not to bad is it?' He said as we continued to dance.

'No' I said and smiled.

The music had changed into a slow song and around us people had been changing position for the dance.

I had thought that Sirius would stop but instead he moved his hand moved down to the waist and held my other hand in a soft grip. He moved his body closer to me; I could feel my heart starting to pulsate faster and faster by every second.

Without realizing it, my head was resting on his shoulders.

I could feel his look at me and I felt special. I knew I wasn't for him, but for me being able to be so close.

Feel his warmth and touch, was all I needed.

I didn't want the song to end, and neither one of us noticed when the song finished, and we still danced close to each other until the chorus of the next song when we realized that the ballad had changed into rock.

Both off us started to pull out slowly and I muttered a 'Thank You' as I walked back to where there others had sat when I had walked to get a drink.

Everyone was looking at me shocked, except from Remus that was just glaring angrily at me.

There was an awkward silence as I walked next to Lily.

'Lovely weather… isn't it?' said James thoughtfully.

'What do you mean? It's raining?' said Peter confused.

'Peter, he was joking. Because Becky got back from dancing slow dance with Sirius so we were all trying to not make it awkward for her before we interget her' Mary explained.

Peter still looked confused.

'Guys, it was a _dance, _stop acting like we were making out. Look, he is probably dancing with another girl now' I said and turned around to show them.

Very right,

Sirius was now dancing with a girl, wearing practically nothing more than underwear and cat ears as he had got himself another bottle in his hand.

'See' I said trying to sound pleased

Why had I for one second second believed that I was different?  
The others went quiet again, and I found that disturbing. It would be easier if they just continued to talk and not acknowledge how hurt I was.

*

For the rest of the night I talked with Remus, even though I realised he was jealous because I had danced with Sirius and never with him he was still my best friend and after a while the conversation was the same as we used to have.

I had seen Sirius get wasted at parties before, but this was the worst I had ever seen him. I had seen James glaring at him occasionally to make sure he was all right.

Alice was dancing with Mary, Frank had graduated last year and I had noticed Alice becoming more depressed than before. Lily was also away, and Peter was standing at the snacks table fitting in as much chips as one could.

James, who had been away from about one hour came back from the corridor and looked at Sirius who was standing at the drinking table, barely standing.

He had been making out with a number of girls at the parties, he went from one to another. I mean, he was known to be a heartthrob but this was just ridiculous.

'Becky, do you think you can take Sirius to the dormitory?' James asked.

'Well, I had been planning to leave so I can might as well go now' I said and shrugged my shoulders.

'Bye, see you guys tomorrow' I said to James and Remus.

I walked towards Sirius, the rush had seemed to took off by now and he was almost completely dozed off.

I grabbed his hand he looked at me confused. He really stank of alcohol now.

'I'm taking you up to bed now' I said and he nodded his head, giving no sign of refusal.

I tried to lead him out the room but he felt a number of times. I sighed.

I took his arm and put it around my neck. This time it went a lot easier when I was supporting him and we got out of the room to the dungeons. He put his head on my shoulder.

Silent we started to make our way up to Gryffindor's common room.

'Why are you doing this Sirius?' I asked him

He said something back that I couldn't exactly make out but it sounded like 'Because of you'. I turned ice cold, I didn't want to know what he meant by that.

We had almost walked out the stairs when Professor Dumbledore walked out of one of the portraits. He looked at Sirius and then me.

'You are coming from Slughorn's party?' He asked, I nodded my head.

'MATE, it's a total MASH UP, you should go down' said Sirius. Dumbledore looked amused at this comment.

'I just might. Have a nice evening, and I hope for your sake Sirius as pleasant morning as you can' He said and walked past us.

'Let's continue now' I said

It took more than five times as long to walk to the common room than it usually did.

Now I just needed to get Sirius into the dormitory.

There were several curious students that eyed us as I had walked in the common room. Something that I found very uncomfortable.

Sirius was about to fall; I had to grab his waist so that he balanced himself.

Walking up the stairs to the common room was hard as it was circular and I seemed to lose my grip of him by every step.

I was relieved when I got to the top floor and saw the guy's dormitory. I opened my door as Sirius rested on me.

As we got inside I closed the door and I put him on the bed that I knew was his.

I pulled of his shoes, and put them on the floor. Putting the cover over him I was about to go but he grabbed my wrist.

'Thank you Becky'

'No problem'

'I, really care for you, you know..' he said 'much more than I should'

Before I could say anything else he had drozed off and heavy snores filled the room.

* * *

Okay, turns out I didn't have much school work this week. So I had time XD But yeah, I don't know when next update is going to be. It could be next week, it could be during the Holiday in Spring.

But yeah, it is offical SIRIUS FANCIES BECKY. Can't believe it took 31 chapters. But I seriously wants you guys to tell me how you feel about how it happend.

I have a question about the ending, do you guys want it to be long and...well sort of happy and a bit AU or shorter and more sad. I mean, no matter what happens it's going to be sad and Sirius is going to die as in the book but it is more like if you guys want to have it a bit AU and then it will be...a lot longer actually or more fitting in to the books? Am I making any sense?XD

THANKS for all the reviews, alerts, favourising and reading.

Gah, I really wish I could answer more of the reviews but I am just so freaking busy. But it doesn't mean that I don't take it in, because I do and it means a lot


	32. The Things Left Unsaid

The gossip about what had happened at the Halloween party had begun early the next morning. I could hear the girls standing at the staircase whispering about who had been the most drunk ( Sirius ) , who had hooked ( Mary and some Hufflepuff guy, along with a list of other people ) and who had gotten into fights ( Two guys from Ravenclaw who had been fighting over a Hanna Grant ) as I walked down the staircase down to the common room I felt the looks of some girls bore into my neck. They probably heard that I escorted Sirius back to his dormitory.

As my feet touched the floor, I saw James, Remus, Sirius and Peter talking in the corner of the room. James looked completely glowing, Remus looked a bit angry ( full moon was probably coming up in a couple of days ), Peter…looked as he always did; awkward and in another world. Sirius on the other hand looked completely disheveled, mind you, even with bags under his eyes and an empty expression he looked gorgeous..because it was Sirius and life was unfair, but the expression on his face was as if he just been hit by a train.

The boys seemed to have a private discussion it looked as though they were whispering.

Better to just go down to Lily and Alice who I knew had gone down to the Great Hall for breakfast.

'BECKY, come' James shouted as I had started to walk to the painting. A few curious looks came from some of the younger students. A bit surprised my name had been called our I made my way to the boys.

'Good morning' James said cheerily with a cheeky smile.

'Morning' I replied, not having half of the enthusiasm that James had.

Sirius was not even looking at me, seeming determined not to meet my eyes, something that made me quite surprised.. 'I need to go, got some…homework to do' he said dryly and walked away quickly. It was quiet until there was the sound of the painting closing.

I hadn't seen Sirius touch one of his school books in six years so the likeliness of him going to the library to study, instead of making out seemed unthinkable.

'What is wrong with him?' Remus asked, relieving me from the awkwardness of having to ask the same thing.

'I have no clue' James said, a bit lost for words. It seemed like he also did not know what his friend was up to. Then his eyes went to me.

'Oh yeah, Becky I was just going to thank you for taking care Sirius back to the dormitory. I doubt he would have found out of the dungeons without any help'

'No problem. What happened when after I left?' I asked to make conversation. James gave a very big smile.

'Guess what? PETER here hooked up with a girl from fifth year'

Peter hooking up with a girl? The thought was as strange as it would be to see Dumbledore dressing in women clothes.

'Believe me, we were shocked too' Remus grinned, in answer to my facial expression.

'Hey' Peter protested weakly, his cheeks were red but there was definite a more proud tone to it, glad to get some attention.

'It's fine, it's fine Peter' James laughed, putting his arms on Peter's shoulders. Peter mumbled something but didn't care to develop.

'I am famished' James said, and with that we all walked to the Great Hall for breakfast.

* * *

It started during the Defense Against Dark Arts lesson the next day.

I had just been turning my head around to look at the clock when I saw Sirius staring at me, a couple of benches behind me. The look he gave me was intense and looked revolted, it frankly made me scared and made me feel guilty even though I had not done anything of what I knew.

I immediately, cheeks turned my glance to the table looking down at my notes that had suddenly become very interesting, in lose for any other ideas.

I took a big breathe out.

Why was Sirius standing at me? And that look…it had been, well…angry. Was he mad at me? Why would he be mad at me? The last time we had talked was when I had taken him back to the dormitory, and that was certainly something he couldn't be mad at me for.

Surely I was imaging, he had just been tilted at his chair and his gaze gad happen to land where I sat…or maybe he was looking at Mary, who was sitting behind me. All though, why would he be mad at Mary too?

But as the day went on it wasn't only DADA that I found him staring at me – Care of Magical Beings, Transfiguration and in History of Magic. In each of those lessons when I had been looking at Sirius he had been looking at me with the same irritated expression. Everytime i had to look away when I saw him looking at me, only to return to look at him after a couple of minutes to see if he was still staring at me.

As the History of Magic lesson ended almost everyone in the class had packed their bags and were practically standing waiting for Proffesor Binnis to wrap the lesson up I grabbed my bag annoyed, putting all my stuff in my bag angrily.

Sirius doesn't have any rights whatsoever to look at me like that.

As everyone was lining up to go outside I decided to look for James.

I saw him in the front of the classroom and I sighed as I waited until I finally got outside the classroom, making my way mast the crowd.

The familiar black messy hair was walking from me in the hallway and I raced towards him. He was walking with Sirius, Remus and Peter. As I finally got next to James I pulled his sweater and he turned around to look at me confused.

I was determined not to look at Sirius.

"James, can I speak with you?' I asked and he looked at me confused but nodded his head and signed for the others to keep walking, which they did.

James and I looked at each other as we stood alone in the corridor. I leaned against the wall.

'Why is Sirius been giving me those looks?'

He raised an eyebrow, and opened his mouth to say something but then he hesitated and closed it.

'What looks?'

'Those looks that he has given me the whole day which says I-want-to-kill-you basically'

James slid his hand through his hair.

'I will ask him' James said I nodded, content with his answer.

We started to walk towards the Common room together.

'Becky?' He said suddenly.

'Yes'

'You know before the summer, when we talked in the owlery and you said you had a crush on someone that didn't notice you?'

I felt my heart skip a beat right at that moment 'Yes' My voice was a bit shaky.

'Was that person…oh, never mind. It can't be' James mumbled

* * *

I would have thought that after James would have talked to Sirius it would be over; or at least an explanation why but not any of those things happened.

However, that was not the case.

It was lunch, my next period started soon so I had to go to the dormitory to grab my book. As I walked down the stairs to the common room that had been empty when I walked in, a tall figure was sitting on the couch.

Sirius, of course.

I had never liked confrontation.

Scratch that.

I hated confrontations.

'Hi' I said and he turned back to look at me.

'Hi'

I sat down next to him and I stared at the fireplace in front of me.

'Are you mad at me?' I asked

Sirius gave out an amused snort sound.

'Why would I be mad at you?'

'I don't know, but you have been giving me looks that could kill ever since Slughorn's Halloween party' I explained

His mouth formed to an 'O'.

'No, no – Beck. You haven't done anything' he sounded a bit more collected but I doubted that nothing had happened.

'Trust me' He said, seeming to read to my mind.

'Okay. I trust you then'

He gave one of those smiles only Sirius could do; it made my stomach bubbly and my head feel empty.

'Thanks for taking care of me last night, you know, it's when you are really really drunk you see whom your real friends are' I smiled back at him. I wanted to ask him about the last thing he had said before he went to sleep but I realized he probably did not remember. Besides, in that state of mind he most likely did not know what he said for starters.

'Hi Remus' Sirius said, I turned around to see Remus standing behind me, still wearing the same grum expression as before.

'HI' He replied shortly, his eyes were intensely watching me. 'Becky, can I talk to you – in private?'

'Yeah, sure' I said surprised and Remus grabbed my hand, leading me out from the common room to a corridor that was empty. We did not say anything to each other as we did.

'Becky, I am just warning you to be careful' said Remus, and I was even more surprised than before

'Be careful to what?' I asked. His eyes stared straight at me.

'Sirius'

'What?' I had lost control of my voice. What the hell was he on about?

'Sirius is a great friend, but when it comes to how he treats girls I can't say the same. He gets bored and moves on'

I could not for the world understand what Remus was trying to say. Did not he think I knew that Sirius was a player, that he had broken the hearts of half of the female population at Hogwarts. More to it, why did this even matter?

'Remus, do you really think that I think I even have a chance with Sirius?' I asked him

'Becky, I just don't want you to get hurt. You were DANCING with him; you do more for him than you ever do for me – and I was your boyfriend!' I had never seen Remus so uncontrolled and it terrified me.

I did not know what to reply, because Remus was right. I was willing to sacrifice more for Sirius than for Remus. I was willing to do so much for a guy who did not feel the same and would only break my heart.

It was at that moment I realized just how destroyed I was.

Remus put his hands on my shoulders.

'I am just saying that you deserve more'

My face buried on his shoulder.

'I really wished we could have worked'

Remus hand slid through my hair as he whispered 'I know, I know'

* * *

It was not only James that had been acting more happy than usual. I had noticed that Lily was too walking around with a smile on her face. It was a Thursday night when I decided to ask her about it. I had finished my transfiguration homework and Lily and I were the only ones in the dormitory. She was on her bed reading a book.

'Hey Lily?' I said, straightening myself up as I sat on the bed leaning against the wall. Lily looked up from her book.

'Yes?'

'So, I can't help noticing that ever since Slughorn's party you have been walking around with a smile on your face, so I was wondering if there was any particular reason for this?' I asked her. Lily looked at me hesitant.

'Oh. Really? Nothing special comes to mind. It has just been a good week' she said cheekily, trying to keep herself from laughing.

'Lily'

'Yes?'

'You suck at lying' I said, and we both laughed.

It was one of those moments where everything seemed to be in slow motion and you could think clearly. I had only a couple of months left of school, and then I had to get out into the real world. It was both an exciting and scary thought, mostly scary. I had no clue what I wanted to do, for the first time I was without plans.

* * *

I AM SO SORRY. I have been so busy, with everything, moving, travelling and mostly studying for exams. My laptop also broke, so some of the things were on that computer. Anyway, I have SUMMER BREAK. WOHOOOOO. All though I need to study my ass off. ( IB...*sigh* ) however, a lot of my friends are going to be away so I will have time to update quite a lot I think.

What more...Oh yeah, I am going to read do the first chapter - just fix some grammar and spelling mistakes.

I know that this was a short chapter and so, but I couldn't add any more scenes. It be too much

Thanks for being patient, reviewing, favourising, alerting and reading. You guys are the best.


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